Try to focus on whether she's a great teacher who engages your son and fosters his love of learning. That's what really matters, here. Or it should be.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - I don't see her everyday so I don't know if she shows off her tatoos at school. I do know one of them might be kind of hard to hide. I also know that she wears that nose piercing everyday.

I think that talking to my kid about my views on the inappropriateness of his teacher is not a good idea. I think that it is important to his success that I appear to be supportive of her. Regardless of my views, DC needs to respect her.

I don't insist that people conform to my values. I'm not going to insist anything in this case. I just think it is poor judgment on her part and on the school.

She is not some random person that DC sees out and about. She is his teacher. Someone there to teach him academics and how to behave in the world. She is one of his primary role models. I just wonder if we should expect more since she has been given this role.

Exactly. She is there to teach him academics and how to behave in the world. What do her tattoos and piercing have to do with either?

Well, tattoos and piercings are anti-social and professional, so setting aside the distraction part of it, it also conveys a message that they're somewhat acceptable in polite society when, in fact, they will directly interfere with career advancement later in life if the child emulates the teacher. So, I do understand OP's issues.

You simply don't see tatoos in the board room.

One of my best teachers, and probably the one that had the biggest impact on me growing up (in 7th grade) had a nose ring. Without her help and guidance, I'm not really sure where I'd be right now.

Being supportive of your teacher and her abiltity to teach your child has nothing to do with your familes values.

This is a teachable moment. Show your kid that you support your teacher even if you do not like everything she does.

Anonymous wrote:OP here - I don't see her everyday so I don't know if she shows off her tatoos at school. I do know one of them might be kind of hard to hide. I also know that she wears that nose piercing everyday.

I think that talking to my kid about my views on the inappropriateness of his teacher is not a good idea. I think that it is important to his success that I appear to be supportive of her. Regardless of my views, DC needs to respect her.

I don't insist that people conform to my values. I'm not going to insist anything in this case. I just think it is poor judgment on her part and on the school.

She is not some random person that DC sees out and about. She is his teacher. Someone there to teach him academics and how to behave in the world. She is one of his primary role models. I just wonder if we should expect more since she has been given this role.

Exactly. She is there to teach him academics and how to behave in the world. What do her tattoos and piercing have to do with either?

What do you consider "showing off," OP? A cropped shirt and low-rise jeans, so her tramp stamp is visible? An extra deep v-neck shirt to show off a boob tat?

I have a feeling that "showing off" is considered to be any clothing where a tattoo is visible at all.

Unless they are explicit or badly spelled (worrying for a teacher), you should look at the school's policy and then get over yourself.

-41yo with no tattoos

Anonymous wrote:I was at DC's school at an open house and one of the teachers was wearing a dress that showed off her large tatoos. She also has a pierced nose. As tatoos go, I think hers are tasteful. They are more the spiritual kind than the biker chick kind, although I can see them as being acceptable to both groups. The nose jewelry is small and unobtrusive, but it is still clearly there.

While I want to be open minded about this sort of thing, I have decided for a variety of reasons that I am uncomfortable with her flaunting these things around DC. I'm also having a hard time understanding why she thinks that it is acceptable for her to be so openly showing off her tatoos to the parents. I guess at a basic, fundamental level, I think it is pretty unprofessional. No one I work with would come to the job showing off their large tatoos in that way. Why is it supposed to be acceptable for school where I send my young child? I also worry that my kids will interpret this to mean that these things are mainstream and acceptable for them to do to themselves. Even worse, they think that this is too mainstream so they go out and do something more outrageous - like the tribal stuff I see kids doing to their ear lobes. Horror!

The real ironic thing is that while she is fine with showing off her tatoos and piercings at work, and I can only assume she thinks we should all be fine with it as well, she announces the policy that the school doesn't celebrate Halloween - but calls it an autumn festival or some crap like that. Maybe it is just me, but I think having my kid think its normal to get large tatoos and a pierced nose is more harmful than whatever the beef is these days with Halloween.

I don't plan to do anything about this lest I subject my kid to the potential for any retribution. Just thought I see if others have the same reaction.

Shouldn't we be expecting more from the people who are privileged to be in positions that enable them to serve as role models for our kids?

You know, I think you'd be much happier living in, say, Utah or Kansas. You are going to have a rough 13 years ahead of you trying to protect your children from outside forces.

OP here - I don't see her everyday so I don't know if she shows off her tatoos at school. I do know one of them might be kind of hard to hide. I also know that she wears that nose piercing everyday.

I think that talking to my kid about my views on the inappropriateness of his teacher is not a good idea. I think that it is important to his success that I appear to be supportive of her. Regardless of my views, DC needs to respect her.

I don't insist that people conform to my values. I'm not going to insist anything in this case. I just think it is poor judgment on her part and on the school.

