Anonymous wrote:My DH has pretty much left this at my discretion and he realizes how she is. He is supportive either way. I feel like it would make him happy to invite his family & I'm sure she'd jump at the chance but I would be miserable. She is the type of person to turn down an invitation only to invite herself the next weekend fully expecting to be accommodated. They just sit on the couch and watch tv. Not interactive at all. They'll pose for pictures that they keep to themselves and...that's about it. Meanwhile, they'll expect us to entertain and cook while they criticize everything...I can hear it already.

OP are you one those people that likes to whine and wallow in drama? Because you just posted all this negative stuff about your MIL and said your husband was supportive of NOT inviting her. Yet in the same breath, you're saying that you think he would be happy if you invited MIL. How about taking responsibility for your own feelings and letting your husband do the same? Why do you need to "manage" his feelings? If he wanted to have his MIL there, he would say so.

How old is your child turning? Do they want her there?

Anonymous wrote:"She came to our DS's when he was much younger and I had to ignore nasty, hateful comments the whole time with guest balking at how rude she was comparing him to her other grandson "Oh, he has that too. "

This bitch will never be invited to any of my parties. Ever.

Yeah. It's one thing if you just don't get along well. But treating you poorly and beinng rude to guests = no more invitations.

My DH has pretty much left this at my discretion and he realizes how she is. He is supportive either way. I feel like it would make him happy to invite his family & I'm sure she'd jump at the chance but I would be miserable. She is the type of person to turn down an invitation only to invite herself the next weekend fully expecting to be accommodated. They just sit on the couch and watch tv. Not interactive at all. They'll pose for pictures that they keep to themselves and...that's about it. Meanwhile, they'll expect us to entertain and cook while they criticize everything...I can hear it already.

"She came to our DS's when he was much younger and I had to ignore nasty, hateful comments the whole time with guest balking at how rude she was comparing him to her other grandson "Oh, he has that too. "

This bitch will never be invited to any of my parties. Ever.

I'm not hearing any compelling reasons to invite her and a whole bunch of reasons not to. So what if she's your MIL? That's not a license to be rude. What does your DH think?

It's a friends and peers type thing at home.

Is it a party at a venue, probably no invite. Party at home, yes you should invite. Even if you don't have a good relationship with her you want your children to have one.

I just wouldn't invite them. She sounds like party pooper, and like you said she would make it all about her.

Should I mail them an invite and hope they don't come?

What party?

Anonymous wrote:What party?

Ah, yes. It's a birthday party.

No.

OP here. I'll add the I am not on best terms with her. We are civil and nice and 'pretend' to get along..but in the end I know she doesn't like me. Nothing is good enough and she will find something wrong with it, no doubt.. It's a laid back kind of party. I just want to relax and fear if she's there that will definitely not happen. I'll be stressed.

Against my better judgment, I'm wondering if I should invite the MIL (in particular, who will come with my very nice FIL). They live over 5 hours away so the chances of them coming are slim. Although, she is crazy as shit and other family members have yet to invite her to any of their kids parties. She came to our DS's when he was much younger and I had to ignore nasty, hateful comments the whole time with guest balking at how rude she was comparing him to her other grandson "Oh, he has that too. " Very competitive. She even went as far to call DIL to suggest their party be as good as ours was..kinda flattering, but ridiculous for the most part. My gut says to skip the invitation....but she IS family and if I were the MIL I would want to be invited even if I couldn't come. On the other hand, it will be nothing but trouble and she will make it all about her and not my DS turning 6. Would you invite her??