Anonymous wrote:Was your marriage arranged? I know several women with your background also in bad marriages. I am sorry and I hope you find a way out.

I know that 50% of American marriages end in divorce, and these are not arranged marriage.

If you are in a bad marriage, then leave. If nothing else, take charge of your reproductive health and do not have kids with this man.

Sorry about your situation. In the old days, widows were ill treated by other relatives and had no economic power and thus having a living husband was a preferable state for women.

Traditions have to change with changing times as well as with your own situation. I fasted today for a long and happy married life for both DH and myself. I did not have to do this fast ...because this is something I pray for each and every day. We treat each other with courtesy and kindness everyday and so it is easy for me to continue to want love and support from this man.

Sounds like you hate your DH. Get a divorce.

Is your DH Indian? Was he surprised that you didn't partake in the trandition? How did he react? Anyway, it's kind of like when our wedding anniversary rolled around and we are supposed to celebrate, but you get to the point when you're in a miserable marriage, the day just passes like the other days. The asshat didn't even bother to do anything. Nothing. It's sends a cold and clear message. Question for you OP: what are you gonna do about it?

Sorry, OP - hope you can call a friend to vent... Divorce?

Sorry you're married to a jerk. On the plus side, you sound really cool to me.

So sorry, OP. It sounds miserable. I hope things change for the better.

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry your husband is an asshole.

I was raised Muslim, and never really understood the point of fasting during Ramadan. My time would be better spent having the energy to be a good, decent human being and spending my time helping others, rather than hungry and tired and crabby. Then again I'm not one for tradition. "Traditions" were all made by people. Why do those people in the past, dictate the present or the future?

I don't know much about the Hindu festival you mention, but it sounds like a sucky tradition. It sounds like it was made up as another way to subjugate women/wives. Fuck that shit.

Another Muslim here and I agree.

OP: If you were my friend, I'd buy you a drink...or many. If you didn't drink, I'd provide you with a mild sedative. God Bless.

I'm sorry your husband is an asshole.

I was raised Muslim, and never really understood the point of fasting during Ramadan. My time would be better spent having the energy to be a good, decent human being and spending my time helping others, rather than hungry and tired and crabby. Then again I'm not one for tradition. "Traditions" were all made by people. Why do those people in the past, dictate the present or the future?

I don't know much about the Hindu festival you mention, but it sounds like a sucky tradition. It sounds like it was made up as another way to subjugate women/wives. Fuck that shit.

I'm very sorry, dear. Truly, I am. I will pray that somehow, things get better for you. Sending a hug to you through my computer screen right now.

Was your marriage arranged? I know several women with your background also in bad marriages. I am sorry and I hope you find a way out.

Wow. How sexist.

That sucks

Today is a Hindu festival where married women fast for the long lives of their husband. It's a day steeped in tradition, women bonding and merriment. Women eat nothing all day and then, after seeing the moon at night, break the fast by taking the first bite of food from their husband's hands. Families get together, women great dressed up (often in their bridal gear) and it's loads of fun.

Except when you are married to asshole. I didn't fast. I didn't get together with any friends or family. I didn't wear any special sari or jewelry. I have no reason to fast for his long life when he makes mine miserable.

That's all.

Oh and some enlightened husbands do all so fast for their wife's long life. I didn't get one of those guys either.