Middle child here. The family joke is that one pic of me at 1,5, and 11. Honestly, not a big deal. My sisters and I have always had very different relationships with our mom. I don't think it really bothered any of us. I remember once wailing when I was younger that mom didn't "love us the same." Answer: "I love you equally, but of course I don't love you all the same. You're different people." In fact, it's a nice affirmation that we were people, with varied personalities. A little off topic but hopefully helps with big picture of keeping everything the same for siblings. If you're thinking worried about making them feel sufficiently loved, you're probably doing a good job.

What are you doing for Thanksgiving? Have the "party" then, with your family. Have a cake and takes lots of pictures. I think that's what's really important--not so much whether or not you had the same event, but that you acknowledged the importance of each child's first birthday, and took pictures to memorialize it.

Can you do the party a week early, before you move? Or delay it. Or, have a small party at a venue outside the house. Don't feel guilty! You're doing the best you can

Anonymous wrote:Also you could delay the party a few weeks if you wanted, she has no idea when her actual birthday is yet!

Yes, this.

Also you could delay the party a few weeks if you wanted, she has no idea when her actual birthday is yet!

Make sure there's a photo of the kid with the cake at least!

Op here...thank you previous poster...knowing others have dealt with this makes the guilt a little less

Anonymous wrote:No guilt. I feel so badly when I see parents trying to do the same thing for each child. Please don't do it, OP. Each child is different, has different gifts and different needs. Have a nice meal and some cake. And congratulations on your parenting path.

Said the favored oldest child

In this case, I think it is fine, she is one. She won't know

I struggled with the same guilt. I decided to go small for DC2's first bday and, you know what, I enjoyed it so much more!!! I got to spend quality time with my kids and the close friends we invited. I wasn't running around trying to do a million things at once. I just enjoyed the day.

Your little one is going to have a great time. You should go with the smaller party so you can enjoy it with them!

She's turning 1. She won't know the difference if there are 15 people starring at her as she smears cake on her face or just the 4 of you.

But if do decide to invite people over, I am sure they will understand about the unpacked boxes and all the other moving stuff that comes with the territory.
We've all been there. In fact, I was 8.5 months pregnant at closing and the baby arrived literally 4 days later. People came for visiting and they all shared stories about their moving adventures and mishaps.

I agree with you all but the stress factor comes with we are having a crap load of furniture and appliances delivered along with the move...some of which we can not guarantee at this time will have actually arrived by the time the birthday would be.

Would you have done a party five or six days after you moved? It just seems like a recipie for stress related panic attacks.

Either way, I guess it doesn't really matter. It's not like people will be there forever we can improvise I guess.

No guilt. I feel so badly when I see parents trying to do the same thing for each child. Please don't do it, OP. Each child is different, has different gifts and different needs. Have a nice meal and some cake. And congratulations on your parenting path.

Why not have a 1st birthday party/housewarming party?

Make a huge party as house warning and birthday. Why not? We did it.

Our second is turning 1 right around Thanksgiving, if that's not hectic enough, we'll also be moving into a new home days before that. Our first had a full blown party at our home and it was such much fun, but also a lot of work and a lot of clean up.

I don't particularly want to invite a bunch of people to our home when we've just moved in, but I also feel very bad that her sister had a big
party...just feels like the start of the "I never get what my sister gets fight."

Any suggestions on what I can do to make this special for our little one? Should I suck it up and have a gathering out our newly moved into home or should I let go of guilt?? What to do instead?

Thanks!!