Are you kidding me? It is her body not yours. I got Epstein Barr after a vaccine once. My god.

Anonymous wrote:I understand the need to minimize risks, but forcing shots on your relatives is just too much. If you take your child outside the house before they're a year old they're going to be exposed to people who haven't had the tdap shot. I can't take the shot and I couldn't let dd take it because of a history of reactions to the pertussis vaccine in our family. I never even thought about about this when I visit friends with newborns. PPs, do I need to wear a sign around my neck so that you know to stay away?

I wish you would.

If a newborn contracts pertussis, there is a strong chance such newborn will die. If you don't want to get vaccinated, that is your choice. But you won't be holding my baby. Don't discuss it. This is the only thing I have taken a hard line on. I let the grandparents give the kids junk food, keep them up late, watch tv, etc. But this was my hill to die on.

I understand the need to minimize risks, but forcing shots on your relatives is just too much. If you take your child outside the house before they're a year old they're going to be exposed to people who haven't had the tdap shot. I can't take the shot and I couldn't let dd take it because of a history of reactions to the pertussis vaccine in our family. I never even thought about about this when I visit friends with newborns. PPs, do I need to wear a sign around my neck so that you know to stay away?

I'm a PP and I would be way direct and less understanding with my own mother. It has to do with safety, a deadly disease and a simple shot. Not control. My dearly loved MIL has passed away but I could see her being funny with shots so I would have had DH talk to her. With some education I'm sure a reasonable GP would understand.

Some of you are beyond belief and it has everything to do with control over your MIL. Never complaint about your owm mother.

I am super pro vaccine and would prefer to have only vaccinated people around my child. Nevertheless, I would not prohibit my MIL from being around my child if she didn't get her booster. However, you mention that she lived in an area where there was an outbreak, so I think in this case you would be justified.

We didn't allow any unvaccinated family to visit until our twins had had two rounds of vaccinations and flu season was over. Whoever thinks not getting vaccinated is more important than seeing the babies can wait. They were preemies, though, but I don't think I would have thought much differently if they had been full term.

Oh, for pity sake, have her wash her hands b/f she holds the baby.

If your baby is high risk, e.g., a premie, then take more precautions. I think you might be over-reacting a bit.

With my last child, my MIL refused to get the TDAP vaccine. I sent her literature, told her my doctor recommended it, etc. She "doesn't like needles" and didn't want to do it. I thought that was incredibly selfish, but that's me.
That was two and a half years ago. Now pertussis is more prevalent, and the vaccine is more mainstream. I am pregnant again. If she doesn't want to get it again, that's fine, but she won't be staying in my house or spending significant time with the baby until the baby gets the first round of vaccinations. I'm not trying to punish her, I'm just trying to do what is safest for my baby.

Make her bring the receipt of services rendered from the doctor's office.

I would have DH do it. I don't think it's an acceptable risk, especially with an outbreak. So I think a little friendly scare tactic is worth it.

What are you going to do, OP, demand to check her arm for a needle mark?

I am one of the few posters who feels that demanding that your relatives get these shots OR ELSE is a step too far. You can ask them, politely, and if they do, that's very kind of them, and if they don't, it's a relatively small risk.

can you make dh tell her instead?

She kind of glossed over it when we brought it up recently, and I know she hates going to the doctor and is scared of needles. Should I just go the scare tactic route and send her a bunch of literature on whooping cough and infants? I think that would be incredibly bitchy, but perhaps effective. She lives in an area that has had an outbreak in the past several years and I really need her to get the shot.