OP, I don't know if it helps, but in my circle, gay rights are universally accepted and encouraged. And about half of my friends are Republicans, judging from my facebook feed. When the Supreme Court was looking at DOMA, an overwhelming number of people on my FB feed replaced their profile pics with the equal sign or something similar, even the folks I know who hate Obama, love guns, etc. I honestly think that for a majority of people in this country, gay rights are just no big deal and we don't assume you have an agenda other than to have the same rights as any other person. Odds are, the people whose opinions you actually care about are supportive of you.

OP,

I'm glad you know who you are. I hope your family accepts you too. (I also don't think there's anything wrong in referring to yourself as a "gay girl" or lesbian.)

Don't know how old you are, but there are support groups out there if you feel like you don't have any or enough:

http://community.pflag.org/page.aspx?pid=209

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only "agenda" I worry about is that there will be a push to have all churches everywhere perform marriages, and some of the in-your-face gay and lesbian activists won't stop until that happens, which means having to listen to this stuff for the rest of our lives. I am pro gay marriage in a civil sense, but don't want religious institutions strong armed into performing ceremonies that they are doctrinally opposed to.

This argument irritates the hell out of me. What you're basically saying is that the political should remain divested of the church, right? If only the churches listened as well. It's a two-way street my friend. Once religious institutions became political (which has really been forever) it's an invitation for the reverse to happen. Right?

I agree with BOTH of these points, actually. There are some churches that are PROUD to perform marriages between same-sex couples. I've been to several right here in DC. I've also been to gay weddings in other parts of the country that were primarily civil commitments between not-particularly-religious adults. Commitment to marital fidelity and wanting to celebrate love do not necessarily need to be religious in nature, but if a same-sex couple wants a religious ceremony, there are certainly churches who are willing to perform that ceremony.

As for the separation of church and politics, I suspect that those "in your face gay and lesbian activists" the first PP is concerned about take a more radical stance on equality. Most people who have been discriminated against are angry about that at some point. Some choose to be more radical than others. The comments in this thread drip with soft-core bigotry - who cares about leather and mustaches? who cares if the OP refers to herself as a "gay girl"?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only "agenda" I worry about is that there will be a push to have all churches everywhere perform marriages, and some of the in-your-face gay and lesbian activists won't stop until that happens, which means having to listen to this stuff for the rest of our lives. I am pro gay marriage in a civil sense, but don't want religious institutions strong armed into performing ceremonies that they are doctrinally opposed to.

This argument irritates the hell out of me. What you're basically saying is that the political should remain divested of the church, right? If only the churches listened as well. It's a two-way street my friend. Once religious institutions became political (which has really been forever) it's an invitation for the reverse to happen. Right?

Not the pp, but your comment doesn't make much sense.

Anonymous wrote:Another conservative here--the anti gay agenda is mainly religious and sorry to say..lots of Dems are religious and anti gay--look at the state of California. Look at the African American community..lots of dems there and this community is notorious for not being accepting who aren't straight (this is where the terms on the down low came from) As a true conservative I think everyone minds their own business and as little of government infringing on that as possible. I also think the world is changing. It used to be your only exposure to gay lifestyle was on cable (sex shows and I mean the hard core stuff not "L word" and coverage of the "gay pride" parade and sorry guys in leather with long mustache it was hard to take that seriously. Now more gay people are out and just living their lives and surprise most people are completely fine with that. My aunt came out and she said she wished she did it sooner as no one in the family had any negative thought on it. The worry was actually in her own mind. She is a lot happier living openly.

I am black and I take GREAT offense to this position. How many black people do you know who are "anti-gay"? Being on the "down low" has nothing to do with being homophobic, but rather the inability for the man to accept his sexuality (this happens across all races). Please stop perpetuating the "blacks don't like gay people" crap.

Anonymous wrote:The only "agenda" I worry about is that there will be a push to have all churches everywhere perform marriages, and some of the in-your-face gay and lesbian activists won't stop until that happens, which means having to listen to this stuff for the rest of our lives. I am pro gay marriage in a civil sense, but don't want religious institutions strong armed into performing ceremonies that they are doctrinally opposed to.

This argument irritates the hell out of me. What you're basically saying is that the political should remain divested of the church, right? If only the churches listened as well. It's a two-way street my friend. Once religious institutions became political (which has really been forever) it's an invitation for the reverse to happen. Right?

Another conservative here--the anti gay agenda is mainly religious and sorry to say..lots of Dems are religious and anti gay--look at the state of California. Look at the African American community..lots of dems there and this community is notorious for not being accepting who aren't straight (this is where the terms on the down low came from) As a true conservative I think everyone minds their own business and as little of government infringing on that as possible. I also think the world is changing. It used to be your only exposure to gay lifestyle was on cable (sex shows and I mean the hard core stuff not "L word" and coverage of the "gay pride" parade and sorry guys in leather with long mustache it was hard to take that seriously. Now more gay people are out and just living their lives and surprise most people are completely fine with that. My aunt came out and she said she wished she did it sooner as no one in the family had any negative thought on it. The worry was actually in her own mind. She is a lot happier living openly.

