I know it's easy to engage in "magical thinking" when you're in mourning, and to therefore say less attention somehow led to leukemia-- but please don't blame yourself for this, OP.

Dogs are so intuitive-- there's no doubt in my mind that your sweet dog knew you were going through hard times with the babies, and understood.

My beloved dog had cancer and I didn't realize it at all, until a week before he died when he started bleeding from his mouth. That's the other thing about dogs (and cats)-- they are masters at hiding their symptoms when they aren't feeling well.

You just can't blame yourself-- you took great care of your sweet dog, and I'm certain she knew how much you loved her!

OP, I agree that you have nothing to feel bad about. You gave your pup a wonderful life and, clearly, she loved you very much.

Per your request, I'm squeezing my puppy extra hard tonight and letting her know again how much she's loved.

She seems pretty happy about it.

OP, I will hug my dog extra hard today. You are a loving family and you gave your dog a good life. They know when they are loved.

Anonymous wrote:Try not to beat yourself up. You gave her a loving home for her entire life. She knew you loved her even though you didn't have as much time for her Dogs are great that way.

You have nothing to feel guilty about - she had a wonderful home and just because her life changed doesn't mean she wasn't happy. Think of all the dogs that NEVER get adopted and die in shelters across the US, I'm sure she knew you loved her. One day, when you're ready, adopt another shelter dog - that will a great deed in her honor.

I couldn't read your whole post (I'm a wimp), but my heart breaks for you. We lost our beloved dog a year ago after a wrenching illness with a couple of super scary episodes. If it is any consolation, having to make the decision to put our dog down was almost unbearable for us. We didn't want her to suffer, but DH and I both wished that she had passed away (peacefully, of course) without us having to make that decision, the agonizing drive to the vet, etc. As for your guilt, please remember that a 10 year old dog does not have the energy of a younger dog and is getting to the point where she likes being a lump on a log. You gave her a wonderful life, and I am sure you will give another dog a wonderful life some day. You were there when she needed you, you did everything you could for her, and the end of her life was not your fault. I'm sorry for your loss and pain.

Thanks for sharing. Such a sad loss. I'm so sorry, OP. Still, could you really have done anything differently - differently enough? Who wouldn't be overwhelmed by what you were dealing with? Absolutely, your dog's passing can be a painful wake-up call that puts everything into perspective, but do forgive yourself and move on - if you can give a second chance to another rescue dog, that would be a wonderful way to make amends.

Try not to beat yourself up. You gave her a loving home for her entire life. She knew you loved her even though you didn't have as much time for her Dogs are great that way.

DH and I got the sweetest 60lb sheppard hound mix from a shelter when we got engaged about 10 years ago. She was our baby, went everywhere with us, took her on long walks, to dog parks, she snuggled on the couch with us every night after dinner, slept on our bed...you get the picture. I was put on bed rest with baby 1 and she was my constant companion...and no one was more excited than she was when we came home from the hospital. Her life changed - not as much snuggle time or trips to the dog park, but she adored DS - and he adored her, she was the first to elicit his wonderful laugh. A few years later, pregnant again and had a horrible 20 week scan. She laid her head in my lap as I cried and cried. Bed rest again, and she never left my side (even to go to the bathroom!). Baby born, long hospital stay, finally came home and all our energy was focused on meeting his vast needs. Our sweet dog was fed and let out...no long walks, snuggles, dog parks. She was pushed out of our bed, almost out of our room due to all the medical equipment. She had to wait for attention more times than she should have. Then...she got sick. Stopped eating so we took her to the vet. Leukemia. Got her steroids, but two weeks later, she died overnight. And I heard her take her last breath on our floor while I was up half awake nursing the baby. I didn't realize what the sound was until the morning though when we realized she was gone.

It's been over a month and I can't forgive myself for the change in her quality of life since bringing the baby home and for not checking on her when I heard the croaking sound. I know it wouldn't have made a difference, but after her always being there for me,I feel like I failed her.

Please give your fur babies an extra snuggle today for me. Take them for a long walk and let them sniff to their heart's content. I would give anything to redo the last few months in the life of mine.