Maybe there was a reason they were trying to be drowned, demonic possesion or mental defect

For a cat behaviorist question, I wonder if you could call Homeward Trails and ask? http://www.homewardtrails.org

Or, they also have a retail "side of things" (a store that sells animal stuff, the proceeds of which go back into pet adoptions) called: PetMAC (Pet Marketplace and Adoption Center): http://www.petmac.org/ That is run by one of the HT founders and they may also have a name or two to pass along to you. . .

??

Maybe something happened during the operation that gave her some brain damage or something

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like they got off kilter when you brought mama cat home from the teeth cleaning and they haven't been able to find their way back to an even keel. Ours get out of whack also when we return from cleanings. I think it's a combo of the lingering smell of the anesthesia (did mama go under anesthesia?), the lingering smell of the vet's office still clinging to her in general, and the stress she underwent with the procedure. One of ours came back from the vet (after teeth cleaning) and his poops turned HORRIBLE stinky and runny and the vet said it was prob from the stress and the anesthesia.

There's got to be SOMETHING we can do to help these cats see their way back to an even keel again. It's not like they haven't lived together before: they HAVE. They are mother and kids, for heaven's sakes!

Sounds like son sensed mama's vulnerability when she came back from vet and used this as an opty. to try to move up the hierarchy/dominance ladder. . .. . and they are still scrapping it out.

OP again--this is what we keep saying, but nothing has worked so far

Yes, she went under anesthesia.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a toughie. Have you thought about hiring a cat behaviorist? To come visit your home and observe things. There may be something going on that you just haven't pinpointed yet. I one time had a phone consultation with a cat therapist about one of ours (we have 3 also) who kept peeing in little corners, and I was going to have her come to our house, but then it did clear up (finally!) when we got her on prozac. I think it may be worth paying to have one come to your house (or at least do a phone consultation, to see if he/she thinks he/she coudl be helpful), if only as a last resort if you feel you are at the point you'd have to bring her to a shelter. You sound like the type of person who woudl already know this, but a mature cat wouldnt' fare as well (at getting a new home) at teh shelter as a younger cat/kitten would. :*(

Thanks! I will definitely give it a try. Do you have any local recommendations? and what's the going rate for a cat behaviorist?

I absolutely do not want to put her in a shelter. She has the sweetest nature of any cat I've ever met when it's just people around, but she freaks out in a cage and any potential adopters would think she's nuts. That's why we were trying to re-home her through friends/colleagues, etc.

Aww, she does sound SO sweet.

Gosh, I WISH I could remember who I called. This was a # of years ago, so I am not sure. I wonder if you could call some of the specialty vets around here and see if they have any personal recommendations? I go to Northside Veterinary Clinic and they are WONDERFUL and may have a good person to recommend. There is also the NOVA Cat Care Clinic, in Arlington (formerly called Capital Cat Care, I think).

I did a quick spin on the internet just searching under "cat behaviorist" and of course a lot of sites came up . .. I don't know how comfortable yoiu might feel just giving some of these a first phone call to "take them for a spin" and get a feel for them. . .I know this may nto be as good as a personal recommendation, though.

Don't give up! Good luck!

Anonymous wrote:Have they all been fixed? Is the aggressor kid cat a boy who hasn't been fixed yet?

They have all been fixed for years.

Anonymous wrote:They sound feral, not well domesticated. Could you turn one of them into an outdoor cat?

OP here. They are not feral and love to cuddle with us. The roads near our house are quite busy and I think turning them outside would just be a death sentence.

Anonymous wrote:This is a toughie. Have you thought about hiring a cat behaviorist? To come visit your home and observe things. There may be something going on that you just haven't pinpointed yet. I one time had a phone consultation with a cat therapist about one of ours (we have 3 also) who kept peeing in little corners, and I was going to have her come to our house, but then it did clear up (finally!) when we got her on prozac. I think it may be worth paying to have one come to your house (or at least do a phone consultation, to see if he/she thinks he/she coudl be helpful), if only as a last resort if you feel you are at the point you'd have to bring her to a shelter. You sound like the type of person who woudl already know this, but a mature cat wouldnt' fare as well (at getting a new home) at teh shelter as a younger cat/kitten would. :*(

Thanks! I will definitely give it a try. Do you have any local recommendations? and what's the going rate for a cat behaviorist?

