12:25 here. DS is not diagnosed, but we have a series of evaluations coming up this and next month. My suspicions are based on behavior and experience (other family members, sibling). In fact, most doctors will not diagnose ADHD until age 5--but what I'm mostly interested in is getting a professional evaluation to help us with whatever intervention and parenting strategies we need and information for school. DS starts a public charter school this fall, which should give us more information, and hopefully we will have a good experience with the teachers and their special ed program. On the one hand, DS is less likely to act up if he is engaged in something he likes to do, so if school is fun and structured it may be good for him, on the other he is more likely to act up in groups, and especially in groups of boys. His ideal class would be a handful of 4 year old girls!

I have one other observation though, which I wanted to run by other parents. We do not use violent talk in the house (or are violent!) and are careful with what DS is exposed to, but sometimes he says things, in "play," like "I"M going to cut you!" "I"m going to smash you." We tell his this talk is hurtful and wrong, but are kind of at a loss as to where he's getting it and what's behind it. I think (because he is not really aggressive) that it is about getting a reaction, which seems to be at the root of a lot of behavior, but it is worrisome.

All over the place, easily distracted, unable to relate to kids his own age, preferred older ones and adults.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. 12:25 sounds exactly like mine

Shit. Mine too. 12:25, when was your child diagnosed?

OP here. 12:25 sounds exactly like mine

We strongly suspected ADHD at 3.5 and 4. However, by 6, our child is within the range of normal. While he can still be somewhat hyperactive, he does really well at school and has no behavior issues. 3.5 is way too early to tell if your child has ADHD. I'd wait until 7-8 before seeking a diagnois and even then, only if he's having problems at school.

Hi OP, I have a 3.5 year old boy, and a strong suspicion of adhd, due to behavior and family history. for me, the signs are: always, always on the go and energetic even though the average is 3 to 4 hours outside, with tons of bike riding, running around, climbing everything, etc; always needing to touch/twist/pick up/bang everything (no matter how many "no"s), the more tired he is, the more manic he behaves, impulse control (randomg kicking his sister, throwing things, etc) and sensory seeking (always clambering on me, mouthing my arm, pushing, scraping, banging things, likes to be tickled, tacled, hung upside down, have extremes of physical activity-- yells REALLY loudly when there's a lot of noice, as if to be heard over it, notices 'background' noise very easily, in a class of any kind can't sit still or focus on the teacher because too interested in exploring the room, seems to crave attention of any kind--even negative attention is stimulating--and thus acts up if being ignored until attention is focused on him. very little patience or desire for fine motor skill stuff requiring concentration (drawing, puzzles, etc). Very hard to put to bed--says he can't sleep. Can focus intently on stories, videos, but hyperfocuses (eg, tunes everything else out) on these occasions.

My children are primarily inattentive type, so no real hyperactive behaviors noticed. They both had speech intervention early on. They both were resistant to changes in routines (changes created high levels of anxiety). My son had no inert fear, so he would do terribly dangerous things. They both had difficulty following multistep directions and were flagged by preschool as needing an extra year before attending Kindergarten. They both missed reading milestones and had difficulty with reading comprehension in early elementary school.

Extraordinary lack of impulse control.

Anonymous wrote:DD was constantly in motion, moving much more than the other kids. The sensory processing disorder came first at age 4, then the inevitable ADHD diagnosis at age 6.

Ditto. With emphasis on the constant motion part. Plus the behaviors that we just could not correct with typical parenting tools like reward charts and time-outs. 1-2-3 Magic would work, but we had to do it over and over and over and over. It worked for immediate behavior, but then 5 minutes later he'd do the same thing.

My son has Inattentive ADHD. We did not realize anything was wrong until second grade when he could not keep up with some subjects in school which led to some anxiety and behavior problems.

Our 3.5 DD most certainly has ADHD and I know this because she is the female version of her oldest brother who has ADHD. Strangely enough, her middle son who also has ADHD has a different form of it and seeing the different types of ADHD play out in our house is interesting from a purely observational perspective but exhausting.

Our oldest wasn't diagnosed until he was 9 and it took too long to get his diagnoses. First, he was diagnosed with depression, which he had because he was under so much pressure to behave, etc. that he became depressed. Once that was treated and under control, he was then diagnosed with ADHD and we happily are treating him with medicine. He will tell you how much happier he is on medicine.

We smartened up after this experience with our oldest and had his younger brother tested when he was 5, and the psychologist told us that his ADHD was more severe than our oldest's. He has been treated now for the past 10 months and everyone is happy.

Our DD will make the trip for ADHD testing when she is 5. In all honesty she would benefit from the medicine now so that she could have impulse control. In my mind, children with impulse control issues need to be medicated sooner rather than later to help them with socialization, and just staying out of trouble.

We have learned the hard way over the years that early intervention is much, much better.

My son started his first year of Montessori preschool at 3.5. Socially, it was an eye-opener: children would run up to me at pick-up time and say: "Do you know what DS did today? He did...." Or "Why is DS so weird?". He was not aggressive, just completely unable to relate and cooperate in group play with other children. He would babble incoherently at inopportune times (had a speech delay as well).

That first year, his teachers said that he was just immature and needed extra time to adjust. Then the second year they started saying how inattentive and daydreaming he would become during Montessori lessons. The third year, the heavy hints finally percolated into our hitherto clueless brains and we had him evaluated by a dev. Ped, who diagnosed ADHD-NOS when DS was 5.

Take this with a grain of salt, though, because I believe my son also has either high-functioning autism or Asperger's, and I am planning to have him evaluated for that this summer. Perhaps his difficult social adjustment at 3.5 was due to this more than the ADHD?

Good luck!

When my ADHD kid gets tired, he gets more hyper and goofy. When he was 2-4, he would literally spin in circles if he was really tired and needed to go to bed.

He didn't sleep. It's impossible to put him to bed. He said that he couldn't get his head to be quiet.

He climbed things. He climbed everything. He fell off the monkey bars and sprained an ankle at 4 because he tried to run across the TOP of them.

He touched everything.

He blurted out verbal responses, even when he was supposed to be quiet. Best one was at my mom's funeral. We placed a picture of her with her beloved dog next to her urn. During the memorial, he asked loudly "Mom, are they going to bury the dog, too?" (No. She went to live with Uncle A.)

He continued doing things even if you told him to stop 100 times.

He was charming, smart, creative, funny and super sweet. (Still is.)

DD was constantly in motion, moving much more than the other kids. The sensory processing disorder came first at age 4, then the inevitable ADHD diagnosis at age 6.

And did you already suspect that's what it was or think it was just "behavior" issues? Thanks. From a concerned mom to a 3 1/2 year-old boy...