Well, candy used to be made from real sugars. Now a lot of it is sweetened modified corn syrup. Junky snacks didn't have GMO corn in them, either.

So, the prior generations had junk that could ruin your appetite and your teeth.... but it wasn't as dangerous to the body as the weird, genetically-altered stuff today. Food dyes, for example.

Also, in the past junk and sweets were available in moderation (diameter of an average cookie was much smaller). A piece of candy was A PIECE, not a bagful. Where can I buy a piece of candy these days?

OP here, just to clarify: we're definitely not the most health-nutty family we know but due to our specific family histories, we cook at home most of the time, with whole ingredients, and abstain from certain foods (refined sugar, white flour, transfats) as best we can. Cake, crackers, etc are not band per se - I did make DD a cake for her birthday - but our notion of "moderation" is a couple times a year, not a couple times a week. So if we were to green light cookies or ice cream for every day that Grandma+Aunties+family friends visit and for every birthday party, then we'd have a lot more junk food in the diet than what is recommended by our Ped, what we would feel comfortable with based on our own health histories, and even more than what the actual grandparents want DD eating. No one wants DD to eat that much junk food either; they just don't realize that they're not the only ones trying offer DD treats.

Oh dear God, let the kid eat a piece of cake. I totally agree that regularly eating processed foods and candy is a bad thing. But what on Earth do you think is going to happen to your 2 year old if they are allowed to eat a piece of cake outside of a birthday? I agree with one of the PP's, do not ruin relationships over this. If your child has some cake and candy at grandma's I promise you she will be totally fine. I grew up with a mom that allowed no sugar in the house. A coke was a special treat we were allowed to have once or twice a year. And you know what, sugar became the forbidden fruit to me. Through my twenties and early thirties I was a candy junkie. Use common sense and don't create a bad situtation for yourself.

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes I fear we're creating a generation of kids who are going to have major food issues.

What ever happened to the concept of moderation?

10:24 here: I agree. We try to feed our kids well at home and then we're elsewhere, we make do. No fresh fruit, that's ok, we will have some tomorrow at lunch at home. No biggie. We hope we are teaching them to make good choices, but also to enjoy, in moderation, other things. And we hope to teach them to be graceful guests, though that one hasn't sunk in yet. And on the flip side of that, if are at grandma's all the food is crap, I have no problem privately talking to my mom and asking her to calm it down a bit.

Sometimes I fear we're creating a generation of kids who are going to have major food issues.

What ever happened to the concept of moderation?

I don't think it's a big deal for kids to have a 'treat' with relatives every now and then. Banning stuff is a sure way to institute food issues (speaking from experience). Sure, I don't give my 2-year-old ice cream at home, but if he has a few licks with grandma I'm not going to make a federal case out of it.

Grandparent thing.

My parents were doing the no sugar, grow your own food, feed your kids carob-thing in the 70s. Now my mom loves to take my daughter out for ice cream and give her cookies.

My mom recently watched the kids for a weekend for us. Kids are 3.5, 18 months. I cooked the meals in advance so my mom wouldn't be overwhelmed. I labeled everything and wrote out what was for each day. When I came home, all the food had been eaten except the veggies (broccoli one night, steamed carrots the next). I asked my mom why she didn't give the kids the veggies. "Things were going so well, I didn't want to rock the boat," was her reply. Except my kids like those things (I swear, they are weird).

I agree with PPs. It's a grandma thing and a generational thing.

Anonymous wrote:My elderly aunt brings my toddlers all sorts of crazy sweets so they will like her and not be so afraid of her. I think it's sweet and I offer the kids the candy even though I wouldn't give them candy myself. The relationship with older family members is more important than a few candies that will not make any difference in their lives over the long term.

I appreciate where you're coming from but I had health problems as a child based on the diet I was fed. My husband continues to have health problems and struggle with controlling his food intake, which was largely influenced by relatives insisting "just one more cookie, I only get to visit every X weeks" but when you have a lot of relatives, who each visit for weeks at a time, all those "just one" cookie/brownie/candy really add up.

There are plenty of bonding opportunities outside the exchange of candy/sweets so I'm confident this won't damage their relationship with their grandparents. I welcome recommendations on how *I* won't offend people, but know that it won't cause any issues with my child's relationship with these loving people in their lives.

I love that over 50 is considered a few generations ago. I feel so old.

As a representative of the over 50 crowd, we eat primarily whole grains, organic, fruits and vegetables, very little red meat (can't remember the last time we had it in fact), etc. My kids make healthy food choices on their own. But I am also of the view that small amounts of processed food every once in a while will not kill my kids. I think once she turns two you may need to lighten up a tad. No one is saying she has to eat cookies every day, but eating a cookie when you are visiting relatives will probably not do permanent harm.

Anonymous wrote:This is 10:05 again. OP, just give the baby the junk food. Please don't spoil a relationship over this. You are a good parent and your child will be fine nutritionally. These relationships are so important to children.

Do you mean 10:09? I'm OP.

This is 10:05 again. OP, just give the baby the junk food. Please don't spoil a relationship over this. You are a good parent and your child will be fine nutritionally. These relationships are so important to children.

My elderly aunt brings my toddlers all sorts of crazy sweets so they will like her and not be so afraid of her. I think it's sweet and I offer the kids the candy even though I wouldn't give them candy myself. The relationship with older family members is more important than a few candies that will not make any difference in their lives over the long term.

OP, without being in the shoes of the people offering the stuff, this is just my best guess:

1.) it's a grandma thing.

2.) in terms of processed foods, a few generations ago, these products were a Godsend for women who were perpetually tied to their kitchens.

Grandparents, great-aunts, everyone over 50, seem to be offering my 1.5 year old cookies, ice cream, brownies, fruit juice, cake - if it's junk food, they think DD will like it! One relative who's hosting us specifically bought fruit loops to accommodate us. Another made candy from scratch for her, which was really sweet but she couldn't eat it. Is this just a generational thing where they really think it's normal for a < 2 year old to eat processed sugar daily or is this part of the 'grandparents/old people get to spoil the baby' mentality? So far, there haven't been any fights over it because I've been able to say "oh, we haven't introduced juice yet, she's still just a baby" or "She's had a rash lately, we don't want to introduce anything new right now" but we don't ever plan on having juice/cake/cookies as a part of the daily mix so what will I say when she turns 2 without offending people?

If I say "we don't really eat cake except at birthday parties" then that opens the door for "well, grandma's visit is more special than a birthday party!" If I say "we don't eat processed sugar in our family" it kind of sounds condescending, right? Especially when these people have specifically made sweets for our daughter from scratch or brought them as gifts. It just doesn't occur to our relatives that we wouldn't give our 1 year old sweets, even though this is nothing new on our part. I made all my own baby food when we were first starting solids, so I've been very consistent in that baby's food is healthy, made from whole ingredients, and doesn't have added salt or sugar. Maybe I should be more proactive - "if you'd like to offer sweets on our upcoming visit, feel free to stock up on dates"?