I asked the husband the name of the restaurants that they like to get takeout/delivery. I sent a card with gift cards to Chinese/Chipotle/Starbucks.

My thoughts are with your family during this very difficult time.

(it does not matter that you are young and a woman)

The problem is everyone is different. About half of all males and close to that in females will have some type of cancer. (Almost all 80 yo men will have prostate cancer, for example.)

I was diagnosed last year. I am the worker in the family. My colleagues know that I get moody/anxious before my scans (who wouldn't?), and they can tell when I am not feeling well. And they stop me from doing things I shouldn't be doing, like climbing under the desks to check on the wiring.

FWIW, my cancer has had multiple surgeries (major), but no chemo, so I have not had the full cancer experience.

With that said, what helps me the most is to know that, at times, people are thinking of him/her.

I would offer to help the boss out with anything you can so he can take the time to attend appointments and care for her. I would not worry about a gift or a card.

Anonymous wrote:OP here - it's a serious cancer. Is the wife going to think that it's weird that one of her husbands young employees is writing to her?

Do I say I'm praying for her? Thinking of her (but I've never met her!)? Wishing her good health?

I'd just say something like, Dear Jean, On Friday Scott told me a bit about what you're going through. I know we've never met, but please know that you're in my thoughts, and I am wishing strength and health. All the best, Larla.

Anonymous wrote:OP here - it's a serious cancer. Is the wife going to think that it's weird that one of her husbands young employees is writing to her?

Do I say I'm praying for her? Thinking of her (but I've never met her!)? Wishing her good health?

When I'm not sure how religious someone is I just say I'm keeping them in my thoughts.

Anonymous wrote:Can you spearhead something thoughtful and include other coworkers?

+1

Can you spearhead something thoughtful and include other coworkers?

OP here - it's a serious cancer. Is the wife going to think that it's weird that one of her husbands young employees is writing to her?

Do I say I'm praying for her? Thinking of her (but I've never met her!)? Wishing her good health?

As a prior poster said, it can be anything. I had a cancerous mole removed and I overheard my husband telling a friend that I was diagnosed as cancer. I had to give him a big talk about what that implies and how he can properly explain what happened to me so people get the right image in their heads and don't make it a bigger deal than it was.

If she has what my friend calls "chemo cancer" complete with losing hair and everything, then maybe a pair of cashmere socks or a cashmere hat would be nice. If it's skin cancer, no need to pull out anything big.

Yes to the wife and ask the husband if there is anything to do to help This is the cancer patient

I had a neighbor I did not know very well. I sent her some ice cream because her throat hurt. I got such positive feedback.
Maybe put together a bag with candy, hair stuff, nail polish.....a book.....

Not sure, but my first thought is that a cancer diagnosis can mean a lot of different things, depending on the circumstances. I would not send anything like flowers or fruit basket, but I would try to find a time to say something like, "I'm glad you told me and I am here to do whatever I can to help - extra shifts, maybe handling some of your meetings for you, whatever you need. Just let me know."

Thanks, pp, should I send a note to the wife? From me?

I have cancer and a nice note with anything small would be so appreciated trust me

What is appropriate?
In the 7 years I've worked there, he has never brought her to a work function, so I don't know her personally. I asked him if they needed anything and he said they have it all covered.
Just wish there was some way to reach out and help...
I thought about a fruit basket or flowers - just seems odd since I don't actually know the woman - or even her name...