I know people like this. Specifically, my father. My parents divorced when I was young. I was raised with my mother and have been blessed with financial stability for the rest o my life. I have the ability to spend freely, but was raised to be conscious of my money and taught how to save.

My father was raised to think material things are important. When my parents divorced, he knew that I had money. As I got older, he used to tell me he could not do things because he could not afford it. He was ALWAYS talking to me about how he did not have money. He even told me he did not pay much in child support b/c he knew I was taken care of. Okay, fine, I get that...but who says that to their child when they are 12???? Anyway, I finally had to tell my Dad I don't want to hear about it anymore. I still do, but I don't say anything in response.

Because of him, I have a very low tolerance for people like this.

Anonymous wrote:I thought OP was going a different way. With my sister, it seems that I 'play the poor card' as she says and then she criticizes my every spending habit. But, our HHI are VERY different (she's at least 4 times ours) and she's never had to make ends meet the way we do. When she asks us to do a girls night out or go away for a weekend and I say it's not in our budget, she'll bring up the fact that I bought my kids clothing or bought them a toy or did some 'want' repair to the home and not a 'need' repair. It get's annoying but there is no other way to say sorry, we can't go away that weekend- she'll choose another one.

But, we are not vacationing and I think that taking out a loan for a vacation has hot mess finances written all over it. Everyone has different priorities but it seems they need a reality check!

Have you tried to talk to them about it? Kind of then did you see in the news the family that lost everything type thing. I know it's hard but once my sister finally bitched me out, I've never said another word about finances...she still tries to tell me how to spend my money though.

Sorry, but your sister is beyond rude. When anyone (sister or not) says they can't make it, you say sorry to hear that, not pick apart the reasons why you can't come.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never understand people like the OP who obsess about other people's financial situation. I would look at it this way:

-When they ask, am I willing to watch their kids or pets?

My answer is independent of their cash flow issues. The OP sounds resentful and bitter and I'm not so sure why her neighbors balance sheet is of any consequence.

I think it's because deep down she knows they're living life and she wishes she had more courage to live in the present.

Hey it's easy to live life if I have someone that'll watch my kids for free!

Yes! But I'd also point out that OP was clear that as a reciprocal relationship. So, it's kind of hard to understand her fixation with their finances or why it is any concern of hers. She gets reciprocal value from the babysitting and petsitting, unless I'm missing something.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never understand people like the OP who obsess about other people's financial situation. I would look at it this way:

-When they ask, am I willing to watch their kids or pets?

My answer is independent of their cash flow issues. The OP sounds resentful and bitter and I'm not so sure why her neighbors balance sheet is of any consequence.

I think it's because deep down she knows they're living life and she wishes she had more courage to live in the present.

Hey it's easy to live life if I have someone that'll watch my kids for free!

Anonymous wrote:I never understand people like the OP who obsess about other people's financial situation. I would look at it this way:

-When they ask, am I willing to watch their kids or pets?

My answer is independent of their cash flow issues. The OP sounds resentful and bitter and I'm not so sure why her neighbors balance sheet is of any consequence.

I think it's because deep down she knows they're living life and she wishes she had more courage to live in the present.

I agree with PP. it's none of your business how they spend or waste their $.
If you feel taken advantage of, you need to say no next time they ask for a favor.

I never understand people like the OP who obsess about other people's financial situation. I would look at it this way:

-When they ask, am I willing to watch their kids or pets?

My answer is independent of their cash flow issues. The OP sounds resentful and bitter and I'm not so sure why her neighbors balance sheet is of any consequence.

Anonymous wrote:If they help you also, then keep helping them. It is not about how much money they have, it is about the friendship.

But I get the need to vent.

I agree with this. Hopefully they'll wake up to reality.

If they help you also, then keep helping them. It is not about how much money they have, it is about the friendship.

But I get the need to vent.

I thought OP was going a different way. With my sister, it seems that I 'play the poor card' as she says and then she criticizes my every spending habit. But, our HHI are VERY different (she's at least 4 times ours) and she's never had to make ends meet the way we do. When she asks us to do a girls night out or go away for a weekend and I say it's not in our budget, she'll bring up the fact that I bought my kids clothing or bought them a toy or did some 'want' repair to the home and not a 'need' repair. It get's annoying but there is no other way to say sorry, we can't go away that weekend- she'll choose another one.

But, we are not vacationing and I think that taking out a loan for a vacation has hot mess finances written all over it. Everyone has different priorities but it seems they need a reality check!

Have you tried to talk to them about it? Kind of then did you see in the news the family that lost everything type thing. I know it's hard but once my sister finally bitched me out, I've never said another word about finances...she still tries to tell me how to spend my money though.

Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.

Maybe put their names on mailing list for reputable debt counseling agencies? (only kidding)

I know what you are saying, OP. I know a few of those. I just don't understand *anyone* who tries to talk money - either bragging or crying poor mouth. It makes no sense. I know people who are just dying to know about others pennies. I tell them they sell crack or robbed a bank. That way, if they spread the rumor, we know where it came from!

You aren't their parents, you aren't responsible for them, and you have your own family to take care of. When you need something, who is going to take care of you? Call this selfish, I get tired of takers *very* quickly! I suggest you do the same.

It makes life much nicer to not have to hear about others wanting handouts. They are adults, they can make their own sacrifices like the rest of us. Its really not a big concept to understand.

Those who *have to* have this or that are just going to have to suck it up like the rest of us.

Do not put yourself out (baby-sitting, pet-sitting, meal-paying, etc) for these people.

You are funding their cancellation fees and new gizmos right now. Is that how much you are worth to them?

I know a couple who say they are broke, living from paycheck to paycheck, but then they take out loans to go on splurge vacations.

Guess this is more of a vent

I've had these friends for almost 20 years. They always had money until a few years ago. Now they are having to realize the error in spending BUT
aside from constantly stating they have no money they haven't changed much. I know they have had a few bad years so I try too help when I can. Basically pay for meals, take care of their animals for free (while they are away) watch their kids at night for free. It's more like a family thing. Cause they help me too when they can.
But they are constantly going on vacations. If its not the adults (me left with kids) or all of them (me left with pets)
This summer they are staying almost two months in their summer house (they have been trying to sell).
Just last weekend the adults went on a long romantic vacation. And three weeks before that they did the same thing.
It's electronics too. They have never waited for their phone contracts to expire -just pay the cancellation fee and get new ones for the whole family (6 total) or ipads new one comes out they are the first to get them. Or the gizmos that go with them.

I'm really tired of feeling sorry for them. I'm tired of hearing oh I can't do this or that I'm so broke.
Ugh. They (both husband and wife) have been my friends fir 20 years and I wont end the friendship because of it. Its just becoming draining.

Sorry this is a vent.