Anonymous
10/24/2013 15:03
Subject: Re:boyfriend talking about buying a bigger house -- read into this?
Mr. Big
Sounds like a pimp or sugar daddy
Sounds like a pimp or sugar daddy
Anonymous
10/24/2013 14:56
Subject: boyfriend talking about buying a bigger house -- read into this?
Anonymous wrote:I'm a single mom dating a single dad for just over a year, we split up because he didn't want to be exclusive with anyone, but then are back together.... we have young kids the same age adn he knows i would like a blended family some day......and now boyfriend, who is a Mr. Big type, is showing me all sorts of brochures for houses, is going house-hunting for a bigger house, and is asking me for my opinion on this all..... I'm wondering if my mr. big is just playing games stringing me along with the talk of a bigger house, trying to give me the implicit hope about the bigger house "meaning" something -- but am playing it off as ift his house is just for him, that I'm never expecting that he'd want me to live there, etc.... but he says things abotu whether he thinks i would like the neighborhood or not, etc....
So my question is: should i read into this prospective shopping as meaning he is considering the notion of a blended family after all? or is he just stringing me along with the hope that some day he'll want to settle down and make a commitment - he's late 40s for what its worth, never married before....
Frankly, given all the info, I don't think it means anything. I think he is using you to get feedback on real estate and generate some (for him) welcome ambiguity as a side effect.
Anonymous
10/24/2013 14:48
Subject: boyfriend talking about buying a bigger house -- read into this?
Agreed. You've known each other for a year and he still doesn't want to date exclusively? That's never going to change. He clearly just sees you as Ms. Right Now, not Ms. Right, and will keep stringing you along until he finds someone better or you put an end to it. You've made it clear that you want a serious relationship with a blended family, and he's not going there. So your path is clear - forget about reading into what he is trying to do, dump him, and look for a guy who will commit and give you want you want.
Anonymous
10/24/2013 14:44
Subject: boyfriend talking about buying a bigger house -- read into this?
Anonymous wrote:OP, if you're not in an exclusive relationship, and you feel it would be "forcing" to have a conversation with him about long-term goals, then why on earth does it matter what brochures he's showing you?
You're not in a place where a long-term option is on the table.
Hint, "reading into" things, don't matter. You're adults - talk about what you want (or don't) but don't play games trying to read hidden meanings into things. Wasted energy.
^ this,
Anonymous
10/24/2013 14:41
Subject: boyfriend talking about buying a bigger house -- read into this?
OP, if you're not in an exclusive relationship, and you feel it would be "forcing" to have a conversation with him about long-term goals, then why on earth does it matter what brochures he's showing you?
You're not in a place where a long-term option is on the table.
Hint, "reading into" things, don't matter. You're adults - talk about what you want (or don't) but don't play games trying to read hidden meanings into things. Wasted energy.
You're not in a place where a long-term option is on the table.
Hint, "reading into" things, don't matter. You're adults - talk about what you want (or don't) but don't play games trying to read hidden meanings into things. Wasted energy.
Anonymous
10/24/2013 14:34
Subject: boyfriend talking about buying a bigger house -- read into this?
This relationship does not sound healthy.
In real life, mr big types do not transform into good husbands. They just keep stringing women along.
If you can't have a convo about where this relationship is going, you should start seeing other people. If you have to tiptoe around issues of commitment, he's probably not the guy for you.
In real life, mr big types do not transform into good husbands. They just keep stringing women along.
If you can't have a convo about where this relationship is going, you should start seeing other people. If you have to tiptoe around issues of commitment, he's probably not the guy for you.
Anonymous
10/24/2013 14:22
Subject: boyfriend talking about buying a bigger house -- read into this?
Anonymous wrote:OP here: I'm definitely not going along house-hunting, and have not even really looked at the brochures he is showing me... I get the sense that I can't force a conversation on him, and have to keep some distrance so he approaches me with the conversation... In the interim, until HE asks to be exclusive explicitly, I will date other people as well as him.... Becuase I can't force a decision on him, and think that wil make me look needy.... I just wonder if showing me this house stuff is his - less direct - way of telling me something, or if he is just testing me....
