Dh just completed an out of town job search. Everyone knew he was out of town bc he used his network or a headhunter for introductions. A couple of places flew him out for an interview (after an initial phone interview). For the others that said, "let us know when you'll be in the area", he would give them a date and then booked a ticket with miles. He wasn't looking on the west coast so it was easier to do a day trip and he just took vacation days. He also made it clear upfront that he wasn't looking for a relo package. He got the job he wanted. Good luck op.

Another thing you might consider is taking separate one week vacations out there, ie, you for one week and DH during another week. Before you go, send in your resume and follow up the day or two before you leave. Then see if you can schedule an interview while you're there.

OP here. Thanks, glad to hear I am not the only one. I could absolutely use a relative's information if it would help. Is the general feeling that they won't look at an out-of-town resume?

I forgot to even ask about interviewing... that is definitely one thing that keeps me up nights. I am not really ready to tell my current job that I'm looking and it's tough to manage local interviews let alone something that involves flying cross-country. Ugh.

Re. executive search firms, should I just pick one off the internet?

DON'T quit your job and find one when you get there. At least not both of you. My husband and I did this and it was a total nightmare. Spent thousands upon thousands of our savings and were pushed to the brink relationship-wise.
We had done it pre-kid and pre-recession and it was a great adventure; post recession and post kid, it was a horrible, scary free-fall. It is tough to find a job across the country; you have to be willing to travel out there for an interview which will be costly. Recruiters can be helpful but likely will have tons of local people they can put in for a position that won't have to fly across the country on short notice to interview.
One thing I suggest is using the address of a family member that lives in the area on your resume. Good luck! I know how you feel!

Can you use a relative's local address and phone # (or just get a local cell phone or IP phone #)? And then use frequent flyer points if you have them for an interview.

I'm in the process of doing this. I know my industry and where to look for jobs, so I've applied directly for positions that fit me and my expertise. You can also look up executive search firms in that area and submit your resume to them. Many of them welcome this and you are likely to get a response if you are a prospective fit for any of their searches.

Our plan is for both of us to start looking and to begin the process of putting our house on the market once one of us has a job lined up. I think our house here will sell quickly due to low inventory in our price bracket and location. If one of us has to stay with family temporarily while the other wraps up loose ends here, that's what we'll do, even if it means that one of us is separated from our son for a time. I don't think there's any quick and easy way to move your whole life at this age and when a family is involved. You kinda just have to do it.

I really want to move x-country to be closer to my family. I would pick up and move and find jobs when we get there, but my DH is risk averse and isn't completely on-board with leaving the area (and we have a young child which complicates things). If I find a good job out there and create the beachhead, I think we will make it happen. I just don't know how to do that from across the country. Headhunter? Just send resumes and see if anything sticks?

I have been wanting to change jobs for a while but have hesitated to look around here because it feels like committing to this area and I don't want to be here long-term (we have the same issue with buying our next house). And if I'm honest I don't totally know what I want to do. I have good experience, MBA, and PMP, so I should be employable, but I am kind of a jack of all trades master of none which makes thinking about my next job a little tough (I am a consultant but want to get out for lifestyle reasons). I've considered trying to transfer internally - my company has offices in CA, but they're not the city I want to be in, and I'm getting increasingly unhappy at work anyhow. A family member has a potential health issue (nothing serious but I'd still like to be closer to them!) and with the feeling that I'd like to change jobs sooner rather than later it's kind of feeling more urgent right now...

Any advice would be much appreciated. I just feel stuck... in my job, in my house, etc and I'm trying to figure out how to take control and be happier.