My 20 month old is getting the concept of sharing now but it is something we have reinforced since he was very young. He will offer to share without being prompted and if we cue him he is pretty good at it. OP at 5 -8 months you don't need to do anything. By 10-12 months you can start to reinforce it by talking through what you are doing and explaining how sharing works. For us by 15 months we were actively supporting sharing behavior - reminding him what to do, modeling it, and having him go through the steps. As I said he has caught on himself in the last month or so and you can see that he gets the concept. He is a pretty socially attuned child though in general and based on what others have said, he may be on the early side to grasp this.

That reminds me of a mom on the playground who told her 6 year old bratty daughter to share. Her definition of sharing was to have her 6 year old play with a toy my 18 month old wanted to play with. When my child cried, she snottily said: "Give it back, he is really bad at sharing."

DUH!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you serious? You need to consult the internet over this? Society is doomed.

This is exactly what I was thinking.

And, when my kid takes a toy from yours and I don't respond how you feel is socially appropruate, there is no room for snotty comments from either of you. Then again, I wouldn't hang out with moms like you anyway.

Good. I try not to hang out with people who clearly lack common sense, so we'll both be happy.

My kids are not babies anymore. They'd gladly hand over their toys to play with a baby, though. They like babies.

Someday when you are not a panicked new mother, you will look back on this and wonder what the hell you were so worried about. Just calm down. Raising babies isn't rocket science, and if you're hanging out with people who would make snotty comments over something a BABY did, maybe you need to find new friends.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you serious? You need to consult the internet over this? Society is doomed.

This is exactly what I was thinking.

And, when my kid takes a toy from yours and I don't respond how you feel is socially appropruate, there is no room for snotty comments from either of you. Then again, I wouldn't hang out with moms like you anyway.

Anonymous wrote:Are you serious? You need to consult the internet over this? Society is doomed.

You obviously missed the point of these forums and the internet. I can ask a stupid question if I want to. Thanks for being an ass.

And in other shocking news...

Anonymous wrote:Are you serious? You need to consult the internet over this? Society is doomed.

This is exactly what I was thinking.

Sharing is not developmentally appropriate until age 3, although lots of misguided parents start forcing it at 18 months. I've noticed those children are the MOST resistant to sharing when they get older. Sharing requires empathy and an awareness of fairness, as well as a certain level of self regulation.

Younger than 15 months: you take toy and put it back in original owners hands, distract your child

15-24 months: you guide your child's hands to gently return toy, saying "that's Johnny's" so your child learns the concept of "ownership". You sit with your child and shadow her at playdates.

24-30 months: begin "taking turns" using a simple instruction like "Johnny drive to the tree and back, now jake drive to the tree and back". Also teach your child to put away any toys they don't want others to use. You can also say, "Johnny was using that, lets find another toy. (Wait) Oh! It's free now. Do you want a turn now?" Model sharing with your child, "I'll share my cookie with you".

30-48 months: begin teaching verbal negotiation strategies, "may I have a turn please?", coach child to find other solutions if she wants the toy (find another toy, ask for turn, ask for help, use a timer, etc). Coach ways to deal with frustration like deep breathing or taking a break. Model these situations at home all the time.

Overall, be patient! Sharing isn't natural and kids don't really get it until they become aware that it affects if they are liked or have friends. Don't become one of those annoying parents trailing after their toddler and commanding "Share!"

Are you serious? You need to consult the internet over this? Society is doomed.

+1 to all of the above.

I give the toy back to the baby and give my baby something else to play with. Of course she doesn't know any better, so I just distract her. Half the time the other baby doesn't even notice and just grabs something else.

You have a long time before sharing is possible. I usually take it and give it back. Or the mom I'm with will often say 'oh it's fine!' And give it back to my baby.

They will know its wrong to take the toy MUCH sooner than they will be able to resist the urge/impulse to do so. My 3.5 year old isn't the best at sharing despite my best efforts.

Don't sweat it until the little ones start to notice. When that happens, "so and so is playing with it now" usually works when combined with another alternative.

If your baby takes a toy from another baby at a playdate, or if another baby takes a toy from your baby, what should I do? What is ettiquette? I mean, they are babies (5 to 8 months). I don't expect them to know manners at this point or be able to understand. Other, slightly older babies, have taken her toy before. But, I am obviously going to eventually have to respond to teach DD how to share, and I am also going to be one of two parents who will need to respond when this happens in the future. Do you take the toy and give it back to the child pkaying with it? What age do you start to do that? Do you do it now, even though it is understandavle for them to not know better?