Anonymous wrote:I came home from work one day and ex told me he is leaving and already had a apartment and was on match looking for his next woman. We had a separation agreement within 2 weeks because he did not want custody, scheduled visitation, or, the house and was willing to pay what the state would require for child support. Took a little time to iron out issues like who pays for insurance, college etc. he didn't hire a lawyer so I paid for all the drafting. Btw, 4 months later he is still looking for a woman. My atty said we were unusually fast.

He sounds like a douchebag and he did you a favor. However, I suspect he will want back in when he can't either find someone (although I am always amazed that there is usually some woman desperate enough to want the loser) or gets dumped. Good luck.

What are people's experiences with parenting schedules for a teen (junior in HS)? STBXH wants 50-50, but since he's never been involved in the day-to-day raising of the kid, travels a huge amount, and besides they are not close, that seems a stretch. Any suggestions for a schedule that allows the dad to feel he's not totally out of it but protects kids likely desire to stay w/ mom most of the time?

I came home from work one day and ex told me he is leaving and already had a apartment and was on match looking for his next woman. We had a separation agreement within 2 weeks because he did not want custody, scheduled visitation, or, the house and was willing to pay what the state would require for child support. Took a little time to iron out issues like who pays for insurance, college etc. he didn't hire a lawyer so I paid for all the drafting. Btw, 4 months later he is still looking for a woman. My atty said we were unusually fast.

12:11 Joint custody that works often depends on parents' work schedules ... it's very individual. When my child was younger, splitting the week worked best. We did 4/3. We live near each other. I know some people like 2-2-3 but for some, like my child, it was too many transitions.

22:16 not sure that's the case in VA, MD or DC.

I am going through this right now too. In my case, I am planning to move out (I'm the wife). But as my current job contract ends in December, I am looking for another job before moving. It feels like there are many moving pieces to the puzzle, and it's hard to know what piece to move first.

Does anyone have joint custody experience? I am looking for scenarios that work for people.

Yes. Right now he is waiting for a seperation agreement before moving out. Technically it could be considered abandonment if he moves out and he would loose claim on the house.

OP, you're waiting for the separation (parenting?) agreement before one of you moves out, is that right? Can you tell me your thinking - am going through this right now. STBXH may go before we get an agreement, and I don't see an agreement coming fast.

Until the seperation agreement is filed? Well that depends on you two. When my first marriage ended it took over a year after I moved out (which was two months after I asked for the divorce - we were working opposite shifts which made it easier) the exW and her lawyer kept changing terms and then seemed to get upset when I agreed to all of it. (No kids, no real assets at the time, basically married too young) The part I never told her was my lawyer was being paid through a union benefit and hers she was paying for. So it was costing her an arm and a leg to change a word or two the didn't really amount to much and not costing me a cent.

How long should I expect this time to last?

Act like roommates

I think you just acknowledge that is going to be a very stressful time in your time, and try to get support, treat yourself well, and cut yourself and your STBX some slack. And if you really believe that you'll have the separation done soon, that is a great thing and I would focus on the light at the end of the tunnel.

Do you have any advice for this awkward time? It seems like its likely to drag out another month or two. Thank you!