Anonymous wrote:The only "agenda" I worry about is that there will be a push to have all churches everywhere perform marriages, and some of the in-your-face gay and lesbian activists won't stop until that happens, which means having to listen to this stuff for the rest of our lives. I am pro gay marriage in a civil sense, but don't want religious institutions strong armed into performing ceremonies that they are doctrinally opposed to.

I don't see how a church would be forced to perform gay marriages.

The only "agenda" I worry about is that there will be a push to have all churches everywhere perform marriages, and some of the in-your-face gay and lesbian activists won't stop until that happens, which means having to listen to this stuff for the rest of our lives. I am pro gay marriage in a civil sense, but don't want religious institutions strong armed into performing ceremonies that they are doctrinally opposed to.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Conservative here. The only gay agenda out there is fabricated by politicians and groups that plan to benefit in some way out there.

A gay person has never forced an agenda down my throat, any more than a straight person has. Gay people simply want to live their lives.

Sure, some might be more involved with causes dear to them, but so are heteros.

If anything, gay people are being exploited by those who hide behind the the 'helper' shroud. And it pisses me off.

+1

OP -this is an issue with your family and not society around you. My sister is gay. my parents have a very difficult time with it but it has nothing to do with our conservative political views, rather our stringent cultural views and the fact that my parents were raised in another country.
and to be honest - the only agendas that are shoved down my throat are the ones coming from people who claim to be "progressive, open and accepting". that's a laugh....

There are groups that consider gays to be sinners and groups that try to "reprogram" them, and there are people who hassle them, beat them, and even kill them. I suppose these do not count as agendas because they are not directed at the PP's.

As to the progressive agenda, to let gays live the lives they wish, as we straights do, I plead guilty to pushing that agenda.

OP, it may be that your family will accept who you are because they love you; that often happens, although not always. But I doubt you will ever be happy unless you and they come to terms with reality.

Anonymous wrote:Conservative here. The only gay agenda out there is fabricated by politicians and groups that plan to benefit in some way out there.

A gay person has never forced an agenda down my throat, any more than a straight person has. Gay people simply want to live their lives.

Sure, some might be more involved with causes dear to them, but so are heteros.

If anything, gay people are being exploited by those who hide behind the the 'helper' shroud. And it pisses me off.

+1

OP -this is an issue with your family and not society around you. My sister is gay. my parents have a very difficult time with it but it has nothing to do with our conservative political views, rather our stringent cultural views and the fact that my parents were raised in another country.
and to be honest - the only agendas that are shoved down my throat are the ones coming from people who claim to be "progressive, open and accepting". that's a laugh....

Anonymous wrote:Conservative here. The only gay agenda out there is fabricated by politicians and groups that plan to benefit in some way out there.

A gay person has never forced an agenda down my throat, any more than a straight person has. Gay people simply want to live their lives.

Sure, some might be more involved with causes dear to them, but so are heteros.

If anything, gay people are being exploited by those who hide behind the the 'helper' shroud. And it pisses me off.

+1

Conservative here. The only gay agenda out there is fabricated by politicians and groups that plan to benefit in some way out there.

A gay person has never forced an agenda down my throat, any more than a straight person has. Gay people simply want to live their lives.

Sure, some might be more involved with causes dear to them, but so are heteros.

If anything, gay people are being exploited by those who hide behind the the 'helper' shroud. And it pisses me off.

Lesbian here. Out for over 20 years to family, friends, the public school where I work, and the 2 kids my partner and I are raising.

1. I'm sorry that there are rough days for you and that family and others struggle with your identity. It's painful to hear that anyone has to hide who she is.

2. It really does get easier with time.

3. You're not a 'gay girl.' You're a lesbian. Own it.

And 4. It's spelled "there" not "their" as in "I had to get that out THERE. THERE is no gay agenda. People need to mind THEIR own business." I don't have a gay agenda, but if you ask my students and my kids, I do have an agenda to see the correct spelling of this homophone.

Happy Pride Month!

I am only speaking for myself, but if their is a "gay agenda" I have no idea what it is...no one has told me. However, their very possibly could be one because I am often out of the loop. I really doubt the "gay agenda" is to indoctrinate impressionable into the evils of the homosexual lifestyle..... for me, MY agenda is to just be able to live, and somewhat happily at that. I don't want to push my sexuality down anyones throats, I just want to be able not constantly obsess about hiding certain aspects of myself from family members and society in fear that I offend someone by existing. Maybe some other gays really do want to take over the world and send it straight to hell, but not this one...and none of the ones I know. I try not to complain to much, but some days the shit just constantly gets thrown at you and I have to throw it back off.

You don't have to reply, I just have to get it out their sometimes.