She's old. She's tired.
Just be glad she's here and try to ameliorate whatever is causing her not to sleep well (don't let your kids or dogs slaw around, etc)

OP here.
Thank you for your support and understanding. Didn't really expect it, wasn't sure i made much sense.
Of course she didn't sleep well and is still complaining etc
Now i know am not alone.
Thank you.

OP - were you with me last Christmas at Dulles? This is like my life - sorry you have to go thru this too.

The first thing my MIL said after getting out of customs at Dulles was "Never again!", almost in tears (due to a snow delay at CDG). Not hello, so glad to see you - nothing. It was a harbringer of the rest of the vacation....

We had so been looking forward to their trip and they are so damn childish and picky when they have come here from the UK, we don't even bring it up anymore since we know they hate flying and hate being in foreign places (with foreign foods) and not in their little village. And each time someone asked them about their trip, they went into this long winded spiel about CDG and the snow, 3 hr delay blah blah.

They aren't even that old - only 65 and 70 but act like they are 90.

You have my sympathies, it really deflates you after doing all the vacation planning to make sure things are nice for them.

Dulles is the worst. i wanted to chop my own head off after standing in line for hours with a toddler.

My mom is absolutely awesome as a mom & grandma and doesn't ruffle easily but a long airport line could make her tired and cranky. Heck, it could make me that way. We're not even talking international...I was ready to fly off on my broom after a 10 hour airport delay once, I get it. Hopefully that's all it was.

My mom, who I also don't get along with very well (hard to admit, isn't it), is coming to stay with us for the entire winter. She is crabby and a constant negative nelly. I feel for you OP and am hoping you (and I) make it throught this without blowing our lid.

She'll feel better after a night of sleep and a good shower, I'll bet.

Travel is tiring, and standing in line at Dulles for hours at the passport control is exhausting!

Let it go just because of that. Your parents may take several days to get over their fatigue. Hopefully it will only get better from there!

I totally understand how you feel. We are in a similar situation and 2 weeks is absolutely the maximum I can stay with my mother under the same roof.

After every vacation, my Dad says it will be the last one. Then he gets back his energy and wants to go again. Give her time. Traveling overseas is grueling, especially for someone who hasn't done it before. How old is your mother?

assuming that her poor attitude was the result of a long day of travel and that she generally is pessimistic i can totally understand your frustration. my mom is negative about everyone and everything. and if you even remotely suggest that she is negative or doesn't like something she acts like you are totally crazy and she never said that, she doesn't think that, etc.
i have yet to find a good solution. i tend to just distance myself from her because i can't have that constant negativity in my life.

also, just because this is her personality doesn't mean she doesn't truly love you. she loves you in her own way, it just may not be the way you wish she had/does.

The bit about the lack of a phone call after the flight landed sounds like she was just looking for something to complain about. Why couldn't she have called you if she wanted to speak?

I agree the rest of her comments are probably just the product of exhaustion from the trip. I love traveling but hate the actual travel part, and I am always cranky after a 20 hour trip with no sleep and jet lag. I understand, though, that whatever the reason for her comments, they are hurtful for you. And I'm sorry for that. I hope her perspective will be different and her mood a little lighter in a few days after she's gotten some rest.

I'm sorry Op. hopefully she'll be nicer after a good rest.

It was the stress and jet lag talking. She loves you but maybe doesn't't know how to express it.

I think it is very normal to be tired after a long overseas flight. Especially if you are old, it is rough.
I do think it was a kill joy of her to say she's not coming again, but whatever, what can you do.
Honestly I feel like death for at least a day or two flying to or from Europe or Latin America etc

My parents live in Europe. We moved here a year ago. They came at Christmas, we went there at Spring Break, now they are here for 3 weeks. I don't like my mom very much but I think about the whole family, my dad, my kids and I think overall it is a good thing we have been able to see them that much.
They are not used to flying at all so yes it is tiring and they had a long flight with some smallish nightmare at CDG stopover.
So I was at Dulles for waiting for them to come out for over one hour, kids (7 and 4) super excited etc. I see my mom come out and she displays to me that face that means 'I am tired, it is a long journey etc'. OK they say hello to me and the kids etc. and then she says she thought I would call her while they were in the luggage and customs areas. I say it crossed my mind but I thought there was no reception there (at least at customs) and that they were about to come out anyway and a call would cost her money. She goes on and on about how there is reception and everybody else was on their phones.
We get in the car and she says she is tired, she does not think she will be coming again.

As I said this is a vent, I am not sure where I am getting to. But I am disappointed that her perspective does not show to her that it is tiring and there is jetlag etc but that it is worth it, to see her grandkids, a new country for her, whatever. She always has to have this pessimistic view on things. Everything is too much, too annoying, too tiring.
I feel sad for my kids, who feel so excited she is here.
I guess I feel sad for myself too, how different my life would have been if my mum truly loved me.

This is disgruntled, sorry, I know.