Takes up a lot of time. And I do not enjoy it that much. I like talking with the other parents, but it cuts the day in half. Doing less of it now that they are older.

I do think a lot of this has to do with what you saw in your ow family growing up. My parents for various reasons (some their fault and others not) were a bit checked out of my activities. They made the big stuff, like graduations, major concerts I was in, but rarely tailored their schedules to those of their kids.

So now as a parent I've struggled with this issue. I don't want to be checked out the way they were, but I also feel uncomfortable with the "rah rah" parent types who seem to live for every little thing their kid does on the sports field. I think I'm ambivalent.

I have 2 kids and they are in middle school. I love to go to their games (depending on the weather). I love to be outdoors. I love to watch them play.

But, there are 2 of them and mostly their games conflict in some way so I only go to 1/2 their games. Sometimes both parents but mostly just one is at the game (because they drove them there) but I do think it has to do with schedules/how many kids you have.

My son is getting older now and made a travel team and they take a bus to their games. Parents don't go. I will miss seeing him play. I will probably drive to some.

I don't cheer during games or make comments. I clap for good plays (even for the other team sometimes) - like if a goalie makes a really good stop. I don't really talk much about the game in the car. Maybe that is the difference, I am not hovering.

My son waves to me from the field/court. I give a little thumbs up.

But I like sports. I go to UMD, Georgetown and Navy games also. I am not affiliated with 2 of those schools.

I don't think it is really about pro's and con's - I do what I like. I am not sure how my kids would get to their games if I did not drive them, carpools are complicated, people are coming from different directions and then going in different directions. I will go to one game and then straight to a cookout, for example.

I have made some really good friends on the sidelines of my children's sports teams.

Your family was different from mine. I'd say it was the rare exception that my parents didn't attend our sporting events or recitals or concerts. When I was little, my dad coached my soccer team so he was at every practice as well. I don't recall that they stayed for practices, although assume they did when I was really young.

That being said, what I do think has changed is the problems that have developed on the sidelines. Parents that get way too invested and become abusive of coaches and refs are, in my opinion, the unwelcome evolution.

Anonymous wrote:Growing up, my parents came to my games when they could. Which was not that often. They had to work. But we spent TONS of time as a family at nite and on the weekends. I felt loved. Never felt neglected. And to tell you the truth: HAD NO EXPECTATION that they had to come.

When did this change?

I CERTAINLY see the pro's...

But what about the con's?

For example, I played soccer and volleyball for the love of the game. It was mine. It was for me. And my team. my soul sisters. I LOVED every minute of it. And when my parents could come visit my world, i was glad. But when they couldn't, I paid it no mind.

Are we taking the love of the game away from our kids by micromanaging and attending every game? Will my kid be the only one who doesn't have a parent at every game?

I am curious about your thoughts and experiences...mine are young, so I'm trying to plan how to navigate this. My kids will be "sporty" but not likely superstars. They will play for fun, to learn how to win and lose with grace, etc...there is no indication that they will go further than high school, so it's not that kind of discussion...

Thanks!

I am curious what you mean by tons of time. If you were in school then at sporting events (that they didn't attend) you wouldn't have all been home together until quite late. Did you all stay up until midnight or how did you fit in TONS of time together in the evening with you being in different places?

At least one of my parents attended most, but not all, of my games. I don't think it hurts kids if their parents don't make every single thing--it reminds them that they aren't the center of the universe and that they're capable of succeeding on their own. As long as you make it to the really important stuff, and some of the other stuff, it's fine. I think it also matters why you don't go--if you can't make it because of another obligation (including work), it's not the same as not making it because you just don't care.

Anonymous wrote:We try and make most of the games, but don't go to every game. People need to get a life.

Right because if they support their child and go to all of their games there is no possible time to have a life outside of that

I know someone who drives from New Jersey to Maryland to watch her daughter in a college marching band. Not only to watch her, but she and some of the band parents get together and make the band breakfast on game days. Seems very weird to me. As a middle schooler my parents attended some of my games. That was more than enough for me!

OP, I'm inclined to agree that parents now are typically more involved in attending their kids' games (at least parents in some schools and some social groups -- lots never come to anything, not even academic things -- but that's a different matter).

I will admit that i go to most of my sons' weekend games because I feel pressure to do so -- like all the other parents are there and I'll be the "bad mom" if I don't. To tell you the truth, I'd be so relieved to cut back and just let my son do his thing with his coaches and teammates sometimes. I doubt I will though -- I guess it's a form a peer pressure?

OP - it sounds like that's just the way YOUR life was growing up. The way your parents chose to partake and you just got used to it.

My parents attended all of my games, my concerts, my activities. When my dad traveled for work, of course, he did not come.

It's just choices others make.

My parents came to EVERY SINGLE GAME..and three of us played travel soccer. We also played HS soccer and ran track.

My dad was assistant coach of my travel team. I can't imagine them NOT being there.

I LOVE watching my son's play. However, DH and I are really athletic and we like watching them. I do find I am not so thrilled about going to every practice--but games I love to watch! I am looking forward to the age where I dont have to stay the entire practice--prob next year for my oldest.

I loved having my parents there as a kid and sharing in my triumphs...as well as encouraging when not. My youngest gives me a little hand wave whenever he has a play inT-ball. He has the biggest frickin' smile on his face. I am his biggest fan.

I certainly expect a 'shout out' on my TV screen if they make the big times---ha!

I really think it depends on where you are from. I grew up in the South and everyone participated in children's sports.

We try and make most of the games, but don't go to every game. People need to get a life.

My mom always came to every game but my dad came only when I asked. I just assumed when my DD's are that age I would go to all of their games as well. I don't think it's necessarily a new expectation. The vast majority of my friend's moms came to every game as well. There was no micromanaging or interfering on their part. They were just great cheerleaders. Now this was quite some time ago. Now parents have taken they're involvement into being total jerks.

Growing up, my parents came to my games when they could. Which was not that often. They had to work. But we spent TONS of time as a family at nite and on the weekends. I felt loved. Never felt neglected. And to tell you the truth: HAD NO EXPECTATION that they had to come.

When did this change?

I CERTAINLY see the pro's...

But what about the con's?

For example, I played soccer and volleyball for the love of the game. It was mine. It was for me. And my team. my soul sisters. I LOVED every minute of it. And when my parents could come visit my world, i was glad. But when they couldn't, I paid it no mind.

Are we taking the love of the game away from our kids by micromanaging and attending every game? Will my kid be the only one who doesn't have a parent at every game?

I am curious about your thoughts and experiences...mine are young, so I'm trying to plan how to navigate this. My kids will be "sporty" but not likely superstars. They will play for fun, to learn how to win and lose with grace, etc...there is no indication that they will go further than high school, so it's not that kind of discussion...

Thanks!