Anonymous wrote:Op again-her texts also said things like "happy Sunday, good looking-call me" or "I'm eating waffles and thinking of you" and "I really need to talk" at 10pm at night etc etc She's gross. I feel so angry she thought this would be ok. Ugh.

I'm sorry- but your husband should have shut her down long ago!!!! Ridic. That was disrespectful to you

If she's that bad, your husband is probably relieved you said something so that he doesn't have to deal with her anymore. He'd have to be brain dead not to realize that she had crossed the line of appropriate behavior.

*reestablish

Anonymous wrote:Op here-thanks all. Does the fact that I know this woman and have met her kids change your view? I've never found her to be a comforting presence in my husbands life but had just brushed her to the side until this last month. Her texts were crass, flirty, needy. My husband loves to coach people through personal crisis so somewhere in the middle of it, this turned into something ugly. From the texts I saw, my dh never flirted back. One example is that she wanted him to go out for her birthday so he said "lll check with boss and let you know" to which she responded "I'm the boss". Another example is her texting something about her jeans getting tight because of her boyfriend, sundaes--"the only craving I can satisfy these days". It is disgusting to me and even though we know her, it burned me up. Still fair?

Divorce is hell. It is at best an emotional roller coaster. She's vulnerable and probably not making good choices. With any luck it's a temporary state of lack of character. Your husband did the right thing by pulling away. Everything is good. Hopefully, she will figure her way through this and come out the other side healthier. Then, if you want, reeks tabling casual contact. But for now there is no need to enable bad behavior.

Op again-her texts also said things like "happy Sunday, good looking-call me" or "I'm eating waffles and thinking of you" and "I really need to talk" at 10pm at night etc etc She's gross. I feel so angry she thought this would be ok. Ugh.

Even worse!

Op here-thanks all. Does the fact that I know this woman and have met her kids change your view? I've never found her to be a comforting presence in my husbands life but had just brushed her to the side until this last month. Her texts were crass, flirty, needy. My husband loves to coach people through personal crisis so somewhere in the middle of it, this turned into something ugly. From the texts I saw, my dh never flirted back. One example is that she wanted him to go out for her birthday so he said "lll check with boss and let you know" to which she responded "I'm the boss". Another example is her texting something about her jeans getting tight because of her boyfriend, sundaes--"the only craving I can satisfy these days". It is disgusting to me and even though we know her, it burned me up. Still fair?

Anonymous wrote:Married men and women shouldn't discuss marital troubles or other romantic issues with members of the opposite gender.

And they should never be in the same room without a chaperone either.

yep, sounds like he realized it was a bad idea to let it continue and he did the right thing. you sound open and empathetic enough that he won't resent you. good for you.

Married men and women shouldn't discuss marital troubles or other romantic issues with members of the opposite gender.

Anonymous wrote:She crossed the line. He did he right thing. You shouldn't feel bad for one second.

+1

You did the right thing and your marriage seems strong.

She sounds like trouble. Cut her off. No way would I act that way with a married male colleague. She needs to complain to her sisters, cousins, and girlfriends. And if she doesn't have any girlfriends, you know she's trouble.

She crossed the line. He did he right thing. You shouldn't feel bad for one second.

My Dh has been counseling an old colleague of his through her divorce. However, I noticed that her texts started getting flirty, were full of sexual innuendos and her pleas for him to call her because of the fight she "just had with her husband" were getting to be too needy. I told my dh that she was making me uncomfortable and that I felt like she had crossed the line. I was not expecting that his reaction would be to tell this woman to end all contact but that's what he did. My dh is very much a black and white guy-- he doesn't see the grey. However, now I am wondering if his reaction is going to make him resent me. I have no issues with him being friends with females and he's friends with tons of them but none cross the line by playing the damsel in distress like this "home wrecker" did. I'm glad she is out of the picture but I don't want this to come haunt me. I don't really have a question. Just looking for insight/reassurance. We have been married for 9years and have two little girls.