I sympathize with the fact that you looked forward to a close relationship with your sister and children, and that you resent that her apparent thoughtlessness over her dogs' behavior has brought a stop to all this.

My best friend and I were always in and out of each others' houses, until she and her husband decided to get a HUGE dog. More like a 90 lbs calf, with a nuclear bark, and a badly-behaved habit of putting her saucer-sized paws on your chest and lick your face. She pushes and licks my toddler's face aggressively the rare times she can get at her, and what does my friend do? Coos at her lovingly to stop.
My friend just. does. not. get. it.
This is after I repeatedly explained that her dog should not be in my toddler's face like this.

We cannot go to her house anymore, and I feel sad that my family has been "displaced" my their inability to control their dog.

So many people do not understand how to train dogs, it's worrying.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like you got the raw end of the deal as far as reciprocity for childcare but feeling like you've thousands because of it is just weird.

Also, why doesn't she watch your kids at your house?

It is just odd, visiting and staying out in the driveway.
It is not so much the money, as much as it is the parade of strangers coming through our house to babysit.
Also, she will not come to my house to babysit, which is understandable since it can be a whole day affair.

Not much you can do about any of it, unfortunately. But perhaps you can recoup a little babysitting by asking her to watch your children at your house when you need someone for shorter hours-- like an evening date with DH, shopping/errands for a couple of hours in the afternoon, etc. Even that little bit of help will make your life a bit easier and that should ease some of your resentment. IMO, addressing the resentment is the key issue because this is your sister. The most important thing is a good relationship with her.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe you should be more concerned about getting your kids under control than about your sister's dogs. They never listen and your son provokes pandemonium? Sounds like great parenting.

her kids are the same, we put up with each other's kids.

Just because her kids are the same it doesn't mean you don't need to work on your parenting skills. Instead of putting up with each other's kids you could try changing your parenting style to help your children become better listeners and help your son find a more acceptable way of drumming up attention.

Is OP real?

Anonymous wrote:OP here, the other issue is that we live relatively close together and I always hoped that my kids would be in and out of her house. I guess it is no different than someone owning a ton of guns, or having porn scatterd about the house, making guests uncomfortable. Anything that makes visiting uncomfortable is just that annoying.

I think it is more than annoying. It seems unsafe. I would just make other childcare arrangements.

OP here, the other issue is that we live relatively close together and I always hoped that my kids would be in and out of her house. I guess it is no different than someone owning a ton of guns, or having porn scatterd about the house, making guests uncomfortable. Anything that makes visiting uncomfortable is just that annoying.

I wouldn't allow my kids to be there, especially if I wasn't. Sorry, but you are going to have to pay for childcare.

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, honey. This is all on you. Your sister does not owe you thousands of dollars worth of babysitting. You had the children and should've thought about child care costs.

Where are you sister's children? Aren't they getting bit by the dog? Did the dog really come over to you and bite you or are you just scared of dogs. I can't imagine not going to a doctor or hospital after the dog attack. And don't even lie and say you did bc then it would've been reported to the county.

My guess is that you are hysterical around all dogs. The dog probably came running out of the room to see the new person in his house. You screamed and ran and of course the dog chased you bc he wants to smell you, be pet by you, etc.

If I'm mistaken and he really attacked you then you should report it and not let your kids over there. Your sister is not going to dump her boyfriend so she can babysit your kids. Entitled much?

This is silly, we have had dogs all our lives. We had a doberman for years.

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like you got the raw end of the deal as far as reciprocity for childcare but feeling like you've thousands because of it is just weird.

Also, why doesn't she watch your kids at your house?

It is just odd, visiting and staying out in the driveway.
It is not so much the money, as much as it is the parade of strangers coming through our house to babysit.
Also, she will not come to my house to babysit, which is understandable since it can be a whole day affair.

Sorry, honey. This is all on you. Your sister does not owe you thousands of dollars worth of babysitting. You had the children and should've thought about child care costs.

Where are you sister's children? Aren't they getting bit by the dog? Did the dog really come over to you and bite you or are you just scared of dogs. I can't imagine not going to a doctor or hospital after the dog attack. And don't even lie and say you did bc then it would've been reported to the county.

My guess is that you are hysterical around all dogs. The dog probably came running out of the room to see the new person in his house. You screamed and ran and of course the dog chased you bc he wants to smell you, be pet by you, etc.

If I'm mistaken and he really attacked you then you should report it and not let your kids over there. Your sister is not going to dump her boyfriend so she can babysit your kids. Entitled much?

Anonymous wrote:Maybe you should be more concerned about getting your kids under control than about your sister's dogs. They never listen and your son provokes pandemonium? Sounds like great parenting.

her kids are the same, we put up with each other's kids.

Maybe you should be more concerned about getting your kids under control than about your sister's dogs. They never listen and your son provokes pandemonium? Sounds like great parenting.

It sounds like you got the raw end of the deal as far as reciprocity for childcare but feeling like you've thousands because of it is just weird.

Also, why doesn't she watch your kids at your house?

Your sil does not owe you changing her life around just so she can save you money by providing free childcare.

She had two pit bulls, now has one.
We kept our kids away from the house when she had the first one and said to ourselves, that when it dies, we would be able to go over. Bring in a new boyfriend who is not the most responsible, he buys a new pit bull puppy. We were sad because we knew that we would have to wait that one out. Sis is not in love with the dogs, but was talked into them. Dog #2 has attacked me and bitten me.
That said, we feel that it is a dangerous place for our kids who don't always think and never listen. DS has a way of provoking pandemonium.
We took care of her kids for endless hours when they were young, and now, as we have young children, we hoped that she would reciprocate with care. She offers, but we have to decline, and we tell her that it is because of the dog(s). She always says that she will put it away, but someone always forgets and it gets out (that is how I got bitten).
This is just really a rant since we have spend thousands on childcare because of this one issue, frustrating.