Anonymous
04/19/2013 10:39
Subject: Long term affects - good or bad - of holding back from kindergarten
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:
Come back when your kid hits middle school and report back on how he's doing. Thats when the difference really shows up.
I have met many parents who are trying to figure out how to get their kid to lose a year as they approach high school (changing schools is about the best and only way). They are proud that their kid is so smart when they start out but they see them struggle socially and in sports later.
+2
If your small boy is bookish and not interested in athletics, maybe he won't care as much.
But if he's small yet athletic, it's a big problem come middle school and high school.
Schadenfreude, anyone?
No one can predict what your kid's needs will be ten years from now. Do what's right for her or him now. If your child's biggest problem is not making varsity in high school, you have done a great job.
Anonymous
04/19/2013 10:37
Subject: Long term affects - good or bad - of holding back from kindergarten
Holding back spring birthdays is ridiculous. We sent both of our summer birthday kids on time and they are doing great.
Anonymous
04/19/2013 09:59
Subject: Long term affects - good or bad - of holding back from kindergarten
I am sick of people holding back April and May babies, too. It is getting out of control. Do you realize they will be 19 when they are in HS?
To the PP above, just because the kids were sitting still now, doesn't mean they were in September.
It just seems at first Aug/Sept babies were hold backs, but now there are April and May and June holdbacks. Where does it end? And seriously, they will be 19 in HS?!! I know of girls and boys. Do you think it is a good idea to have a 19 old in HS? Think of the implications there.
To the PP above, just because the kids were sitting still now, doesn't mean they were in September.
It just seems at first Aug/Sept babies were hold backs, but now there are April and May and June holdbacks. Where does it end? And seriously, they will be 19 in HS?!! I know of girls and boys. Do you think it is a good idea to have a 19 old in HS? Think of the implications there.
Anonymous
04/19/2013 09:58
Subject: Long term affects - good or bad - of holding back from kindergarten
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My son is small -- like 5th percentile small and he's an end of July bday (so he's the 5th percentile for kids who were born in JULY!!). But, he's a full year ahead in reading and math. He's was bored in kindy and is now bored in 1st grade. He's not a genius or profoundly gifted. Just a kid who was read to a lot who "gets" numbers and does pretty well with books. Maturity-wise I seriously considered holding him back in the summer before he was supposed to start kinder. His preschool teacher said he was ready to move on.... I was like "really???? Are you SURE??" And she was like "yes. I would tell you different if he wasn't ready."
Well, we bit the bullet and sent him into kinder. So far, it's been fine. In every class there are kids on different social speeds. It's not just the olders hanging together and the youngers hanging together. Kids find the other kids who are on the same level. He seems to get along well in groups both in school and on soccer team.
While it would be nice if he was a Dec./Jan. bday and just as big as all the other kids (instead of being a shrimp). It would have been a real disservice to hold him back academically. He's already scored at the top of the chart for the GT placement test. I can't imagine him being in kindergarten this year.
If your preschool teacher is saying he's ready and/or you think he's ready, but you're just worried about him being small, I'd say don't hold him back. If he's having trouble relating to other kids and/or has trouble responding in class or formulating ideas, then maybe it would be good to hold him back.
Come back when your kid hits middle school and report back on how he's doing. Thats when the difference really shows up.
I have met many parents who are trying to figure out how to get their kid to lose a year as they approach high school (changing schools is about the best and only way). They are proud that their kid is so smart when they start out but they see them struggle socially and in sports later.
+2
If your small boy is bookish and not interested in athletics, maybe he won't care as much.
But if he's small yet athletic, it's a big problem come middle school and high school.
Anonymous
04/19/2013 09:52
Subject: Re:Long term affects - good or bad - of holding back from kindergarten
I'm sorry---but frickin' May, pp???!?!?!!
WTF? That sh*t just pisses me off. I have a late April child and unless he had SERIOUS issues and we were advised by medical professionals there is no way I would even consider holding him back. He's on the smaller side as well.
