Sorry hit send too soon.
I tend to agree with the pps and proceed according to the time set. Dinner at 7pm means dinner at 7pm. A noon sightseeing trip really does start at noon. If the tardy person/people miss our that their misfortune.
The world doesn't stop just because they can't or won't get their ish together.
Have your holiday dinner as planned, OP. Maybe your brother will make it for dessert.

I chuckled when I read your post because we treat my chronicly late dad the same way. Now have several adult siblings who have the same time issues. While most of the family waits for the tardy folks I tend to agree with

Anonymous wrote:I am not Jewish but that has no regard to offering advice here.

YOU are hosting a dinner, YOU set the time and YOU have no obligation to change that. People need to accommodate themselves around your dinner not vice versa.

Remember he who excuses himself accuses himself...make no apologies and say the time is set and be firm. It is not fair to your or your other guests. Best of luck.

OP here. Thanks. Time is set for 6:30. I never tell my brother the "real" time because is routinely up to 2 hours late (at times just not showing up and never contacting us). I told him between 5:30 and 6 knowing he would most likely show up between 6:30 and 7. The girlfriend is going to get an unfortunate eye opener about how my brother regards family (he would never do this to a client or a friend--just immediate and all extended family).

Do save a plate for the girlfriend, however. It's not her fault he's putting her in this situation, and she should at least get to eat!

I am not Jewish but that has no regard to offering advice here.

YOU are hosting a dinner, YOU set the time and YOU have no obligation to change that. People need to accommodate themselves around your dinner not vice versa.

Remember he who excuses himself accuses himself...make no apologies and say the time is set and be firm. It is not fair to your or your other guests. Best of luck.

So when he's telling you how much you suck, I'd ask "If you think we're so beneath you, why don't you go spend the holiday with others who are more worthy of your company? There's the door. Bye bye now."

Don't put up with this shit.

The OP has children. I think inviting people over for dinner at 6PM for the Holy Days is appropriate. 8PM with children is not reasonable. THe Holy Days are about being a family. Feeding the children 1st to accomodate brother so his latest girlfriend can be there is not required.

Dinner at 530?
That's pretty early.
Why do you get to decided when the dinner is? Why shouldn't your brother have input?

So, it wouldn't be a big deal to move the dinner time, but you just want to be mean to him because you think it will teach him not to be mean to others?

You're not very smart and you are definitely not nice.

OP here: I do not do what my brother wants. I'm annoyed once again at his gall at asking. We (as a family) have already dealt with this with my BIL who refuses to leave work early for any family related event EVER. We eat when we want and he eats when he gets there (usually alone) or we pack him food to take home. My brother has issues with the family and frequently goes away and does not contact us. He blames my parents for everything that ever went wrong in his life (he has always done this). He (when he speaks with us) talks constantly about himself and his accomplishments and tells us to our faces we are simply not as smart as he is (actually he calls us stupid and beneath him). Mind you we all have advanced degrees. He can't hold onto a relationship because once they see his nasty side they leave. We do not ever go after him to be a part of things. We often go without speaking for a year or more. I know he feels like he wants family. However, when you treat people badly, in my book you are not worth the time of day. He is also mean to my children (so we have limited contact because I refuse to have my children witness any of what my brother does).

So, dinner is at 6 (I know I told him 5:30--and I know he really wants 8 pm). He will be late (and be late with the new girlfriend who will be embarrassed I'm sure). To bad. There will be many others at this dinner and my brother is not the only one who counts (of course he doesn't think so).

Done venting. Thanks.

My aunt is like this with my mother. Just demands things, then gets frightfully huffy if things don't go her way. Of course my mother lets her steamroll all over her.

Have the dinner at a time you are comfortable with. Stick to this time. Start eating even if he doesn't show up on time. Be all smiles. Leave the table and get the kids off to bed even if he is still eating.

In short, get on with your life.

So...don't move the time. "Sorry, Brother -- can't move the time. But we'd love to get together with your GF soon!"

He thinks the world revolves around him because you spin it around him. Stop it.

Save her from oming, then, and keep the original time. YOUR world revolves around him only if you let it.

and he always has. Latest issue is next week holiday dinner. He wants to bring new girlfriend and her kid. No idea if they are Jewish or not (at this point I don't care actually--a dinner is a dinner is a dinner with regard to my brother). So he asks what time dinner is. I tell him probably 5:30 (knowing that he is always 30 minutes to 2 hours late to everything family related--and before I knew about said new girlfriend). He just texted me back that I have to move the time for dinner b/c girlfriend works and can't make it. So I invite him and he tells me no he can't make the time I say and I have to move things to accommodate him and said new girlfriend (note: my brother doesn't keep girlfriends because he is not a nice person and as soon as they see the real him they bolt fast)--not that has anything to do with dinner.)