Are you Jewish? When our family dog died, my mother took me to the temple where the rabbi read a special mourner's kiddish for pets. We light a yartzeit candle on the anniversary of her death each year.

PP here. Sorry, I meant to type this:

You might benefit from bereavement therapy. I think you're trying to find validation in your grief, but I'm not sure if that's as healthy for you as finding another way to step forward. I'm sure your pet would have wanted you happy and not being sad all this time.

You might benefit from therapy. It's not about your pet as much anymore. It might be about your inability to let go.

Do you have trouble letting go with other things/people?

My pet died 4 years ago this week. My cat was with me through the most stressful, hectic, life changing moments and I'm not the only family member who misses her. She was 18 and it was her time to go; she lived a long happy life and died on her own terms in my arms. I've just donated to the cause her pet sitter supports, who took care of her the last few weeks of her life during the day while we were at work. I've talked to my spouse. We really have moved on, but I can't seem to help this paralyzing sadness where she's all I can think about, staying up at night, just mourning her. I would like something to 'do' -- some activity. I have her ashes near my bed so there's no special place to visit now, I can't write her a letter as that seems silly not comforting...ideas?