Really--where do we f*cking draw the line anymore? I have a September kid too, btw.
May, give me a break.
WTF? That sh*t just pisses me off. I have a late April child and unless he had SERIOUS issues and we were advised by medical professionals there is no way I would even consider holding him back. He's on the smaller side as well.
Really--where do we f*cking draw the line anymore? I have a September kid too, btw.
May, give me a break.
Anonymous
04/19/2013 09:26
Subject: Long term affects - good or bad - of holding back from kindergarten
Anonymous wrote:I am struggling with this too. I have a May boy and a July boy that I will have to make decisions on. I visited the kindergarten that May boy would be attending in the fall and discussed my concerns with the school counselor. Ultimately, after watching the children sit so quietly during a lecture in kindergarten, I decided that my May boy will have issues with doing that in the fall and I see no value in forcing it on him. In fact, I view forcing it on him now as a negative. So, he is a no go but I am going to address each one individually.
I would strongly urge you not to base such an important decision on what you saw and what you project your kid to be like. I have been working in elementary schools for over 20 years, first as a teacher and now as an administrator. The amount of growth from September to January and then from January to June is incredible. Kids that could barely sit still and were crying in September were completely different children by January. They were happy and loved coming to school, so their change was not due to punishment and coercion. It's about kids developing appropriately. We don't "force" kids. We provide appropriate breaks and movement throughout the day. For example, kids sit for an engaging read aloud and then spread out throughout the room to write their stories. Some are on the floor, some at tables. They work where they're comfortable. Then they come back together as a group and sit quietly while a couple of classmates share their story.
Don't underestimate the changes that your son will make between now and September. Kids at this age are developing at such a rapid pace in their language, physical growth, social-emotional development and in their cognitive development.
Anonymous
04/19/2013 08:52
Subject: Long term affects - good or bad - of holding back from kindergarten
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My son is small -- like 5th percentile small and he's an end of July bday (so he's the 5th percentile for kids who were born in JULY!!). But, he's a full year ahead in reading and math. He's was bored in kindy and is now bored in 1st grade. He's not a genius or profoundly gifted. Just a kid who was read to a lot who "gets" numbers and does pretty well with books. Maturity-wise I seriously considered holding him back in the summer before he was supposed to start kinder. His preschool teacher said he was ready to move on.... I was like "really???? Are you SURE??" And she was like "yes. I would tell you different if he wasn't ready."
Well, we bit the bullet and sent him into kinder. So far, it's been fine. In every class there are kids on different social speeds. It's not just the olders hanging together and the youngers hanging together. Kids find the other kids who are on the same level. He seems to get along well in groups both in school and on soccer team.
While it would be nice if he was a Dec./Jan. bday and just as big as all the other kids (instead of being a shrimp). It would have been a real disservice to hold him back academically. He's already scored at the top of the chart for the GT placement test. I can't imagine him being in kindergarten this year.
If your preschool teacher is saying he's ready and/or you think he's ready, but you're just worried about him being small, I'd say don't hold him back. If he's having trouble relating to other kids and/or has trouble responding in class or formulating ideas, then maybe it would be good to hold him back.
Come back when your kid hits middle school and report back on how he's doing. Thats when the difference really shows up.
I have met many parents who are trying to figure out how to get their kid to lose a year as they approach high school (changing schools is about the best and only way). They are proud that their kid is so smart when they start out but they see them struggle socially and in sports later.
+1
Anonymous
04/19/2013 08:46
Subject: Long term affects - good or bad - of holding back from kindergarten
Anonymous wrote:My son is small -- like 5th percentile small and he's an end of July bday (so he's the 5th percentile for kids who were born in JULY!!). But, he's a full year ahead in reading and math. He's was bored in kindy and is now bored in 1st grade. He's not a genius or profoundly gifted. Just a kid who was read to a lot who "gets" numbers and does pretty well with books. Maturity-wise I seriously considered holding him back in the summer before he was supposed to start kinder. His preschool teacher said he was ready to move on.... I was like "really???? Are you SURE??" And she was like "yes. I would tell you different if he wasn't ready."
