Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Call the cops on them. It's identity theft.

and elder abuse.

In many States, they WILL NOT prosecute. So frustrating. Elder abuse is aimed more at direct injury (as we have found out, sadly)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thats amazing that your sister relinquished POA voluntarily. I'm surprised. But I think this is a case of be careful what you wish for. I hope things work out for you - truly I do, now that you are holding the bag for your mom.

This will become of my DH's parents. His conniving brother WILL clean them out of hundreds of thousands of dollars, we won't get 1 penny. But I swear to god, because that's the case, I will refuse to do anything as far as setting up the parents assisted living, nursing home, etc. care. If my BIL and his shit wife are going to take them to the cleaners, they can do all the cleaning of the mess too. I have already let go of resentment over us getting zero. It will happen. And it's not fair.

You know that your husband's parents are going to be robbed, and therefore you are planning to neglect the elderly parents to punish them for being victims of their other child? Your main concern is nothing will be left for you to mooch after the robbery?

Sounds like both of their children are horrible people who married horrible people.

This may be an instance of saying something in anger, but then doing the right thing when the time comes. I'm praying my parents live a long, long life and then die peacefully in their sleep, but if anything happens to disrupt my lovely dream of 30 or so years of peace, all hell is going to break loose. My unscrupulous siblings are going to make the situation as difficult as possible, and my unscrupulous parents aren't going to help matters. I've been dreading this possibility since my 20s. The fact that parents and siblings are pretty horrible people doesn't mean I don't have an obligation to do my best to prevent or minimize the kind of horrible behavior that's unquestionably going to happen. I'm just going to have to deal with it. In the meantime, I'm praying for my parents' excellent health.

You have to keep a very close eye and provide care yourself if you want to avoid the moochers.

Anonymous wrote:Call the cops on them. It's identity theft.

and elder abuse.

Anonymous wrote:Thats amazing that your sister relinquished POA voluntarily. I'm surprised. But I think this is a case of be careful what you wish for. I hope things work out for you - truly I do, now that you are holding the bag for your mom.

This will become of my DH's parents. His conniving brother WILL clean them out of hundreds of thousands of dollars, we won't get 1 penny. But I swear to god, because that's the case, I will refuse to do anything as far as setting up the parents assisted living, nursing home, etc. care. If my BIL and his shit wife are going to take them to the cleaners, they can do all the cleaning of the mess too. I have already let go of resentment over us getting zero. It will happen. And it's not fair.

You know that your husband's parents are going to be robbed, and therefore you are planning to neglect the elderly parents to punish them for being victims of their other child? Your main concern is nothing will be left for you to mooch after the robbery?

Sounds like both of their children are horrible people who married horrible people.

This is so sad. I hate how people take advantage of the elderly.

My elderly mom who was in a wheelchair with MS had a caregiver that she depended on and befriended who kept asking to borrow money from her. My mom had the biggest heart and loaned her about $10,000 which this woman actually paid back. Then she asked to borrow $20,000 which my mom lent her.

When my sister and I found out about it we put together a loan agreement for repayment which this woman was only able to pay back in services since she had no money. My mother passed away with the loan unpaid and we realize that there is no way that we will see the money again...

21:34 - Did I write this post? I had the exact same situation.

My aunt, who had power of attorney and took care of my grandmother's end of life, "persuaded" said grandmother to bequeath to her valuable jewelry and a lot more things besides, that she had previously ear-marked for others.

When my mother brought it up after my grandmother's death, my aunt threw a fit, as she well knows how, and told her she deserved these gifts for having looked after my grandmother so well, and screw all these other people who had been promised bequests.

I was not surprised.

Call the cops on them. It's identity theft.

Just make sure they are not physically abusing your parent, or withholding care, OPs. Sadly, this happens too.

Thats amazing that your sister relinquished POA voluntarily. I'm surprised. But I think this is a case of be careful what you wish for. I hope things work out for you - truly I do, now that you are holding the bag for your mom.

This will become of my DH's parents. His conniving brother WILL clean them out of hundreds of thousands of dollars, we won't get 1 penny. But I swear to god, because that's the case, I will refuse to do anything as far as setting up the parents assisted living, nursing home, etc. care. If my BIL and his shit wife are going to take them to the cleaners, they can do all the cleaning of the mess too. I have already let go of resentment over us getting zero. It will happen. And it's not fair.

Unfortunately, this isn't that uncommon. Glad you found it and corrected the situation, although it appears you now get to be your mom's main caretaker.

Can you bring her closer to you?

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry this has happened OP. you did the right thing.

Meant to say SISTER and BIL, not SIL. My brain is scrambled.

I'm sorry this has happened OP. you did the right thing.

Mom has dementia. SIL has power of attorney. Just discovered she's opened a lot of credit in Mom's name and hasn't paid the bills. Took mom to the bank and got account statements. It's shocking how much money my sister and BIL have been draining from her -- for their own things. Now I know how they paid for the new kitchen, for example.

They all live in a poor part of the state (VA -- think Appalachia) and Mom has good retirement income (state pension, SS, etc), so money comes in every month. Sister doesn't work at all. BIL is a semi-retired deadbeat.

I drove down there and took mom to the bank and then the attorney's office and called sister and told her to relinquish the POA or I'd have her arrested. She did so, but now she won't help AT ALL with Mom.

Frustrating.