I know too much and this started as a kid. It still causes me anxiety since my parents who are well off don't manage money well. They both get pensions and SS but should be very well off and they are not. When we bought our home, we literally cashed in our piggy banks to make sure we had all of our expenses covered.

I remember the switching money from one bank to the other, the fees for bouncing checks, the order in which you pay your bills.

In laws are worse- their house has almost been foreclosed several times but it's because they didn't pay their taxes which is crazy since they have no mortgage. They blew through a TON of family money which is just sad since they have literally nothing to show for it- MIL smokes so there is always money for that.

I just hope DH and I are raising our kids differently in regards to money!

My dad is 66, completely independent (newly retired), and I am the executor of his estate. We've had several in-depth conversations about his wishes after he passes. He should have enough money to fund his retirement. I certainly hope so - I'm a single mom who lives in a high COL area and can't support him, and my siblings live in lower COL areas but don't make much.

My in-laws are pretty well-off (self-made) and I'm pretty sure they're fine, but since I'm not married to their son, it's no concern of mine. I know they will probably be able to help with my daughter's college if need be, but I don't assume.

Not as much as I would wish.
No worries as far as ILs are concerned, they are responsible folk who probably will not need financial help.
With my parents it's another story - my mother is disabled and both are incredibly secretive about their money. I wish I knew whether I should set aside money for them or advise them to save more, or not. They have always refused to talk about serious matters with me. Everything I learned about life I did not pick up at their house!

I know the general outlines of my parents' finances, especially since two years ago my father made me executor of his will, because he was worried that after he died my mother would blow through all the money he had saved, and wanted me to be able to be a bit of a backstop.

And now, 24 months after Dad told me he wanted to make that move, my mother is on hospice thanks to two fast-moving degenerative brain diseases, and will most likely be dead before the end of the year.

You just never know.

(And she even gave him the unexpected gift of falling ill in a way that his long-term care insurance has managed to almost completely cover the expenses. No nursing home draining the reserves. Plus, by the time they finished reworking the estate documents, they knew she was sick, and so that helped him structure them in a way he might not have otherwise.)

Having gone through this awful experience does mean, though, that once she is gone and I get his POA, we're going to have a lot of discussions about how things are structured in case he gets sick in a similar way and can't handle his finances or even discuss them.

^^^ My parents are in their 80's, MIL was 79. ^^^^^

I know enough. With In-laws we know because until she passed two weeks ago, BIL sent quarterly updates. He was handling her finances for the past 8 or so years. She had dementia for 18 years. I have gone over finances with my Dad several times over the years. He wants me to know where everything is the the approximate amounts. They get a federal pension and health insurance. They own their house and have $x in various investments. They do fine. He knows the rough outline of our finances too, but not he details. Nothing is a huge secret.

Don't know much about my parents other than they've planned and can take care of themselves. My ILs borrowed some initial money from us when we first got married - I know enough that we're not lending to them again and that we may need to support MIL with some small monthly stipend when she's no longer able to work. They live in a country where a few hundred a month would cover them.

I think adult children should know if their parents have enough in savings/investments to maintain their current standard of living until they die, with some basic assumptions about our economy and their health. If there isn't enough money saved (and coming in from SS and pensions), some very serious conversations are in order.

Fortunately, my parents are fine and will most likely leave significant sums to their children and grandchildren--or charities of their choice. I am extremely grateful for that.

My FIL died before he bankrupted my MIL. MIL doesn't have a lot of savings, but she has a huge pension and really good medical benefits, including long-term care insurance. She might not have earned as much as her husband, but she ended up in a much better financial position. Now we just have to worry about SIL soaking up all MIL money, but that's another tale for another time.

My parents are dead, one in law is also dead so I don't know, don't want to know.

We know quite a bit about my husband's parents' finances. That's because we financially support them. In this case, we have a right to know. In case you're interested, they have no money. They both get SS check every month and spend it on their food, toiletries, personal items, a few lottery tickets, and half their mortgage. We pay half their mortgage and all their utilities. We pay the bills directly because they simply don't have it in them to be even minimally responsible with money. They're nice people, but just don't understand how to take care of finances.

I know in very general terms that my parents are well off. I don't know specifics, and it's not my business since I have no reason to need to know right now. Most likely, I won't know more until they die. And they're in their 50's now, so I hope that's not for a long time.

Let me add, before I get blasted (although I know that will not stop anyone) that reverse mortgages have helped some old folks age in place. Not all brokers are bad, just most of them are. Not all reverse mortgage terms are bad, especially since HUD demanded some changes and required those that take out reverse mortgages get counseling beforehand. I am not sure when these changes came about, but they are more recent. But there are so many sad stories with sad endings.

I hope the reverse mortgage had decent terms. Did she take the lump sum option or a stream of payments? Many take (and are encouraged by the brokers to take) the lump sum, and then they spend it all. The whole reason for reverse mortgages is to allow old folks to age in place, but if they blow through the money, they cannot afford to stay in their home. HUD knows it needs to better regulate the industry on this, but laws have to change. It is a race to the bottom for the mortgage brokers. So many people have signed some really, really, really crappy agreements (beyond just the lump sum issue), it has been awful for so many families.... The WP real estate section had a horrible story on reverse mortgages this past week. I am sorry.

A fair bit. I'm the executrix of their estate, I've seen their will. I know the value of homes in their town and I vividly recall the day they paid it off when I was 12. They threw a party.

My ILs? I know they are rich, old family money they inherited when H's grandma died.

I think I have a "right" to know about my parents' finances when they can no longer live on their own in their home and we have to make a decision about what kind of care we can afford. Until then, couldn't care less. Their debts aren't going to be mine and they're never going to live with me, so they will do whatever stubborn self-absorbed thing they want to just like they always have. When the time comes I'll make a decision based on my finances and that will be that.

Everyone seems to agree that parents/ILs have no business knowing anything about your finances, according to the "left my trust statement out for ILs to see" thread.

So do you also feel you have no business knowing about your parents/ILs finances?

My mother has never been open about money. She once grounded me for opening the phone bill. Now she's in her 70s, and living off a reverse mortgage (which I know only because she revealed it unintentionally). The house is her only asset, and she spends money like water.

When do you think I (and her other children) have a right to know more about her financial situation? The more she spends now, the more help she'll need later. She's in perfect health and both her parents lived into their 90s.