Well, we bit the bullet and sent him into kinder. So far, it's been fine. In every class there are kids on different social speeds. It's not just the olders hanging together and the youngers hanging together. Kids find the other kids who are on the same level. He seems to get along well in groups both in school and on soccer team.
While it would be nice if he was a Dec./Jan. bday and just as big as all the other kids (instead of being a shrimp). It would have been a real disservice to hold him back academically. He's already scored at the top of the chart for the GT placement test. I can't imagine him being in kindergarten this year.
If your preschool teacher is saying he's ready and/or you think he's ready, but you're just worried about him being small, I'd say don't hold him back. If he's having trouble relating to other kids and/or has trouble responding in class or formulating ideas, then maybe it would be good to hold him back.
Come back when your kid hits middle school and report back on how he's doing. Thats when the difference really shows up.
I have met many parents who are trying to figure out how to get their kid to lose a year as they approach high school (changing schools is about the best and only way). They are proud that their kid is so smart when they start out but they see them struggle socially and in sports later.
Anonymous
04/19/2013 08:36
Subject: Long term affects - good or bad - of holding back from kindergarten
Anonymous wrote:I am struggling with this too. I have a May boy and a July boy that I will have to make decisions on. I visited the kindergarten that May boy would be attending in the fall and discussed my concerns with the school counselor. Ultimately, after watching the children sit so quietly during a lecture in kindergarten, I decided that my May boy will have issues with doing that in the fall and I see no value in forcing it on him. In fact, I view forcing it on him now as a negative. So, he is a no go but I am going to address each one individually.
I think it's pretty unusual for kindergarten teachers to expect kids to sit quietly for long periods of time. They just don't expect it. They do work on all the classroom rules for the first couple of months (i.e. keep your hands to yourself, sit on your bottom, walk in a line, etc.). Ultimately it's up to you, but from my own experience, many parents think their kids (especially boys) are not mature enough to handle it... but somehow, they rise up to the challenge (and it is well known that our kids act MUCH better for their teachers than they do for us at home). So, that's why I really suggest listening to your child's preschool teacher rather than just relying on what you see at home.
Anonymous
04/18/2013 20:21
Subject: Long term affects - good or bad - of holding back from kindergarten
I am struggling with this too. I have a May boy and a July boy that I will have to make decisions on. I visited the kindergarten that May boy would be attending in the fall and discussed my concerns with the school counselor. Ultimately, after watching the children sit so quietly during a lecture in kindergarten, I decided that my May boy will have issues with doing that in the fall and I see no value in forcing it on him. In fact, I view forcing it on him now as a negative. So, he is a no go but I am going to address each one individually.
Anonymous
04/18/2013 19:47
Subject: Re:Long term affects - good or bad - of holding back from kindergarten
Anonymous wrote: I wouldn't hold you kid back just because of concerns about size. If they're developmentally ready for school, send them.
agree. size does not matter.
Anonymous
04/18/2013 18:18
Subject: Re:Long term affects - good or bad - of holding back from kindergarten
My 3 kids range in height from 1st percentile to the 33rd. You can imagine how some of the kids tower over them. The oldest is now in 4th grade, the youngest in 1st. Height has never been an issue. Two of my kids also have learning disabilities and motor planning/coordination issues. Again, not a problem at all. I wouldn't hold you kid back just because of concerns about size. If they're developmentally ready for school, send them.
