Anonymous
07/10/2013 11:13
Subject: DW is a terrible driver
"recommend signing her up for a defensive driving course and taking one alongside her"
yes, and present it to her in a way that you're both doing it to keep your insurance costs lower as well as for the safety of the family...
yes, and present it to her in a way that you're both doing it to keep your insurance costs lower as well as for the safety of the family...
Anonymous
07/10/2013 09:19
Subject: Re:DW is a terrible driver
Route 50 through Fairfax. Within city limits 35. In the County 45.
Anonymous
07/10/2013 09:16
Subject: DW is a terrible driver
Anonymous wrote:She dies not sound like a "terrible driver" to me.....
Her record is not perfect- but hardly in the "dangerous" category from what you describe...
55 in a 35? There's a reason certain streets are 35. They are located in towns, residential areas, areas where people are actively moving around. That is reckless and dangerous.
Anonymous
07/10/2013 08:21
Subject: DW is a terrible driver
Wow. How are you still insured? You're rate must be high, if they'd even keep you.
Anonymous
07/10/2013 07:36
Subject: DW is a terrible driver
Anonymous wrote:I recommend signing her up for a defensive driving course and taking one alongside her so it's not just about her. My husband and I enrolled all of our kids in a similar course after they got their licenses and it's been a great thing. We went to the BSR class at Summit Point.
If this is what it takes, it's what it takes.
I wonder if there's other issues at play here.
Anonymous
07/10/2013 07:09
Subject: DW is a terrible driver
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:What's your primary goal here--to punish her or to become a safer driver? Pick one. If you choose punishing her, then you'll always be the jackass, controlling husband who treats his wife like a child.
But if you choose safe driver, then you can talk to her with reason and concern. You can speak from a place of love. You can talk to her as an adult and as your partner: "Honey, you and the children are my entire world. If anything happened to you, I would be devastated. I have serious concerns about your safety and the safety of our children when you drive. I can no longer ignore 5 speeding tickets-two of which have been this year, a failure to obey a signal, and an accident where you hit someone. You would never forgive yourself if something happened to our kids because of your driving. It's time for us to deal with this. I need you to attend a driver safety course. I have the information here, and I want you to register and complete this course. I need you to commit to following all traffic signs and rules. Again, this is because you and the children are my everything. I need you to commit to this class and to driving safely." Then give her the materials to register for the class. Together come up with a time frame in which she'll register such as by the end of the next day. Then she'll have to follow through with the class. Thank her for listening to you and taking this seriously.
No. She needs to become a safer driver, but in order to do so also needs to,let go of her pride. When she told me that she got the ticket, I could've freaked out. Instead, I told her she needs to be more careful, to which she responded that I was saying it was her fault. Well, I didn't go there, but yes dear it was your fault. You were soeeding, and it does not matter what the other cars were doing (she said she wanted to get around the motorcycle in front of her), and then said if I had been with her (and not at work) I would have been driving and she would not have gotten the ticket.
Now, it is true I have the safer record. Currently, no points and, perhaps I am lucky, butbthevlast time I was stopped for a moving violation the officer let me off with a warning (DW was in the car). Maybe it is all attitude. I am humble and respectful with the officer. She can be argumentative. My father used to say you can never talk your way out of a ticket, but you can talk your way into one. I've only had one exception to that, and when it was I convinced an officer not go give her a ticket when she was illegally parked at Dulles Airport. I think here it was context, since she was dropping me off deployment and the officer took pity on her and tore up the ticket.
Okay, so you married a little girl instead of a mature woman. Your choice. Maybe her parents have some advice.
Anonymous
07/10/2013 06:55
Subject: DW is a terrible driver
Anonymous wrote:What's your primary goal here--to punish her or to become a safer driver? Pick one. If you choose punishing her, then you'll always be the jackass, controlling husband who treats his wife like a child.
But if you choose safe driver, then you can talk to her with reason and concern. You can speak from a place of love. You can talk to her as an adult and as your partner: "Honey, you and the children are my entire world. If anything happened to you, I would be devastated. I have serious concerns about your safety and the safety of our children when you drive. I can no longer ignore 5 speeding tickets-two of which have been this year, a failure to obey a signal, and an accident where you hit someone. You would never forgive yourself if something happened to our kids because of your driving. It's time for us to deal with this. I need you to attend a driver safety course. I have the information here, and I want you to register and complete this course. I need you to commit to following all traffic signs and rules. Again, this is because you and the children are my everything. I need you to commit to this class and to driving safely." Then give her the materials to register for the class. Together come up with a time frame in which she'll register such as by the end of the next day. Then she'll have to follow through with the class. Thank her for listening to you and taking this seriously.
No. She needs to become a safer driver, but in order to do so also needs to,let go of her pride. When she told me that she got the ticket, I could've freaked out. Instead, I told her she needs to be more careful, to which she responded that I was saying it was her fault. Well, I didn't go there, but yes dear it was your fault. You were soeeding, and it does not matter what the other cars were doing (she said she wanted to get around the motorcycle in front of her), and then said if I had been with her (and not at work) I would have been driving and she would not have gotten the ticket.
Now, it is true I have the safer record. Currently, no points and, perhaps I am lucky, butbthevlast time I was stopped for a moving violation the officer let me off with a warning (DW was in the car). Maybe it is all attitude. I am humble and respectful with the officer. She can be argumentative. My father used to say you can never talk your way out of a ticket, but you can talk your way into one. I've only had one exception to that, and when it was I convinced an officer not go give her a ticket when she was illegally parked at Dulles Airport. I think here it was context, since she was dropping me off deployment and the officer took pity on her and tore up the ticket.