I absolutely do not want to put her in a shelter. She has the sweetest nature of any cat I've ever met when it's just people around, but she freaks out in a cage and any potential adopters would think she's nuts. That's why we were trying to re-home her through friends/colleagues, etc.

It sounds like they got off kilter when you brought mama cat home from the teeth cleaning and they haven't been able to find their way back to an even keel. Ours get out of whack also when we return from cleanings. I think it's a combo of the lingering smell of the anesthesia (did mama go under anesthesia?), the lingering smell of the vet's office still clinging to her in general, and the stress she underwent with the procedure. One of ours came back from the vet (after teeth cleaning) and his poops turned HORRIBLE stinky and runny and the vet said it was prob from the stress and the anesthesia.

There's got to be SOMETHING we can do to help these cats see their way back to an even keel again. It's not like they haven't lived together before: they HAVE. They are mother and kids, for heaven's sakes!

Sounds like son sensed mama's vulnerability when she came back from vet and used this as an opty. to try to move up the hierarchy/dominance ladder. . .. . and they are still scrapping it out.

Anonymous wrote:Have they all been fixed? Is the aggressor kid cat a boy who hasn't been fixed yet?

Good question.

I wonder if the new baby (and all of the accompanying changes in the household) is contributing to things. At the very least, it cannot be *helping*. I think the behaviorist could tease out what thing(s) are going on. . .

Have they all been fixed? Is the aggressor kid cat a boy who hasn't been fixed yet?

They sound feral, not well domesticated. Could you turn one of them into an outdoor cat?

This is a toughie. Have you thought about hiring a cat behaviorist? To come visit your home and observe things. There may be something going on that you just haven't pinpointed yet. I one time had a phone consultation with a cat therapist about one of ours (we have 3 also) who kept peeing in little corners, and I was going to have her come to our house, but then it did clear up (finally!) when we got her on prozac. I think it may be worth paying to have one come to your house (or at least do a phone consultation, to see if he/she thinks he/she coudl be helpful), if only as a last resort if you feel you are at the point you'd have to bring her to a shelter. You sound like the type of person who woudl already know this, but a mature cat wouldnt' fare as well (at getting a new home) at teh shelter as a younger cat/kitten would. :*(

I’m looking for some cat behavior advice and I’m hoping someone has an idea that we haven’t thought of yet. We have three cats. A little background: about five years ago, we found some kittens in a bag outside our house that someone tried to drown in a drain. After DH fished them out, we were the proud owners of two kittens and their mama. We were all living happily until about three years ago when we took the mama cat to get her teeth cleaned. From the moment she got home from the vet, she has been in a fight with one of her kittens, who has now grown into a 16-pound beast, twice her size. The fights are absolutely vicious and the mama cat, who is a super sweet little marshmallow, just gets her butt kicked. They take turns being the aggressor.

We have tried “introducing” them like you would a new cat by slowly opening a door between them over a period of weeks. We have tried calming remedies in their water. We have tried those pheromone plug-ins. We tried separating them and then switching their “territories” so they get used to the other’s smell. We have even recently tried giving them anti-anxiety meds that the vet prescribed, but they will not take the meds no matter what we do (we finally managed to get a tiny bit of a pill in mama cat’s mouth and she started foaming at the mouth and threw up three times in a row).

Sometimes they will eat right next to each other, only to get into a brutal fight as soon as they’re done. We now have the mama cat separated in our guest bedroom with her own litter/food/water, but this is not a tenable long-term solution. It’s just not fair for her to live like that, but we don’t know what else to do. We do let her out sometimes when we can supervise and distract them when one of them starts to act aggressive, but it’s not enough. To add to the mix, we recently had a baby and the cat situation is taking over our lives. DH’s family is from another country and wants to come visit us, but no one can stay at our house because the mama cat lives in our guest room.

It seems like our best option is to re-home the mama cat, but we have asked everyone we know and nothing has worked out. I would never be able to live with myself if we put her in a shelter, so does anyone have any advice? I will try almost anything to get them to at least be able to use the same litter box again (the other two cats have litter boxes in our office).