Anonymous wrote:From reading the the Langley thread we all know that if you are not part of the majority rich your child will be shunned.

What do you do if you are faced with the opposite situation of a poor or primarily minority public school and you are white and more fortunate to have money?

Total bullshit. The posters who say this clearly did not go to the school. The kids there don't care how rich you are. I know. I went there. Kids are not as stuck up as their parents.

My DCs K class was 14 black, 8 hispanic and 5 white. We are white. The pros: my child knows a surprising amount of conversational spanish, loved our teacher, DC isnt afraid of being the minority "lots of time there are no other peach kids but i dont care bc i just like to play", we are saving money by not going private. The cons: playdates arent often. I basically asked everyone in the class at least twice and we had about 6 throughout the year. Offering to pick up and drop off definitely helps.

I am going to jump in here because many of the PPs experiences have not been ours going to MCPS Downcounty Consortium schools. My DD (mixed race Asian/white) is now in high school, and she has had friends of all races since elementary school. Thinking to her current main friends, one is Hispanic, one African American, one mixed Hispanic/white and one white, a real cross section of the school.

It's true that it was harder to set up play dates given the language barrier with parents. And *I* had the experience several times of the the moms speaking Spanish around me even though I know they knew at least passable English.

As for the SES angle, we are "poor" by DCUM standards but have more than many kids at the schools. It's worked in my favor when my DD would complain about our house being small, I'd point out a friend's one-bedroom apartment. Or I'd point out that no she didn't need two North Face jackets when many people at the school couldn't even afford one.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You go elsewhere.

I feel bad saying it, but it's the reality. Your white, wealthy kid might be ok in PreK, but even by K the other kids will make his life miserable. We had to leave a school that was great on paper, but socially horrible. Some people will remember me posting before, about the kids who invited my five-year-old "get your white ass out of here".

That's terrible.

Does this hold true with just inner city DC or do other races or cultures welcome Caucasians more ( I am thinking maybe the Hispanic population in south arlington and other primarily hispanic areas)

I really hate that the pp had that experience...
but you cannot be dumb enough to think that all black people and all hispanic people across the board will do that at any school that is primarily made up of people of color..
like all the black/hispanic people in south arlington are just the same as the people in se dc...
SHEESH!
Ask about social environment of SPECIFIC schools...

are you white

what difference does it make?
i could be purple and green striped but I know that because people share a race/ethnicity doesn't mean they share the same attitude and/or behaviour...
I know that the purple and greenstriped kids at rockville elementary may not do the same things as the purple/green striped kids at olney elementary...
Understand?
You have to ask about the environment at the specific school...

Anonymous wrote:Dunno. My kid's school was about half and half black and hispanic. Black kids hung out together, hispanic kids hung out together speaking spanish, and my white kid was excluded from both. I was told (by my kid) that the hispanic kids (when I suggested an overture to them) didn't speak English. They did; they just always switched to spanish when my kid tried to talk to them.

This happened to my kid (in FCPS). Then a group of these kids switched to saying things in Spanish, pointing at my kid and laughing. This went on for much of 1st grade and for all of 2nd grade. The teachers tried to intervene but nothing was really done. We left the school after 2nd grade.

I am a white woman and I went to a majority-black school in middle school. It was very uncomfortable at first...I spent lunch in the bathroom hiding in a stall for the first few weeks of school because I was scared of the lunchroom. The white kids stuck together for sure. Well, the white kids who "acted white" that is. Those who "acted black" hung out with the black kids. I use these phrases in quotes because they were the phrases that were used to describe kids by other kids. There was also "white people music" and "black people music", etc. My first kiss, in the 8th grade, was my black boyfriend. There was not a lot of focus on education among my peers, which had nothing to do with race and everything to do w/socio-economics. It was an environment in which being smart was not cool.

Granted, this was the late 80s in Florida, so things could be completely different here and now.

We're in this situation with our preS-er last year, and PreK this coming year.

The fat is we're not every going to really have playdates with the kids from school. But we rarely have playdates anyway.

In our case it's been a great experience and I value being a part of this community. I'm also conscious of not appearing too showy. So I make a direct connection with the teacher and tell her whatever she needs she can get from us. I work my ass off on the PTA, and I contribute cash dollars, but anonymously - only the PTA president knows how much my family put into the coffers. And I treat everyone - the other kids, the other parents - with dignity and respect. We're all after the same things, after all, just all doing the best for our kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You go elsewhere.