Anonymous
07/10/2013 06:30
Subject: DW is a terrible driver
The average per person over a 10 year period is 1-2 speeding tickets. OP's wife has earned more than twice that in addition to rear-ending someone and failing to obey a signal. Is she at the same level as someone who is driving intoxicated? Of course not. But I'd be quite concerned, especially since 2 of the speeding tickets were earned in the past year.
Anonymous
07/10/2013 06:05
Subject: DW is a terrible driver
*does
Anonymous
07/10/2013 06:04
Subject: DW is a terrible driver
She dies not sound like a "terrible driver" to me.....
Her record is not perfect- but hardly in the "dangerous" category from what you describe...
Her record is not perfect- but hardly in the "dangerous" category from what you describe...
Anonymous
07/10/2013 05:59
Subject: DW is a terrible driver
Agree with all posters. Especially if there are kids in the car. Make it about family safety. I Drive Smart has good classes, too. Refresher courses, if you will.
Might be a good idea for many people. The last class I took was in 1984. I'm sure some of the advice i got back then has changed. I am a safe driver in general, but everyone could benefit from learning new skills for today's crazy/busy roads.
Might be a good idea for many people. The last class I took was in 1984. I'm sure some of the advice i got back then has changed. I am a safe driver in general, but everyone could benefit from learning new skills for today's crazy/busy roads.
Anonymous
07/10/2013 05:35
Subject: DW is a terrible driver
Anonymous wrote:I recommend signing her up for a defensive driving course and taking one alongside her so it's not just about her. My husband and I enrolled all of our kids in a similar course after they got their licenses and it's been a great thing. We went to the BSR class at Summit Point.
This is excellent advice. It underscores that is about both drivers being safe for the family and diminishes the notion that it's a punishment for wife.
Anonymous
07/10/2013 04:51
Subject: DW is a terrible driver
I recommend signing her up for a defensive driving course and taking one alongside her so it's not just about her. My husband and I enrolled all of our kids in a similar course after they got their licenses and it's been a great thing. We went to the BSR class at Summit Point.
Anonymous
07/10/2013 04:22
Subject: DW is a terrible driver
What's your primary goal here--to punish her or to become a safer driver? Pick one. If you choose punishing her, then you'll always be the jackass, controlling husband who treats his wife like a child.
But if you choose safe driver, then you can talk to her with reason and concern. You can speak from a place of love. You can talk to her as an adult and as your partner: "Honey, you and the children are my entire world. If anything happened to you, I would be devastated. I have serious concerns about your safety and the safety of our children when you drive. I can no longer ignore 5 speeding tickets-two of which have been this year, a failure to obey a signal, and an accident where you hit someone. You would never forgive yourself if something happened to our kids because of your driving. It's time for us to deal with this. I need you to attend a driver safety course. I have the information here, and I want you to register and complete this course. I need you to commit to following all traffic signs and rules. Again, this is because you and the children are my everything. I need you to commit to this class and to driving safely." Then give her the materials to register for the class. Together come up with a time frame in which she'll register such as by the end of the next day. Then she'll have to follow through with the class. Thank her for listening to you and taking this seriously.
But if you choose safe driver, then you can talk to her with reason and concern. You can speak from a place of love. You can talk to her as an adult and as your partner: "Honey, you and the children are my entire world. If anything happened to you, I would be devastated. I have serious concerns about your safety and the safety of our children when you drive. I can no longer ignore 5 speeding tickets-two of which have been this year, a failure to obey a signal, and an accident where you hit someone. You would never forgive yourself if something happened to our kids because of your driving. It's time for us to deal with this. I need you to attend a driver safety course. I have the information here, and I want you to register and complete this course. I need you to commit to following all traffic signs and rules. Again, this is because you and the children are my everything. I need you to commit to this class and to driving safely." Then give her the materials to register for the class. Together come up with a time frame in which she'll register such as by the end of the next day. Then she'll have to follow through with the class. Thank her for listening to you and taking this seriously.
Anonymous
07/10/2013 03:33
Subject: DW is a terrible driver
I don't know how else to put this. My DW, protestations to the contrary, is a terrible driver. In the past 10 years, she has received 3 speeding tickets, including a VA reckless driving by speed that the judge so kindly reduced to simple speeding, one ticket for failure to obey a traffic signal. She was also at fault in an accident two years ago, when she rear ended someone. This year she received two tickets by speed cameras, and she was stopped in VA doing 35 in a 25. Yesterday she was stopped doing 55 in a 35. Fortunately, the officer did not cite her for reckless driving. So, in this sense I guess she licked out.
I doubt, given her record, a judge (Fairfax City) would show any leniency. So, we should probably just pay the fine, but I think I will insist on a safe driver program for her - to earn her safe points on her license - and to maybe have her become a safer driver. Maybe her losing eight hours of time for the class might - sort of like detention in school - make her ponder the errors of her ways.
How would you handle this with DW or DH - mind you she is also the primary driver for the kids - so I am also concerned for their safety.
I doubt, given her record, a judge (Fairfax City) would show any leniency. So, we should probably just pay the fine, but I think I will insist on a safe driver program for her - to earn her safe points on her license - and to maybe have her become a safer driver. Maybe her losing eight hours of time for the class might - sort of like detention in school - make her ponder the errors of her ways.
How would you handle this with DW or DH - mind you she is also the primary driver for the kids - so I am also concerned for their safety.