Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:* all of 4th and 5th grade we didnt have power.
* qualified for free lunch and like you OP would never get te lunch because then people would know.
*all thru HS we lived,literally, in a shack with roaches, rats and no AC or heat
* I never went to a single event in HS, including prom because there wasnt money to, and I was ashamed of my clothes
* I spent so many nights going to bed hungry that I push food on my DC. I'm so paranoid he might be hungry that now he's about 10lbs overweight
* as an adult I'm a terrible hoarder of things I never had as a kid- toothpaste, deodorant, soap/shampoo and feminine products being my biggest hoards

Where did you live? What are your circumstances like now? What about your siblings? Parents?

I grew up in Texas and Florida. Texas we were poor, in Florida we were dirt poor. My father just one day decided he didn't want to work anymore and so he didnt. I got a job at 15, but it went to help pay the bills.
It's been 25 yrs since I've spoken or seen my father and close to 10 for my mother. I am by no means wealthy, but I do very well and my DC has never known what hungry or cold or scared feels like. He is heavily spoiled. I keep telling myself I need to scale back on material things for him, and then the little girl me rears her head and I can't help it and buy whatever his heart desires

Thank you for taking the time to answer my questions. It's so interesting to me because my mother grew up "traumatically poor" and it continues to influence her behavior and her relationships even though she is over 70 years old and financially secure. I'm so proud of her because she is so strong, but it saddens me to see how she still suffers.

Anonymous wrote:Oh my gosh...tonight I was thinking about how fortunate my dd has it, and how she appreciates nothing. I know that it has to do with the fact that she does not know any other way, but I have to start cutting her off. I want her to know what it feels like to not have everything she wants. I did not grow up poor, but I have more than my parents did. I am rambling right now, but I often think that if we were poor, dd would appreciate the things she does have. I am sorry for the way you had to grow up. I hope life is treating you better now.

She's in 2nd grade! Sheesh!!

putting things back at the grocery store b/c we did not have enough money for the bill

*Not enough pillows to go around. (my sisters and I now have beds full of pillows)
*Shared beds, not just bedrooms.
*I started mowing lawns at 12 so I could have money for the movies or candy.
*At 13 I babysat, mowed lawns, and did other odd jobs so I could buy clothes and go out with friends.
*Had utilities shut off in winter
*Didn't have enough coats to go around in the winter. My dad gave us his old overcoats but he would need to take them back on court days.


We weren't poor until I was in 6th grade. That's when my dad lost his job and he majorly switched careers. He went from being an executive to CPS worker. My mom followed him when she lost her job. Together they made next to nothing but they found their work rewarding and stayed there until they retired. As a teen though I would get a little mad that they were out there saving children and not making enough to really support their own kids.

My dad losing his job right before Christmas with 4 kids at home including a baby; and some nice lady delivered a bunch of toys for Christmas.

My mom scraping together some change to buy some scrap chicken bones from the local butcher to boil down and make soup for us to eat.

Mixing one can of Cambell's condensed soup with 2 cans of water. I thought that was how you made soup. Now I know that is how you stretch a can of soup to make lunch for 5 kids.

Sleeping 4 girls in one 9x10 room with 2 bunk beds, but everyone slept on the floor during the summer because it was so hot without AC

My mom borrowing my babysitting money to make the bills, house payment, electric, etc.

Getting McDonalds once a month was a treat. So was the week we got to pick out the cereal.

Things ebbed and flowed between poverty and not so poor depending on whether or not my dad had a job. I remember during one of the "up" times, my best friend's mom was going through a terrible divorce from her truly awful husband. She had no money; no food, and 4 kids. I had a sleepover at my friend's house, and when my mom picked me up she came with about a month's worth of groceries. I remember my mom and older sister bringing in bag after bag of food, while my friend's mom cried and her kids climbed on the table, pulling out food, shouting with excitement. My mom didn't make a production of it; no one besides us and them knew she did this.

