Anonymous wrote:Use your discretion, but I do think it is important for kids to learn that they sometimes have to do things that don't interest them. Otherwise I really believe it is setting them up for failure later in life.

That is different than setting a kid up for failure, telling him he is a failure and then expecting him to believe in himself.

He should be given an appropriate amount of homework so he can be successful and build on that. By middle school/HS he will be able to handle more and more and more. This builds self esteem and good work habits without demoralizing his spirit.

Anonymous wrote:Tread carefully. You need to teach your child work habits. If he's coming in with unfinished HW and everyone isn't, he's going to stand out and internalize that.

The suggestions about setting a timer and prioritizing work are good starters.

By the time he's in older elementary, he could develop a case of learned helplessness. By the time they get to middle school, HW is not busy work and kids need to do it to keep up with the class.

Of course every kid is different but I agree with this. My DC learned early on that homework was going to take 2x as long as most other kids. That's continued right through HS. We also found that it was a good way to make sure DC really understood what was being taught in the classroom.

I think there's a number of posters who kids don't have IEPs/SNs. Homework for our kids isn't usually just a case of making them put their nose to the grindstone. It's far more complex and requires a collaborative, consistent approach with the school so that the child learns to do what is needed and develops good study habits and strategies. The challenges you're having now are just a harbinger of what's to come.

You need to contact the teacher, explain the issues you're having with homework and come up with a plan. Since K, homework has been an issue for my oldest (ADHD/MERLD/hypotonia/anxiety). IN first grade, after a particular difficult night, I emailed his teachers (general and special ed) and basically todl them I was at my wits end. His teacher's response was that I should let homework become a battle, it just wasn't worth it. Together, we came up with a plan of how much time DS should spend on homework (as a PP noted, using a timer and no more than 10 minutes per grade level). If DS didn't finish it at home, he would finish it in class when the rest of the kids had 'free time' (time to choose what activity they did).

DH and I also changed the homework schedule. DS just isn't capable of doing homework after school. He's not. He's spent. He's done. We do it in the mornings when he's fresh. It's made a world of difference. We also have no screen time during the week so it's not as if he's just vegging in front of the TV after school. He walks the dog, plays Legos and then usually reads before bed. Everyone's quality of life has gotten much better, he's doing his homework but, more importantly, he's learning how to plan to get his work done and when the best time to do it is. These are things he needs to know about himself and which doesn't come naturally to him.

Use your discretion, but I do think it is important for kids to learn that they sometimes have to do things that don't interest them. Otherwise I really believe it is setting them up for failure later in life.

Anonymous wrote:Most homework these days is busywork and a waste of time. For elementary school, the most important (and usually the only important) homework is reading.

As a parent, with or without an IEP, with or without a disability, you have every right to limit the amount of homework that your child does.

It took me witnessing my child having a panic attack (while doing page upon page of math problems) that I realized how ridiculous the situation had become.

Research actually supports this. OP, I'd use your discretion. Yes, teach him good study habits but don't extinguish the love of learning with overkill.

If your child has an IEP, homework can be handled in there. Most of it is busywork. We kept the reading, and some math pracice -- but only about 15 to 18 problems and any projects, and ditched the rest.

Anonymous wrote:Tread carefully. You need to teach your child work habits. If he's coming in with unfinished HW and everyone isn't, he's going to stand out and internalize that.

The suggestions about setting a timer and prioritizing work are good starters.

By the time he's in older elementary, he could develop a case of learned helplessness. By the time they get to middle school, HW is not busy work and kids need to do it to keep up with the class.

This. Take the long view. You presumably want your SN child mainstreamed, right? Homework and study habits and attempts at organization/planning are part and parcel of school.

Given your child's disabilities, modification of HW assignments seems appropriate. But. Throwing up your hands and announcing you're not even going to give it a shot -- so you can instead focus on sports ?! -- would be bad precedent

Tread carefully. You need to teach your child work habits. If he's coming in with unfinished HW and everyone isn't, he's going to stand out and internalize that.

The suggestions about setting a timer and prioritizing work are good starters.

By the time he's in older elementary, he could develop a case of learned helplessness. By the time they get to middle school, HW is not busy work and kids need to do it to keep up with the class.

Most homework these days is busywork and a waste of time. For elementary school, the most important (and usually the only important) homework is reading.

As a parent, with or without an IEP, with or without a disability, you have every right to limit the amount of homework that your child does.

It took me witnessing my child having a panic attack (while doing page upon page of math problems) that I realized how ridiculous the situation had become.

Being the parent of HS and MS kids I will say that there is great value forming good habits now. My strategy was to had a homework IEP goal. Each day the teacher would specially assign my sons homework. We communicated regularly regarding how it was going and if it was too much. But whatever the teacher sent home had to be done.

In our IEPs, we've indicated that homework is challenging for us because our kids are exhausted physically and mentally by the time they get home. We are happy to reinforce concepts learned in school but there comes a point where there is no return on the effort and we're not willing to sacrifice our relationship with our kids to push it needlessly. We spend more than 10 minutes per grade level on homework (meaning the kids have to be ready and working when the timer starts). We allow them to take breaks but if they do, the timer stops. Whatever they get done, gets turned in. It allows the teacher to see how much they're able to to and how well. Our kids like to read and they do a lot on the weekends but I don't require them to read during the week.

Anonymous wrote:Mine's in 1st and I'm making him do his homework. They get a packet that they get on Monday and have to turn in on Friday. DS has been tested up the wazoo including neuropsych testing and there is no reason he shouldn't be able to do it so I feel it's my job to make sure he does it.

If you feel that there is a reason due to your child's disability that he cannot do his homework, I would put it in his IEP.

I feel the same way even though I agree with your sentiment, OP (or with your expression of exhaustion). I don't think that the homework has any academic merit and it takes a lot of work on my end but I think that there is value in creating some study habits from early on. I also want my son to take responsibility for his school work and the couple of times he has pushed back really hard, I have always said, "Okay, don't do it. But you have to explain why to your teacher yourself" and luckily this has been enough--or maybe his anxiety is greater than his distaste for it! I guess I am fortunate that, despite the grumbles (and the ADHD), my second grader hasn't really pushed back too hard.

I am also going into 2nd grade. Last year I would quit homework after 20 minutes. Worksheets like wordfinds or word scrambles(which I think have no value) I just wrote a note saying, "we spent enough time on this an didn't finish" It isn't like homework counts towards their grades.

Do the one worksheet (the one of value) and spelling and then call it quits. Tell the teacher (in writing) that you will be spending 30 minutes a day, and focused on getting quality work and you might not finish it.

Mine's in 1st and I'm making him do his homework. They get a packet that they get on Monday and have to turn in on Friday. DS has been tested up the wazoo including neuropsych testing and there is no reason he shouldn't be able to do it so I feel it's my job to make sure he does it.

If you feel that there is a reason due to your child's disability that he cannot do his homework, I would put it in his IEP.

Sigh - two weeks in and I'm dreading the next 9 months. His 2nd grade teacher expects 20-40 minutes of homework a day. I really don't think he has it in him, for a variety of reasons (some delays, personality, emotional issues, etc.). One worksheet and a few minutes practicing spelling is fine. Reading for fun (him or me) is fine. But 10-20 minutes of writing and another 20 minutes of reading required books that he may or may not be interested in isn't going to happen, and I refuse to spend the next 9 months fighting and yelling at him to get him to do it, especially when I know its not right or useful for him. What do I do - make my own decision about what he should or should not do? I'm already spread thin trying to make things okay in the classroom and in extracurriculars for him - I don't have the energy to fight with the school over homework too.