Anonymous wrote:I don't have any friends. I used to be very social, have lots of friends, however moved out of state after college and lost most of my friends. Got new friends in my new state just to have them get married and move away as well so now I am 30 and I have zero friends I am not antisocial, but all of my friends live out of state, and I feel like the older you are the harder it is to find people you click with. I desperately want friends but besides my coworkers I dont know anyone where I live fml

+1

Anonymous wrote: OP does your husband want friends? He may be an introvert,

'

I don't know. I think he would want to, but is intimidated and doesn't want to make an effort. He enjoys very much the social interactions that I arrange with my friends and acquaintances.
My MIL is very very lonely. But she won't make any effort either.

Anonymous wrote:Didn't you notice he didn't have friends when you were dating?

Nope, I didn't. We were dating in a different country and different setting.

I don't think it's your job to fill her void, assuming she has a void, but if you have extra time, it's a nice thing to do.

Some people are very introverted and some people are content without friends.

I don't have any friends. I used to be very social, have lots of friends, however moved out of state after college and lost most of my friends. Got new friends in my new state just to have them get married and move away as well so now I am 30 and I have zero friends I am not antisocial, but all of my friends live out of state, and I feel like the older you are the harder it is to find people you click with. I desperately want friends but besides my coworkers I dont know anyone where I live fml

+2, how many woman have posted" I don't need anymore friends" or "my friend circle is full.. blah blah blah- it goes both ways

Anonymous wrote:I don't have any close friends. You know those families that look normal on the outside but behind closed doors there's a ton of really fucked up stuff going on? That was my family growing up. I was socially awkward and my mother created a slew of hoops to jump through in order to go to a friend's house or have a friend over, so it almost never happened.

I'm better now, and have people I sometimes meet with for lunch or whatever, but no close friends. I don't chat on the phone with friends. Nobody would bring me soup if I were sick or help with groceries if I broke a leg. My cell phone can go days without ringing.

My facebook page has about 85 friends and half are family members.

It's a shame really, because I'd make a GREAT friend. But everybody's set already with their friends. Nobody's looking for a good friend in me.

+1

Work and family...not work and fily.

10:02 wrote exactly what I was thinking. That was my life growing up, and also how it is today--I do make efforts to have friends, but it takes time. OP does your husband want friends? He may be an introvert, so between work and fily that may be all the socializing he can handle.

Because they are still sucking on a pacifier and using a bottle.

I think people don't realize how much work it is having friends. They want someone else to make the plans, initiate contact, etc. They don't want to travel long distances to see old friends, give up vacation time, spend money, etc. It's a 2-way street and sometimes, depending on where people are in their life, it's a 1-way street where you're doing all the work. If it's important to you to have friends, you'll do the work. If not, you sit home.

I don't have any close friends. You know those families that look normal on the outside but behind closed doors there's a ton of really fucked up stuff going on? That was my family growing up. I was socially awkward and my mother created a slew of hoops to jump through in order to go to a friend's house or have a friend over, so it almost never happened.

I'm better now, and have people I sometimes meet with for lunch or whatever, but no close friends. I don't chat on the phone with friends. Nobody would bring me soup if I were sick or help with groceries if I broke a leg. My cell phone can go days without ringing.

My facebook page has about 85 friends and half are family members.

It's a shame really, because I'd make a GREAT friend. But everybody's set already with their friends. Nobody's looking for a good friend in me.

Didn't you notice he didn't have friends when you were dating?

Do they actually WANT friends?

My husband has no friends. Well, really just one that he occasionally talks on the phone to and very rarely sees. If it wasn't for my friends and acquaintances we would not have any social life.

I noticed that it runs in his family. His father spend his years by working and coming home to sit by himself in front of the TV. His sisters and brother don't have friends outside of work. I noticed that many people live like that actually.

His mom is very lonely. She volunteers a lot, sings in a church chorus, but yet she doesn't have any friends. She gets resentful that we don't see her more often. The rest of the family moved far away from her and come up for holidays. We live the closest, but still pretty far away from her, and are busy with our life. We try to see her at least once a week, but she doesn't make any effort herself. She never initiates coming to our house. She just sits at home and lets the resentment build up.

So in general, do you think it's our job to fill this hole in her life? And why don't people acquire close friends?