She is not some random person that DC sees out and about. She is his teacher. Someone there to teach him academics and how to behave in the world. She is one of his primary role models. I just wonder if we should expect more since she has been given this role.

It doesn't bother me. Some people think some things are appropriate, and some people think those same things aren't appropriate.

DD and I have had lots of talks about how what's okay for one person (Poptarts for breakfast! Watching the VMA's! Little girls wearing high heels!) is not okay for another person.

While I want to be open minded about this sort of thing, I have decided for a variety of reasons that I am uncomfortable with her flaunting these things around DC. I'm also having a hard time understanding why she thinks that it is acceptable for her to be so openly showing off her tatoos to the parents. I guess at a basic, fundamental level, I think it is pretty unprofessional. No one I work with would come to the job showing off their large tatoos in that way. Why is it supposed to be acceptable for school where I send my young child? I also worry that my kids will interpret this to mean that these things are mainstream and acceptable for them to do to themselves. Even worse, they think that this is too mainstream so they go out and do something more outrageous - like the tribal stuff I see kids doing to their ear lobes. Horror!

I'm in my 20s, and I think people born after 1980 have laxer ideas about tattoos and piercings than older people. For people who work in laxer atmospheres regarding appearance than the cooperate world (i.e. tech, most science jobs especially in academia, journalism) there is less of an expectation to dress professional manner and more of an emphasis on doing your job well. Education seems to be this way too; I have spent significant amounts of time working with teachers and students at the undergraduate and K-12 level. Teachers and professors can come teach wearing pretty casual clothes that would not be appropriate at an office--i.e. jeans, t-shirts, sandals, sneakers. I personally would not have an issue with a teacher who had tattoos and piercings as long as they were a good teacher and respectful to my child. I think it is a generational and cultural shift towards being more casual.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you know that she was "showing off" and "flaunting" her tattoos and piercings? As opposed to going about her daily business, fully-clothed, with tattoos and piercings?

If you disapprove of tattoos and piercings, and you don't want your kid to get them, then here is a strategy that might be successful: talking to your kid about your opinions about tattoos and piercings.

And here is a strategy that won't be successful: insisting that other people must conform to your opinions because your kid might see them.

+1

Perfectly said. Simmer down now. Your kids will be exposed to all sorts of things much worse than tattoos and piercings on a teacher.

Anonymous wrote:How do you know that she was "showing off" and "flaunting" her tattoos and piercings? As opposed to going about her daily business, fully-clothed, with tattoos and piercings?

If you disapprove of tattoos and piercings, and you don't want your kid to get them, then here is a strategy that might be successful: talking to your kid about your opinions about tattoos and piercings.

And here is a strategy that won't be successful: insisting that other people must conform to your opinions because your kid might see them.

+1

I'm a teacher who took out her nose ring when I began teaching. It's what I found to be appropriate at the time. It was ten years ago.

How do you know that she was "showing off" and "flaunting" her tattoos and piercings? As opposed to going about her daily business, fully-clothed, with tattoos and piercings?

If you disapprove of tattoos and piercings, and you don't want your kid to get them, then here is a strategy that might be successful: talking to your kid about your opinions about tattoos and piercings.

And here is a strategy that won't be successful: insisting that other people must conform to your opinions because your kid might see them.

I was at DC's school at an open house and one of the teachers was wearing a dress that showed off her large tatoos. She also has a pierced nose. As tatoos go, I think hers are tasteful. They are more the spiritual kind than the biker chick kind, although I can see them as being acceptable to both groups. The nose jewelry is small and unobtrusive, but it is still clearly there.

While I want to be open minded about this sort of thing, I have decided for a variety of reasons that I am uncomfortable with her flaunting these things around DC. I'm also having a hard time understanding why she thinks that it is acceptable for her to be so openly showing off her tatoos to the parents. I guess at a basic, fundamental level, I think it is pretty unprofessional. No one I work with would come to the job showing off their large tatoos in that way. Why is it supposed to be acceptable for school where I send my young child? I also worry that my kids will interpret this to mean that these things are mainstream and acceptable for them to do to themselves. Even worse, they think that this is too mainstream so they go out and do something more outrageous - like the tribal stuff I see kids doing to their ear lobes. Horror!

The real ironic thing is that while she is fine with showing off her tatoos and piercings at work, and I can only assume she thinks we should all be fine with it as well, she announces the policy that the school doesn't celebrate Halloween - but calls it an autumn festival or some crap like that. Maybe it is just me, but I think having my kid think its normal to get large tatoos and a pierced nose is more harmful than whatever the beef is these days with Halloween.

I don't plan to do anything about this lest I subject my kid to the potential for any retribution. Just thought I see if others have the same reaction.

Shouldn't we be expecting more from the people who are privileged to be in positions that enable them to serve as role models for our kids?