Anonymous wrote:I think you can do it for even cheaper. Find a cheaper venue (community center), rent it for the evening and get a DJ/MC combo, a catered buffet, not sit-down (taco bar, etc.). Some kind of games for entertainment (skee ball, foosball, basketball games). Printed t-shirts for giveaways at the end. The kids seem to have a wonderful time no matter how fancy or not. My DD's been to about 15 over the past year, all different, all fun. Probably the one constant thing is the DJ/MC and dancing.

Great ideas! The taco bar is a fantastic idea. Those who are kosher can have either a meat or a dairy taco bar. No biggy.

Anonymous wrote:My DSs bday is in July. I'm sending him to Ramah Canada. They do a beautiful morning service next to the lake and his whole division will attend. I'm allowed to invite upto 60 additional people. I think the cost is around $1500. The focus is soley in becoming a bar mitzvah with people who get what it means. The reception is a brunch and the invited guests can stay for the weekend. I'm very much looking forward to this.

This sounds amazing! I would love this for my family!

Anonymous wrote:I think you can do it for even cheaper. Find a cheaper venue (community center), rent it for the evening and get a DJ/MC combo, a catered buffet, not sit-down (taco bar, etc.). Some kind of games for entertainment (skee ball, foosball, basketball games). Printed t-shirts for giveaways at the end. The kids seem to have a wonderful time no matter how fancy or not. My DD's been to about 15 over the past year, all different, all fun. Probably the one constant thing is the DJ/MC and dancing.

You must not be jewish. TACOS? Are you KIDDING? Meat and dairy, hello!

Anonymous wrote:My DSs bday is in July. I'm sending him to Ramah Canada. They do a beautiful morning service next to the lake and his whole division will attend. I'm allowed to invite upto 60 additional people. I think the cost is around $1500. The focus is soley in becoming a bar mitzvah with people who get what it means. The reception is a brunch and the invited guests can stay for the weekend. I'm very much looking forward to this.

That sounds beautiful.

My DSs bday is in July. I'm sending him to Ramah Canada. They do a beautiful morning service next to the lake and his whole division will attend. I'm allowed to invite upto 60 additional people. I think the cost is around $1500. The focus is soley in becoming a bar mitzvah with people who get what it means. The reception is a brunch and the invited guests can stay for the weekend. I'm very much looking forward to this.

I think you can do it for even cheaper. Find a cheaper venue (community center), rent it for the evening and get a DJ/MC combo, a catered buffet, not sit-down (taco bar, etc.). Some kind of games for entertainment (skee ball, foosball, basketball games). Printed t-shirts for giveaways at the end. The kids seem to have a wonderful time no matter how fancy or not. My DD's been to about 15 over the past year, all different, all fun. Probably the one constant thing is the DJ/MC and dancing.

We spent about $12 or 13k - and we had a smaller than typical party. I agree, it's insane.

My son's Bar Mitzvah is 5 years away and I'm already dreading it. Even if I had the money I wouldn't spend upwards of 30K for the event. I'm actually hoping for a small celebration and a family trip to Israel.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OT but if you are very poor and cannot afford a BM party, what happens? Does the community help plan and pay for one?

You don't have to have a party. The service is the important part and synagogues provide dues assistance for those who cannot afford them. People only hear about the extravagant parties, not about the simple celebrations. There is nothing wrong with the fancy parties but people who can't do it shouldn't feel that they have to.

+1. One should never go into debt for a bar/bat mitzvah. Don't feel like you have to host a weekend of festivities, either.

Good Lord, my wedding wasn't this expensive. Is this what is required to fit in? My kids go to a public school with mainly kids that aren't Jewish so I'm hoping this isn't the norm for their circle.

Anonymous wrote:OT but if you are very poor and cannot afford a BM party, what happens? Does the community help plan and pay for one?

You don't have to have a party. The service is the important part and synagogues provide dues assistance for those who cannot afford them. People only hear about the extravagant parties, not about the simple celebrations. There is nothing wrong with the fancy parties but people who can't do it shouldn't feel that they have to.

OT but if you are very poor and cannot afford a BM party, what happens? Does the community help plan and pay for one?

PP here the 120 break down was about 80 family members including children and 40 from Hebrew School/regular school

DJ or Band? DJ -- 1800, this included him MCing and like all the plastic crap tween like, sunglasses, glowsticks etc.
Other entertainment (e.g., photo booth, airbrushed shirts, etc.)? Photo Booth --1000

Sit down menu or buffet? Hors d'oeuvres? What did you serve? Buffet
Did your room cost extra or was it included with the food? Included
Did you have to pay for table clothes, tables, or chairs (or anything else in this category)? Included
We had her reception at a hotel in the evening and the total check amount was about about $15000 for a reception for 120 people

Centerpieces? What were they? We did a mix of hydrangeas (cheap), dahlias and tulips 2000
Transportation to hotel from temple to hotel to reception to hotel- 1000
Photographer - 3000
Videographer - 2000
"Take away" personalized gifts - about 1500

This was a VERY BIG DEAL for both sides of our family. We had the funds so we splurged some.

How many adults and how many children?
DJ or Band?
Other entertainment (e.g., photo booth, airbrushed shirts, etc.)?
Sit down menu or buffet? Hors d'oeuvres? What did you serve?
Did your room cost extra or was it included with the food?
Did you have to pay for table clothes, tables, or chairs (or anything else in this category)?
Centerpieces? What were they?
Did you have any other miscellaneous expenses? What were they? (Anything I am forgetting to ask about)

I'm starting to plan my kid's BM and was interested in learning what others have spent. I realize that we are all coming from different economic means, but I find it interesting to know what others have spent. I'm not necessarily interested in the price for each individual item but, rather, specifically, what you had at your event and the overall cost. If you feel inclined to provide the cost breakdown that would be very informative, but I realize that could be a PITA and hard to remember.

Thanks for participating!