OP, I *do* know something of DIY home improvement. I've built furniture, tiled walls, painted and papered walls, and done a lot of stuff. I used to do a lot of projects in our last house. However, when we moved into our new home, we built a new home with most of the amenities and most work done by the builder. Why? We were planning to expand our family. We now have toddler twins and frankly, I've been able to do about 10% of what I used to do. Unless you budget to contract out a lot of the work, you can expect that you'll get about one "project" done per year, at most, with two young kids unless one of you does all the childcare and the other one works on the projects.

So, when you talk about a fixer-upper, are you willing to live with most of the "projects" undone for many years? When trying to consider this, think about doing one project a year and living with the rest of those unfinished or old features for year after year. Are you willing to live with these things that long?

Yall need to stop over extending and just accept the fact you have to dial down where you should live. Nothing worst than being the poorest in the entire neighborhood. We did this and are in the upper hhi of our neighborhood and don't feel like having to keep up with the jones. Just make sure public schools are good.

We just went throught the house hunting process and I understand what you want. But, I have an almost 2 and almost 4 year old and had to realize this is not the time for a gut job where I can spend hours tiling floors, etc. What we did was buy something that needs updating. Trust me, there is still plenty of work but the house is structurally sound, the walls are not cracked and the roof is not leaking. Our house needs landscaping, a new door, new shutters, new paint, floors to be refinished, mantles for the fireplaces, built ins, etc.

Everything adds up and unless you have a lot of money to put in, you will not want to do this. It's easy to forget how tired you are with a newborn and the adjusting older child- refinishing floors and painting walls will be the last thing on your mind.

You will regret it 100 times over unless you have a lot of cash. And if you did, why not buy a better house?

We did it with a 2yo and one on the way but we had cash to pay for renovations and stayed in our apartment for 3 extra months. We didn't have money to landscape so we are just trying to keep it mowed and neat. So far we are happy because we know we couldnt have afforded this neighborhood otherwise. We bought the worst house on the block. Now it's maybe the fifth worst house on the block, at least from the outside. We bought for $550k.

Second the concerns about lead dust. A DC urban mom would be most concerned with "failure at school" and "reduced IQ."

Possible lead poison complications include:

Behavior or attention problems
Failure at school
Hearing problems
Kidney damage
Reduced IQ
Slowed body growth

The symptoms of lead poisoning may include:

Abdominal pain and cramping (usually the first sign of a high, toxic dose of lead poison)
Aggressive behavior
Anemia
Constipation
Difficulty sleeping
Headaches
Irritability
Loss of previous developmental skills (in young children)
Low appetite and energy
Reduced sensations

Very high levels of lead may cause vomiting, staggering walk, muscle weakness, seizures, or coma.

Trust me, when we were looking, I was tempted by the same. Ultimately, with the same toddler situation, work, full time grad school for me, we made a MUCH smarter decision and spent more on a completely renovated, very well maintained house. House maintenance and decorating take up enough time as it is. Complete renovation would send you straight to the loony bin.

Do you have a lot of cash? Will someone else be doing the work? Don'tdo DIY with a new baby. Too much conflict. If you are rich and just have to select paint chips and hire a landscape designer then go for it.

Do you plan on living in it during the fixing up period? If yes, then you are out of your mind. I would be very concerned about the dust (lead, asbestos, general construction dust) and paint fumes floating through the house with very small children, or really anyone, living there. Renovation brings the word 'filth' to a whole new level. You can't escape it.

If you aren't going to live there, then simply dealing with the stress of working with contractors might be enough to say its a bad idea when you layer on top of that the toddler and one on the way. I did significant renovations to my house while working full time and then had a now toddler and a baby so I have lived through both of theses events and I would never voluntarily do them at th same time.

If you don't plan on living there and you plan on contracting out everything, then it's doable. Otherwise you get an emphatic no from me.

Just HOW big of a fixer upper? And how much has to be done *now*? If the answers are Big and Most Of It, don't do it - you won't have the time for it all right now.

If, however, it's currently livable but has potential for upgrades down the line, then consider it.

To put it in perspective, we just bought a house that needs infrastructure improvements (water heater, HVAC) as well as some cosmetic updating. We are doing some of that work before we even move in, including a kitchen remodel, I only work PT, my kids are a bit older (3 & 5), and I really LIKE planning out new layouts, etc. And it is still a lotof stress / time. With your situation it just sounds like too much unless it can wait.

Smart decision.. not the right time in life.

Anonymous wrote:Don't do it. Your children deserve your attention, not your computer, which you will spend endless hours on deciding on this and that. You will have way more stress, disorientation, too much change for kids, conflict with your husband about finishes, money, etc... Life is short and children are precious. Don't even think about it.

Thank you. That's what I needed.

Don't do it. Your children deserve your attention, not your computer, which you will spend endless hours on deciding on this and that. You will have way more stress, disorientation, too much change for kids, conflict with your husband about finishes, money, etc... Life is short and children are precious. Don't even think about it.

Anonymous wrote:We are looking at a pretty intense fixer-upper. I know in my head it's not a smart decision -- we have a 17 month old kid, another one on the way, full-time jobs, and no real knowledge of contracting/home fixing/etc. I keep getting blinded by the dazzle of getting to choose my own finishes, reconfiguring the layout, and generally making some money (long-term) off of this house.

So which is right, my head or my greedy little heart?

You are out of your mind.

We are looking at a pretty intense fixer-upper. I know in my head it's not a smart decision -- we have a 17 month old kid, another one on the way, full-time jobs, and no real knowledge of contracting/home fixing/etc. I keep getting blinded by the dazzle of getting to choose my own finishes, reconfiguring the layout, and generally making some money (long-term) off of this house.

So which is right, my head or my greedy little heart?