Anonymous
04/16/2013 17:20
Subject: Long term affects - good or bad - of holding back from kindergarten
Anonymous wrote:My son is small -- like 5th percentile small and he's an end of July bday (so he's the 5th percentile for kids who were born in JULY!!). But, he's a full year ahead in reading and math. He's was bored in kindy and is now bored in 1st grade. He's not a genius or profoundly gifted. Just a kid who was read to a lot who "gets" numbers and does pretty well with books. Maturity-wise I seriously considered holding him back in the summer before he was supposed to start kinder. His preschool teacher said he was ready to move on.... I was like "really???? Are you SURE??" And she was like "yes. I would tell you different if he wasn't ready."
Well, we bit the bullet and sent him into kinder. So far, it's been fine. In every class there are kids on different social speeds. It's not just the olders hanging together and the youngers hanging together. Kids find the other kids who are on the same level. He seems to get along well in groups both in school and on soccer team.
While it would be nice if he was a Dec./Jan. bday and just as big as all the other kids (instead of being a shrimp). It would have been a real disservice to hold him back academically. He's already scored at the top of the chart for the GT placement test. I can't imagine him being in kindergarten this year.
If your preschool teacher is saying he's ready and/or you think he's ready, but you're just worried about him being small, I'd say don't hold him back. If he's having trouble relating to other kids and/or has trouble responding in class or formulating ideas, then maybe it would be good to hold him back.
Thanks for sharing this PP. I'm not the OP but I'm trying to figure out the same thing for next year.
Anonymous
04/16/2013 17:15
Subject: Long term affects - good or bad - of holding back from kindergarten
My son is small -- like 5th percentile small and he's an end of July bday (so he's the 5th percentile for kids who were born in JULY!!). But, he's a full year ahead in reading and math. He's was bored in kindy and is now bored in 1st grade. He's not a genius or profoundly gifted. Just a kid who was read to a lot who "gets" numbers and does pretty well with books. Maturity-wise I seriously considered holding him back in the summer before he was supposed to start kinder. His preschool teacher said he was ready to move on.... I was like "really???? Are you SURE??" And she was like "yes. I would tell you different if he wasn't ready."
Well, we bit the bullet and sent him into kinder. So far, it's been fine. In every class there are kids on different social speeds. It's not just the olders hanging together and the youngers hanging together. Kids find the other kids who are on the same level. He seems to get along well in groups both in school and on soccer team.
While it would be nice if he was a Dec./Jan. bday and just as big as all the other kids (instead of being a shrimp). It would have been a real disservice to hold him back academically. He's already scored at the top of the chart for the GT placement test. I can't imagine him being in kindergarten this year.
If your preschool teacher is saying he's ready and/or you think he's ready, but you're just worried about him being small, I'd say don't hold him back. If he's having trouble relating to other kids and/or has trouble responding in class or formulating ideas, then maybe it would be good to hold him back.
Well, we bit the bullet and sent him into kinder. So far, it's been fine. In every class there are kids on different social speeds. It's not just the olders hanging together and the youngers hanging together. Kids find the other kids who are on the same level. He seems to get along well in groups both in school and on soccer team.
While it would be nice if he was a Dec./Jan. bday and just as big as all the other kids (instead of being a shrimp). It would have been a real disservice to hold him back academically. He's already scored at the top of the chart for the GT placement test. I can't imagine him being in kindergarten this year.
If your preschool teacher is saying he's ready and/or you think he's ready, but you're just worried about him being small, I'd say don't hold him back. If he's having trouble relating to other kids and/or has trouble responding in class or formulating ideas, then maybe it would be good to hold him back.
Anonymous
04/16/2013 16:03
Subject: Long term affects - good or bad - of holding back from kindergarten
As parents with kids who have been through kindergarten and are now in elementary school....what are your opinions on holding back for a year? Do you regret your decisions? Do you think it all evens out by third grade as many experts claim? I am struggling with the decision because there are pros and cons to either. I don't want my summer boy to get trampled on by bigger boys who were held back. But I also don't want him to be bored - he is ready to start school now. Any experience you are willing to share?