Please no offense, as I am a single mom, too. How do you find the time to date? I find dating one person difficult enough!
Anonymous
10/24/2013 14:06
Subject: boyfriend talking about buying a bigger house -- read into this?
Is he trying to ask you for money? Are you well off?
Anonymous
10/24/2013 13:54
Subject: boyfriend talking about buying a bigger house -- read into this?
OP here agai - yes, I'm divorced - and he has never been married but has a kid.
Anonymous
10/24/2013 13:53
Subject: boyfriend talking about buying a bigger house -- read into this?
OP here: I'm definitely not going along house-hunting, and have not even really looked at the brochures he is showing me... I get the sense that I can't force a conversation on him, and have to keep some distrance so he approaches me with the conversation... In the interim, until HE asks to be exclusive explicitly, I will date other people as well as him.... Becuase I can't force a decision on him, and think that wil make me look needy.... I just wonder if showing me this house stuff is his - less direct - way of telling me something, or if he is just testing me....
Anonymous
10/24/2013 10:41
Subject: boyfriend talking about buying a bigger house -- read into this?
If you and he aren't in a place where you're having significant conversations about where your relationship is going, what you each want/hope/see for your future, etc... then all of the house stuff is irrelevant, except as a conversation starter for the real questions.
Anonymous
10/24/2013 09:58
Subject: boyfriend talking about buying a bigger house -- read into this?
single dad here - can't help with any insight on what he's thinking. but if you see the relationship lasting and maturing beyond where it is now, then you guys need to actually talk about the future and figure out, amongst many things, whether you're on the same page, how will the family blend, whether parenting styles are compatible, etc. - all of this before you can get involved into his desire to purchase a bigger house.
it just strikes me as odd, especially as he apparently hasn't been married (assuming you are divorced?), that with this such a significant decision, he 'wants' your input but other more fundamental issues have yet to be covered.
I say this given what you posted, assuming you guys haven't yet covered this ground.
if it were me (the roles reversed), I'd maintain my distance from providing anything more than pleasantry feedback (not input) at this stage. I would be very hesitant to go house hunting - it would definitely send the wrong message to him (we guys are literal).
it just strikes me as odd, especially as he apparently hasn't been married (assuming you are divorced?), that with this such a significant decision, he 'wants' your input but other more fundamental issues have yet to be covered.
I say this given what you posted, assuming you guys haven't yet covered this ground.
if it were me (the roles reversed), I'd maintain my distance from providing anything more than pleasantry feedback (not input) at this stage. I would be very hesitant to go house hunting - it would definitely send the wrong message to him (we guys are literal).
Anonymous
10/24/2013 09:51
Subject: boyfriend talking about buying a bigger house -- read into this?
Ask him what's up. You need to be able to ask this, right? Otherwise, you don't have the kind of relationship you should have with someone you would marry.
Anonymous
10/24/2013 09:51
Subject: boyfriend talking about buying a bigger house -- read into this?
I would take it an an indication that he is considering it, but by no means is definitely committed to the idea.
Anonymous
10/24/2013 09:50
Subject: boyfriend talking about buying a bigger house -- read into this?
I'm a single mom dating a single dad for just over a year, we split up because he didn't want to be exclusive with anyone, but then are back together.... we have young kids the same age adn he knows i would like a blended family some day......and now boyfriend, who is a Mr. Big type, is showing me all sorts of brochures for houses, is going house-hunting for a bigger house, and is asking me for my opinion on this all..... I'm wondering if my mr. big is just playing games stringing me along with the talk of a bigger house, trying to give me the implicit hope about the bigger house "meaning" something -- but am playing it off as ift his house is just for him, that I'm never expecting that he'd want me to live there, etc.... but he says things abotu whether he thinks i would like the neighborhood or not, etc....
So my question is: should i read into this prospective shopping as meaning he is considering the notion of a blended family after all? or is he just stringing me along with the hope that some day he'll want to settle down and make a commitment - he's late 40s for what its worth, never married before....
So my question is: should i read into this prospective shopping as meaning he is considering the notion of a blended family after all? or is he just stringing me along with the hope that some day he'll want to settle down and make a commitment - he's late 40s for what its worth, never married before....