Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because money is what's given, PP. The money is put into an account for college- the 13 yr old isn't going on a shopping spree or anything immediate.

Gift grab
As a standard rule it is rude to inquire how much a gift cost, so money is not a nice gift. As it is a friends child, an this obviously not a culture or custom you are engrossed in, I think you could follow the more elegant custom of giving a present.
A child might remember who gave what gift, but not who gave what amount.

Wow, you clearly have no concept of how bar/bat mitzvahs work. You give money. As the PP said, it goes into an account for college. You are helping celebrate this child becoming a man/woman and helping pay for their education (even in a small way) which is a major value in Judaism. Please don't impose your own cultural values (money is not a nice gift) on someone else's tradition.

Anonymous wrote:Because money is what's given, PP. The money is put into an account for college- the 13 yr old isn't going on a shopping spree or anything immediate.

Gift grab
As a standard rule it is rude to inquire how much a gift cost, so money is not a nice gift. As it is a friends child, an this obviously not a culture or custom you are engrossed in, I think you could follow the more elegant custom of giving a present.
A child might remember who gave what gift, but not who gave what amount.

Anonymous wrote:$324

What a square!

Because money is what's given, PP. The money is put into an account for college- the 13 yr old isn't going on a shopping spree or anything immediate.

A bit too young to receive expensive presents. Give movie tickets, or anything else
Why money?

Multiple of $18 ... which multiple depends on how close you are to the family!

$324

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Really, 18? For such a major event? I always give like its a wedding.

I use to think/give this way until my kids hit middle school. I don't have wedding like money budgeted for every other wknd for 2 years.

Good point.

Family or Kid's friend? Kid's friend..generous birthday gift. Probably 36 or maybe a non-monetary gift. Family..more 50+ (depending on circumstances of course)

Anonymous wrote:Really, 18? For such a major event? I always give like its a wedding.

I use to think/give this way until my kids hit middle school. I don't have wedding like money budgeted for every other wknd for 2 years.

Really, 18? For such a major event? I always give like its a wedding.

OP here, so glad I asked, thanks!

Any multiple of 18 works. The Hebrew letters that make up the word "chai" represent 18. The word means "life." "L'chaim means "to life" and is is a common toast like "salud" or "cheers."

standard amount is $18 or $36. It's a good-luck number in Judaism (the letters that spell "life" have numerological value that adds up to 18, so 18=life and 36=double life).

any standard amount? $50? this is a friend's child not relative