There's a difference between direct and rude. My mother has become quite rude at times to family--about appearances, eating habits, choice of dress. She's better with friends.
For me, it depends on the time of the month. The week before my period, the rage builds up and I have no patience with those closest to me. "Fine, whatever," is the best I can do. I try to be aware of it and head it off at the pass, but it's very hard. it's almost a physical need to be snarky/passive aggressive/angry, especially with small children. Stupid example: my girls like to set up a pretend restaurant for their dolls. I have said, "not with real food--here's play dough" or fake plastic veggies but they sometimes still dip into the fruit bowl and take something (whic sometimes I find, moldy, in a bedroom corner). Depending on the time of the month I either say, "I told you, "NO PLAYING WITH REAL FOOD!" or I totally lose it.
Definitely worse since I turned 50.

Anonymous wrote:No. I have learned it is better to be direct. Life is much happier as a result, both for me and everyone around me.

Me too.

My goal as I age is to be real.

Authenticity is everything for me know, and I seek people who are real.

I've always been passive aggressive and I think I've gotten better as I've gotten older. I really let things go a lot more these days cause I just don't have the time or mental energy to dwell on things like I used to. I'm also much more blunt about things - get it out and move on.

Anonymous wrote:The opposite. I've gotten much blunter; some may say ruder. I call it like it is.

Me too. No filters.

No. I have learned it is better to be direct. Life is much happier as a result, both for me and everyone around me.

I'm seriously impressed with this thread. No sugar-coating the issue, just facing it head on. When people aren't afraid to acknowledge and talk about their issues, we all benefit. Kudos to you, OP, and to PPs who responded. There are some disheartening threads on this forum, but this one balances them out.

Anonymous wrote:Once I got through the moody, angry nightmare of perimenopause, I came out on the other side far calmer with people than I'd ever been before. Things that used to ruffle my feathers just make me laugh and shrug now. It's glorious, and I have more power over difficult people because I can act more than I react now.

I was never the passive-aggressive type at all, and am not now. I do deal with passive-aggressive people better, though, since they get no reaction from me.

Please, please tell me when that is going to end! I'm driving myself and my entire family crazy.

Once I got through the moody, angry nightmare of perimenopause, I came out on the other side far calmer with people than I'd ever been before. Things that used to ruffle my feathers just make me laugh and shrug now. It's glorious, and I have more power over difficult people because I can act more than I react now.

I was never the passive-aggressive type at all, and am not now. I do deal with passive-aggressive people better, though, since they get no reaction from me.

me: better

MIL: far, far worse

No . . . not at all. If anything I've become more light hearted. Small issues bother me less. The result has been I have far fewer negative reactions either active or passive. Age has had a calming effect on me. It's good . . . the fifties are the best decade of our lives. We've moved beyond the rat race to some extent, we've gained control over our egos, and we are still in good health.

Don't smoke, drink to excess, eat a healthy diet, get a bit of exercise and these will be the the best days of your life.

The opposite. I've gotten much blunter; some may say ruder. I call it like it is.

Pp here. Sorry for some reason I thought you were asking about my parents, not myself. I don't think I am really passive aggressive. Less patient with adults though.

I can't tell if it is their age or my kids. Say stuff like, "we'll I guess you don't want us here". I ignore it and they stop but it never ends.

Yep, I'm a little more negative too but not bad. Sigh.