I feel bad saying it, but it's the reality. Your white, wealthy kid might be ok in PreK, but even by K the other kids will make his life miserable. We had to leave a school that was great on paper, but socially horrible. Some people will remember me posting before, about the kids who invited my five-year-old "get your white ass out of here".

That's terrible.

Does this hold true with just inner city DC or do other races or cultures welcome Caucasians more ( I am thinking maybe the Hispanic population in south arlington and other primarily hispanic areas)

I really hate that the pp had that experience...
but you cannot be dumb enough to think that all black people and all hispanic people across the board will do that at any school that is primarily made up of people of color..
like all the black/hispanic people in south arlington are just the same as the people in se dc...
SHEESH!
Ask about social environment of SPECIFIC schools...

are you white

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You go elsewhere.

I feel bad saying it, but it's the reality. Your white, wealthy kid might be ok in PreK, but even by K the other kids will make his life miserable. We had to leave a school that was great on paper, but socially horrible. Some people will remember me posting before, about the kids who invited my five-year-old "get your white ass out of here".

That's terrible.

Does this hold true with just inner city DC or do other races or cultures welcome Caucasians more ( I am thinking maybe the Hispanic population in south arlington and other primarily hispanic areas)

I really hate that the pp had that experience...
but you cannot be dumb enough to think that all black people and all hispanic people across the board will do that at any school that is primarily made up of people of color..
like all the black/hispanic people in south arlington are just the same as the people in se dc...
SHEESH!
Ask about social environment of SPECIFIC schools...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You go elsewhere.

I feel bad saying it, but it's the reality. Your white, wealthy kid might be ok in PreK, but even by K the other kids will make his life miserable. We had to leave a school that was great on paper, but socially horrible. Some people will remember me posting before, about the kids who invited my five-year-old "get your white ass out of here".

That's terrible.

Does this hold true with just inner city DC or do other races or cultures welcome Caucasians more ( I am thinking maybe the Hispanic population in south arlington and other primarily hispanic areas)

Dunno. My kid's school was about half and half black and hispanic. Black kids hung out together, hispanic kids hung out together speaking spanish, and my white kid was excluded from both. I was told (by my kid) that the hispanic kids (when I suggested an overture to them) didn't speak English. They did; they just always switched to spanish when my kid tried to talk to them.

Anonymous wrote:You go elsewhere.

I feel bad saying it, but it's the reality. Your white, wealthy kid might be ok in PreK, but even by K the other kids will make his life miserable. We had to leave a school that was great on paper, but socially horrible. Some people will remember me posting before, about the kids who invited my five-year-old "get your white ass out of here".

I remember this, and I remember thinking then as I do now that you are pretty much full of it, or just had really bad luck.

That is our situation at my local elementary. In my son's class this year, there were 6 out of 25 white children. Only one of those white families had more money than we do. The rest of the class was a mix of different minorities and SES.

We are in a transitional neighborhood so I imagine the numbers will shift at some point.

Maybe because it is that we are only recently so well-off, but everything seemed fine. I was glad my child did not gravitate right to the only other white children in class; the kids all seem to play together. I didn't notice any self-segregation.

Outside of school is slightly different. Many of the kids my son wanted to play with had parents who didn't speak english or who work weekend shifts and just couldn't do it.

I am not sure, even after all this babbling, though, what your question is exactly?

Anonymous wrote:You go elsewhere.

I feel bad saying it, but it's the reality. Your white, wealthy kid might be ok in PreK, but even by K the other kids will make his life miserable. We had to leave a school that was great on paper, but socially horrible. Some people will remember me posting before, about the kids who invited my five-year-old "get your white ass out of here".

That's terrible.

Does this hold true with just inner city DC or do other races or cultures welcome Caucasians more ( I am thinking maybe the Hispanic population in south arlington and other primarily hispanic areas)

You go elsewhere.

I feel bad saying it, but it's the reality. Your white, wealthy kid might be ok in PreK, but even by K the other kids will make his life miserable. We had to leave a school that was great on paper, but socially horrible. Some people will remember me posting before, about the kids who invited my five-year-old "get your white ass out of here".

From reading the the Langley thread we all know that if you are not part of the majority rich your child will be shunned.

What do you do if you are faced with the opposite situation of a poor or primarily minority public school and you are white and more fortunate to have money?