I think those who have experienced poverty themselves have a special empathy and compassion for others in the same position that people who have never wanted for anything will ever really understand. I try to impress this compassion on my kids, but when you live a comfortable life that is a difficult lesson to learn.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:* all of 4th and 5th grade we didnt have power.
* qualified for free lunch and like you OP would never get te lunch because then people would know.
*all thru HS we lived,literally, in a shack with roaches, rats and no AC or heat
* I never went to a single event in HS, including prom because there wasnt money to, and I was ashamed of my clothes
* I spent so many nights going to bed hungry that I push food on my DC. I'm so paranoid he might be hungry that now he's about 10lbs overweight
* as an adult I'm a terrible hoarder of things I never had as a kid- toothpaste, deodorant, soap/shampoo and feminine products being my biggest hoards

Where did you live? What are your circumstances like now? What about your siblings? Parents?

My sister has 4 out of wedlock children and is on welfare. She lives 10min from our mother

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:* all of 4th and 5th grade we didnt have power.
* qualified for free lunch and like you OP would never get te lunch because then people would know.
*all thru HS we lived,literally, in a shack with roaches, rats and no AC or heat
* I never went to a single event in HS, including prom because there wasnt money to, and I was ashamed of my clothes
* I spent so many nights going to bed hungry that I push food on my DC. I'm so paranoid he might be hungry that now he's about 10lbs overweight
* as an adult I'm a terrible hoarder of things I never had as a kid- toothpaste, deodorant, soap/shampoo and feminine products being my biggest hoards

Where did you live? What are your circumstances like now? What about your siblings? Parents?

I grew up in Texas and Florida. Texas we were poor, in Florida we were dirt poor. My father just one day decided he didn't want to work anymore and so he didnt. I got a job at 15, but it went to help pay the bills.
It's been 25 yrs since I've spoken or seen my father and close to 10 for my mother. I am by no means wealthy, but I do very well and my DC has never known what hungry or cold or scared feels like. He is heavily spoiled. I keep telling myself I need to scale back on material things for him, and then the little girl me rears her head and I can't help it and buy whatever his heart desires

Anonymous wrote:Ziplock bags over my shoes, tied with rubber bands, instead of snow boots. Mom's idea. I was in second grade and thought it was brilliant. Until everyone made fun of me.

I grew up with money but my mom who grew up poor made me do this. Ridiculous.

Anonymous wrote:* all of 4th and 5th grade we didnt have power.
* qualified for free lunch and like you OP would never get te lunch because then people would know.
*all thru HS we lived,literally, in a shack with roaches, rats and no AC or heat
* I never went to a single event in HS, including prom because there wasnt money to, and I was ashamed of my clothes
* I spent so many nights going to bed hungry that I push food on my DC. I'm so paranoid he might be hungry that now he's about 10lbs overweight
* as an adult I'm a terrible hoarder of things I never had as a kid- toothpaste, deodorant, soap/shampoo and feminine products being my biggest hoards

Where did you live? What are your circumstances like now? What about your siblings? Parents?

Oh my gosh...tonight I was thinking about how fortunate my dd has it, and how she appreciates nothing. I know that it has to do with the fact that she does not know any other way, but I have to start cutting her off. I want her to know what it feels like to not have everything she wants. I did not grow up poor, but I have more than my parents did. I am rambling right now, but I often think that if we were poor, dd would appreciate the things she does have. I am sorry for the way you had to grow up. I hope life is treating you better now.

Ziplock bags over my shoes, tied with rubber bands, instead of snow boots. Mom's idea. I was in second grade and thought it was brilliant. Until everyone made fun of me.

Powdered milk.

Wait, OP, you had shoes?

* all of 4th and 5th grade we didnt have power.
* qualified for free lunch and like you OP would never get te lunch because then people would know.
*all thru HS we lived,literally, in a shack with roaches, rats and no AC or heat
* I never went to a single event in HS, including prom because there wasnt money to, and I was ashamed of my clothes
* I spent so many nights going to bed hungry that I push food on my DC. I'm so paranoid he might be hungry that now he's about 10lbs overweight
* as an adult I'm a terrible hoarder of things I never had as a kid- toothpaste, deodorant, soap/shampoo and feminine products being my biggest hoards

What are some distinct memories you have of your childhood? Some of mine...

* From the 25th to the 1st it was pancakes, beans and rice. and toast.
* Always had one pair of shoes, no more. I remember my friend saying something like he left his school shoes at his grandmas and I remember thinking you have more than one pair?!?!
* Taking really good care of all possessions, it was an absolute must.
* Not being able to buy a yearbook, lettermans jacket, or prom tickets.
* Qualifying for free lunch but never, ever, taking it: my "red" card would give it all away and everyone would "know".