I assume you used sick leave during your half work days? If not, then I would have to side with the boss.

You may have met your basic deadlines despite working half days, but if you are only working 4 hours in a job that requires 8 hour days, you aren't "getting all your work done." You are either cutting corners or failing to take advantage of downtime that could be used to get ahead or work on business development. There is no such thing as doing a full day's work in a half day; at best, you're just doing a very efficient half day. In other words, there is an opportunity cost to staying home with sick kids, and it isn't one that the employer should be asked to shoulder on anything but the most rare occasion.

Anonymous wrote:Hard to tell without context whether he meant (1) "you should get an au pair because I'm annoyed you're missing work" or (2) "it must be hard for both of you having to take off every time the kids get sick, I guess we never had to deal with that since we had an au pair." (Although didn't the au pair sometimes get sick?)

If you felt compelled to give him the stats about how long it had been since your kids last got sick, and he didn't respond "Oh I didn't mean to criticize, it's not your fault obviously!" then it is probably more #1, and I agree, that's annoying. If you feel like you need to defend yourself more I might point out that you got all your work done.

Or 3) I'm annoyed iwth you for missing work for a sick kid and you'd better get it fixed or get another job.

Hard to tell without context whether he meant (1) "you should get an au pair because I'm annoyed you're missing work" or (2) "it must be hard for both of you having to take off every time the kids get sick, I guess we never had to deal with that since we had an au pair." (Although didn't the au pair sometimes get sick?)

If you felt compelled to give him the stats about how long it had been since your kids last got sick, and he didn't respond "Oh I didn't mean to criticize, it's not your fault obviously!" then it is probably more #1, and I agree, that's annoying. If you feel like you need to defend yourself more I might point out that you got all your work done.

Cross what line?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't see the issue. He didn't tell you to get a nanny. He didn't say anything about your lack of work. He simply said that he had a nanny which was a good idea for when kids are sick. Big deal...?

+1;

"Yea little snotfucker is sick"
"oh that's lame. I remember our kids at that age. We had an AU pair which made things so much easier."

Big whoop

This, exactly.

Anonymous wrote:I don't see the issue. He didn't tell you to get a nanny. He didn't say anything about your lack of work. He simply said that he had a nanny which was a good idea for when kids are sick. Big deal...?

+1;

"Yea little snotfucker is sick"
"oh that's lame. I remember our kids at that age. We had an AU pair which made things so much easier."

Big whoop

It depends on your job type.

A friend of mine who wanted to reduce from 40 hours to 35 so she could pick up her kids after school was told by the female boss (who made three times her salary) that she needed to hire a nanny. She denied the request (and then the employee got a different job).

I got similar comments, but a male colleague? Nada. Turns out he was a real a$$ so I'm glad I got out of there.

Anonymous wrote:Today, my boss reminded me (for the second time) that when his kids were small, they had an au pair for this very reason.

Probably tomorrow he will give you a raise, so that you can afford this magical au pair.

Or, more realistically, alas, he won't.

Annoying for sure. Any idea if he says similar things to others?

I don't see the issue. He didn't tell you to get a nanny. He didn't say anything about your lack of work. He simply said that he had a nanny which was a good idea for when kids are sick. Big deal...?

Inappropriate.

Obviously, you take off more time than you think you do.

Hi there-

I need a gut check to figure out if my boss crossed the line. My boss is a dad with two teenage kids; I have two kids under 6 and both attend daycare/preschool at my workplace. Last week, my younger DS was sick for two days. DH and I did a split shift each day (in for 4 hours each day; on email while at home). This week, older DS is sick with the same bug. I stayed home yesterday and telecommuted for half the day; today my DH stayed home while I went to work. Today, my boss reminded me (for the second time) that when his kids were small, they had an au pair for this very reason. I pointed out that prior to this recent illness, older DS hadn't been sick since December 2012 and younger DS since February 2013!

I have an excellent relationship with my boss but feel that he indicated his lack of support for the working parent in this situation. We are beyond thrilled with the school and have zero intention of pulling our kids out. My work didn't suffer and I ensured all my projects/tasks were completed even remotely.

I don't feel this is worth pursuing but just need an indication from the group that this was an inappropriate comment.

Thoughts?