Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't be comfortable living off of another adult.

Spoken like a true American. This attitude is very foreign to the average non-American.

no, in Europe, marriage rates have dropped. This isn't an "american" attitude; it's a post-modern attitude. This attitude is foreign in undeveloped countries, but it is not foreign in developed countries, including Europe, Scandinavia, Canada, et cetera. That is why those countries have better maternity leave policies -- because they support working women and don't expect women to become dependents on husbands.

What about part-time, one kid is already in school and the younger one will be soon. What about just working school hours?

If you kids were younger, I'd say quit, but they will both be in school soon and you probably want the 3 year old to be in a some kind of morning preschool now.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't be comfortable living off of another adult.

Spoken like a true American. This attitude is very foreign to the average non-American.

Yeah, even when we enter partnerships, even sacred ones, we're always looking out for No. 1. It's no wonder our divorce rate is so high.

No, it's a chicken and egg thing. Our generation witnessed a high divorce rate among parents. It is BECAUSE OF the divorce rate that a lot of people in our generation are squeamish about depending on another adult. period.

I've seen too many women trapped in bad situations (ranging from just miserable/unhappy to full on abusive) because they didn't have the means to support themselves. And the sad truth is that once you leave the work force for a couple of years, it's very difficult to jump back in, especially in the new economy.

I also not only grew up in a family with a father who frequently faced the threat of layoffs, but not too long ago, my spouse faced an unexpected threat of layoff. We live in very uncertain economic times. Add to that the fact that housing is very expensive and with bubbles and bursts, the possibility of being underwater in a mortgage is high, and it makes people far less mobile to move for jobs.

But all of that said, if this woman was making 60k a year and her spouse making 400k (i can't even imagine having an HHI of even HALF of that), then not only should they have significant joint savings, but she should also have significant personal savings. So I think the whole being dependent on another person thing is less of a concern (unless, of course, they live beyond their means).

But seriously if someone has been making that much of an HHI for any length of time, they should have their mortgage paid off and significant savings to cushion and blow.

I almost find the OP's post kind of offensive, as most women are struggling with the choice of putting their kid in daycare just to pay the bills or quitting and being on the edge of poor.

Anonymous wrote:How did you know if was worth it? I'm not talking about the intangible benefits of staying home and being with your kids, but rather the lost income from stepping away from the work force. I currently make about $140K. After 401K, FSA dependent care, health insurance, taxes, and misc minor deductions, I clear about $60K per year. DH earns around $500K. We live off of his salary and we bank my free and clear money. I know the simple answer is that I can afford to give up my job. But I would be giving up 20 years of $60K (and growing) of investment for retirement. We both max out our work 401ks, the kids college funds each have $50K in them; the kids are 3 and 6. The house will be paid for before we retire.

So DCUMers....is it worth it?

I usually try to tell people to live without the salary for at least 6 months to see if they can do it. You are already there. Keep saving for college, keep saving for retirement. You can put $$ into an IRA for you when you are at home. We have three piles of money. ONe is straight retirement (401ks/IRAs...), one is straight college, one combined once the others have been maxed out. We put in enough college designated money for both to go to instate universities, each, sleep, buy books... and put the rest in the mixed pot in case one or both go private or out of state .

How many other at home parents are there in your neighbor with same age children? Even one year can make a difference.
How easy is it to go back to work in your profession?
What hobbies do you have outside of work and family?
Do your children have any special needs? (this is what flipped us from being dual working to woh/sah)
Is part time an option?
With your HHI, still hire an every other week house cleaner.

Being home with your child = priceless

Best choice I ever made!

I would do it op. Yes you are giving up $$ but what you are gaining is priceless. Besides, you are not putting your family through hardship since your husband earns more than enough to comfortably support your family based on your descriotion.
I would definitely do it and I wish with all my hear that I could.

Anonymous wrote:You can definitely afford it financially given your husband's salary.

So I think you need to focus on the intangibles.

+1

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't be comfortable living off of another adult.

What a peculiar world view. Marriage is not living off someone. It's creating a single economic unit, a partnership.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't be comfortable living off of another adult.

Spoken like a true American. This attitude is very foreign to the average non-American.

Yeah, even when we enter partnerships, even sacred ones, we're always looking out for No. 1. It's no wonder our divorce rate is so high.

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't be comfortable living off of another adult.

Spoken like a true American. This attitude is very foreign to the average non-American.

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't be comfortable living off of another adult.

What a peculiar world view. Marriage is not living off someone. It's creating a single economic unit, a partnership.

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't be comfortable living off of another adult.

Nor would I.

The amount you are bringing in is NOT insignificant. I wouldn't do it.

I wouldn't be comfortable living off of another adult.

You can definitely afford it financially given your husband's salary.

So I think you need to focus on the intangibles.

How did you know if was worth it? I'm not talking about the intangible benefits of staying home and being with your kids, but rather the lost income from stepping away from the work force. I currently make about $140K. After 401K, FSA dependent care, health insurance, taxes, and misc minor deductions, I clear about $60K per year. DH earns around $500K. We live off of his salary and we bank my free and clear money. I know the simple answer is that I can afford to give up my job. But I would be giving up 20 years of $60K (and growing) of investment for retirement. We both max out our work 401ks, the kids college funds each have $50K in them; the kids are 3 and 6. The house will be paid for before we retire.

So DCUMers....is it worth it?