I had a pretty mean and controlling FIL, former army colonel. My ex husband was scared of him, at 35 was still calling him "daddy." I refused to allow him to treat me like crap so I gave him a piece of my mind in front of the whole family one thanksgiving and from that point on he went out of his way to treat me like gold. My ex husband was pretty much emotionally destroyed by his father and wouldn't attend family counseling with me to work on our marriage so I had to divorce him.

OP, don't allow FIL or anyone else for that matter to disrespect you.

Call him out on it in the moment, when DH isn't there. You can be nice while you say it but tell him to cut the crap.

If he's at your place, tell him he's mean and to please leave. He can come back when he can be nice. Forget your DH. This is between you and FIL. He will always do his thing when your DH isn't around. Passive-Aggressives must be called out immediately. You are on to him. Now be a big girl. And just ignore the wonderful daughter comments. Change the subject. Or if it's appropriate agree with him (as long as it doesn't belittle you, obviously).

Anonymous wrote:FIL is very talented at being a jerk when DH isn't within earshot.

And what does your husband say/do.when you tell him about it?

FIL is very talented at being a jerk when DH isn't within earshot.

Anonymous wrote:And where is your DH when his father is telling you all this?

Hiding. That's what cowards do.

And where is your DH when his father is telling you all this?

Sing it, sister. Let it out.

Avoid contact with assholes. Problem solved!

"Yeah, I'm a wonderful DIL for the exact same reason."

Kicks you when your down, favors his daughter over everyone including his wife, and makes sure to let me know what a crappy mother I am to his grandchildren. Also attributes all their wonderful qualities to his superior gentetics. Except for our youngest with special needs who is "all DIL" according to him. He also tells me that the reason my kids are so well behaved is because I was blessed with perfect kids, and that his daughter was cursed with rascals and the reason she hasn't killed them is because she is a wonderful mother.