Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they don't have it then they don't have it, what are you going to do about it? It doesn't seem like they are on board at all and you can't make assumptions about their cash flow based on what you think they are worth and what their house is worth. This is a meaningless post.

Hmmm, so equitable support of aging parents between siblings is a meaningless topic? I would feel very put out if my sister didn't help out as our parents aged and needed support, whatever the form. They could offer to chip in over time, if the big check is unavailable now, I think?

They don't have the money, end of story. Just because you FEEL that they should have it doesn't really mean anything and doesn't help anyone. If you want to give your grandparents a cash gift towards the purchase of a vehicle of their choosing or towards some other debt then do so on your own without the expectation that others will follow suit.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Not much savings b/c a) both laid off in their 50s. You know the drill. b) paid private school tuition for their daughters. There life has been giving of themselves for their kids; their house is old and not fancy and their car was ten years old.

Only looking at new cars b/c a) used car prices at historic highs b) used cars will have more maintenance and less reliability, and they are older and often driving grand kids, and so reliability is key and c) bigger car like accord to fit 3 car seats in back.

From these reactions, I guess I am in the minority of giving money to family. But do most people have the availability of the money, or am I wrong there too!

this is simply untrue. given the situation it is simply unwise to buy a $20K car.

How is it not possible that major maintenance will be closer on horizon with a used car with 36k miles on it when at the very least you have many components that are timed to be replaced at fixed mile ages?

And to realize any savings for buying used, you need to get a 5 or 6 yr old car, and there will just be more issues at that age. Trend in pricing has just started to turn around where used can make sense but by no means a no brainer.

http://m.cbsnews.com/storysynopsis.rbml?pageType=moneywatch&catid=57587534&feed_id=76&videofeed=43

At that income all our spare money goes into retirememt and college to preserve tax efficiency. We could (just) swing it out of emergency funds, but it would clean us out of cash. It would take 5-6 months to replenish, and I'd be loathe to do that for a car while financing is still relatively cheap.

Agree they need a used car.

Yes, I could and would come up with the money. That said, what exactly do you want us to say? They say they can't - you can't force them. Either you pay for it all yourself, or pay a higher percentage. Not sure what the alternative is.

Anonymous wrote:If they don't have it then they don't have it, what are you going to do about it? It doesn't seem like they are on board at all and you can't make assumptions about their cash flow based on what you think they are worth and what their house is worth. This is a meaningless post.

Hmmm, so equitable support of aging parents between siblings is a meaningless topic? I would feel very put out if my sister didn't help out as our parents aged and needed support, whatever the form. They could offer to chip in over time, if the big check is unavailable now, I think?

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Not much savings b/c a) both laid off in their 50s. You know the drill. b) paid private school tuition for their daughters. There life has been giving of themselves for their kids; their house is old and not fancy and their car was ten years old.

Only looking at new cars b/c a) used car prices at historic highs b) used cars will have more maintenance and less reliability, and they are older and often driving grand kids, and so reliability is key and c) bigger car like accord to fit 3 car seats in back.

From these reactions, I guess I am in the minority of giving money to family. But do most people have the availability of the money, or am I wrong there too!

this is simply untrue. given the situation it is simply unwise to buy a $20K car.

If they don't have it then they don't have it, what are you going to do about it? It doesn't seem like they are on board at all and you can't make assumptions about their cash flow based on what you think they are worth and what their house is worth. This is a meaningless post.

To clarify they live in very suburban area not on East coast. routinely drive 40 miles to where grand kids live. Car is necessity and public transit not realistic option.

OP here. Not much savings b/c a) both laid off in their 50s. You know the drill. b) paid private school tuition for their daughters. There life has been giving of themselves for their kids; their house is old and not fancy and their car was ten years old.

Only looking at new cars b/c a) used car prices at historic highs b) used cars will have more maintenance and less reliability, and they are older and often driving grand kids, and so reliability is key and c) bigger car like accord to fit 3 car seats in back.

From these reactions, I guess I am in the minority of giving money to family. But do most people have the availability of the money, or am I wrong there too!

Why aren't your parents looking at a used car?

I could easily come up with 10k and would be willing to LOAN any time. But I don't see a car as a necessity, not in this area at least.

But 99% of my DC friends couldn't come up with that kind of money. Living here is expensive. Plus, most have money tied up in investments and not liquid.

Of course they could come up with 10k. I bet 99 percent of people at that level of wealth have 5 percent of their annual income accessible somewhere.

Why can't your parents get themselves a new car?

Why aren't you looking at used cars for maybe 10k instead of a new car for 20k?

DH and I both have lovely parents, but I would balk at spending 10k to get either set a car. More of a self sufficiency standpoint than money standpoint. I think a lot of it would depend on why the parents don't have their own savings (and this would be hard since I feel like retirees have lots more savings than working people), did the parents help out their kids earlier on?

I think most people in their situation could, but maybe they really cannot. It doesn't really matter if we think they could.

Can you give the full $20k or help them finance the rest? Or find a cheaper used car?

We have a situation where one of our parents need to get a new car unexpectedly and due to no fault on their own. Basic Camry or Accord looks around 20k, so siblings each putting in 10k to help out parents. And these are amazing grandparents, they help with kids, stayed home to care for them with babies, etc.

We happen to have 10k available in checking b/c we are house hunting so keep cash on had for that. But other sibling is balking, saying that they don't have 10k available to help grandparents. My spouse and I are a little at odds over if this a legitimate issue or if they are perhaps holding back.

So here's the demographic and let us know if most folks could put together 10k in short order.
1) HHI 200k+
2) Home value $1m, bought 2001 and with help from their millionaire in-laws for DP
3) 3 kids, but no child are expenses b/c of family help (including grandparents who need the money for car)

So, I feel that most folks who fit this mold could put together check for 1% of their home value without much issue. My spouse thinks this is a lot lot of money and most folks couldn't swing it. I am not bothered by the siblings response; suspect their is some family dynamic there between husband and wife that complicates things, maybe all money tied up in long term investments, who knows.