Anonymous wrote:If you don't climb the ladder when opportunities become available - you'll be left behind and ultimately dependent on others for your professional survival. You may be comfortable today in this family-friendly workplace, but eventually you will be passed over by younger employees who are unlikely to be paternal towards you.

You may become vulnerable and dependent on the kindness of supervisors who won't understand why if a person was good at their job; they were never promoted.

If they were promoted over you, it will be difficult for them to fully respect you. If you are to survive in the workplace you need to seek and take promotions when your time has come.

One way or another, spoken or unspoken the concept of "up or out" still exists in almost every workplace.

I don't think this is true.

I've discussed this with friends, covering the government sector, nonprofit/nongovt. sector and private sector (but NOT law firms). In each one, there are people who didn't pursue promotions (especially those involving managing other people) and actually ended up just fine.

As long as you do your job well, maintain good relationships with coworkers/managers, I don't think people get punished or sacked because they don't pursue promotion. And between close friends and I, we know of several people like this. I have some coworkers like this. They liked what they did, stayed in that job and had outside interests, such as family. No problem. In fact, in some cases, they were valued more b/c the boss knew he could rely on them (i.e. they weren't going to hop ship any time soon).

What I have seen, though, are people who pursued promotions because they wanted the prestige or money, but they couldn't hack it (either because they just weren't cut out for it or because of other responsibilities, like family), but they found it difficult to return to the job they had before, the one they liked. And in some cases, they ended up leaving the promotion for a job that paid less than the job they had before the promotion.

The moral of the story is don't pursue a promotion because you feel that is what is expected. Only pursue it if that is what you want for your career and your life and if you're willing to really do it well. If you are happy with the job you have and the work-life balance you have, then don't feel bad about staying with that.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Additional factors I should have mentioned:
This is in the DC government. Not exactly an "up or out" environment. Employees have job security, and managers are at-will (can be fired for no reason). I would report to someone who is extremely difficult to work with.

Yikes, then I would stay put

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Additional factors I should have mentioned:
This is in the DC government. Not exactly an "up or out" environment. Employees have job security, and managers are at-will (can be fired for no reason). I would report to someone who is extremely difficult to work with.

Regardless of the hours, reporting to a nightmare boss isn't worth an extra $10K. Frankly, I don't think the extra hours are worth the extra $10K either. Your toddler won't be a toddler forever and you can always try to climb the career ladder later, when he's older and you feel ready. It's obvious your heart isn't in it now, so don't beat yourself up for staying on the mommy track at this point in your life.

FWIW, I've been in a job that sounds similar to yours except it's with the fed for the last 8 years. Any promotions would equal more hours and more bureaucratic details to deal (which I hate) for a minimal amount of extra pay. When you factor in the taxes and extra child care, it would probably equal less pay. I've beat myself up so many times over not feeling like I was living up to my potential and being ambitious enough, however, in my heart, I know I made the right decision for myself and my family.

OP here. Additional factors I should have mentioned:
This is in the DC government. Not exactly an "up or out" environment. Employees have job security, and managers are at-will (can be fired for no reason). I would report to someone who is extremely difficult to work with.

Lean In, baby, Lean In

As "the boss", you set the tone.

Always ask for a promo!

What if you Stay put in your current position and get a new boss who is not family-friendly and you wind up working longer hours and have more stress anyway? That would be my concern.

I applied for a promotion right after coming back from maternity leave. I was on the fence, but decided to go for it. My hours got better! With fewer people to report to, my schedule is more flexible.

^^^That is why working sucks. It's not enough to simply enjoy what you're doing and excel at it.

If you don't climb the ladder when opportunities become available - you'll be left behind and ultimately dependent on others for your professional survival. You may be comfortable today in this family-friendly workplace, but eventually you will be passed over by younger employees who are unlikely to be paternal towards you.

You may become vulnerable and dependent on the kindness of supervisors who won't understand why if a person was good at their job; they were never promoted.

If they were promoted over you, it will be difficult for them to fully respect you. If you are to survive in the workplace you need to seek and take promotions when your time has come.

One way or another, spoken or unspoken the concept of "up or out" still exists in almost every workplace.

Anonymous wrote:My boss is leaving, and I think I would have a good shot at her job if I applied for it, but I don't think I want it. It would only be about 10k more than I make now, and a lot more stress. I work a 40 hour a week now and can always leave at 5, which is important to me. I have a toddler and don't want to spend any more time away from him. But I feel like I'm being lazy, like I "should" want to get ahead. I guess I'm looking for reassurance that it's ok not to want to get into management in favor of keeping my family-friendly position, but if this is really dumb, please tell me! Thanks.

There's nothing wrong with not wanting to climb the ladder.

Promotions and opportunities like this are few and far inbetween. I'd go for it, especially due to the possible regret factor down the road.

Agree with PP. Does the "lot more hours" have to do with the job itself, or how your old boss managed the job? An effective manager will delegate and get things done within the time frame they choose. If a new person takes that role, it is possible that they may manage more efficiently, thus pushing more of the work to YOU, their subordinate, and thus your life will become more stressful anyway!!

I say go for it.

Anonymous wrote:My boss is leaving, and I think I would have a good shot at her job if I applied for it, but I don't think I want it. It would only be about 10k more than I make now, and a lot more stress. I work a 40 hour a week now and can always leave at 5, which is important to me. I have a toddler and don't want to spend any more time away from him. But I feel like I'm being lazy, like I "should" want to get ahead. I guess I'm looking for reassurance that it's ok not to want to get into management in favor of keeping my family-friendly position, but if this is really dumb, please tell me! Thanks.

In a couple of years you will have an elementary school-aged kid. Will you kick yourself then for having passed up the opportunity?

Not being snarky, genuinely asking. I got promoted right after I had a kid and the hours/stress sucked, but I ended up making a ton more money than I would have otherwise (company got bought out and in my new position I qualified for serious stock options)--which has actually been great for our family--and now I'm glad I slogged through because the new company hardly ever promotes people. Your situation probably isn't exactly the same, but it's hard to predict the future.

Also, if you're the boss, can you help make that position more family-friendly? I still left at 5 every day after I was promoted, I just went in earlier in the morning.

My boss is leaving, and I think I would have a good shot at her job if I applied for it, but I don't think I want it. It would only be about 10k more than I make now, and a lot more stress. I work a 40 hour a week now and can always leave at 5, which is important to me. I have a toddler and don't want to spend any more time away from him. But I feel like I'm being lazy, like I "should" want to get ahead. I guess I'm looking for reassurance that it's ok not to want to get into management in favor of keeping my family-friendly position, but if this is really dumb, please tell me! Thanks.