I think you need to look back at what it was that made you (and him) apply there. There must have been something if it wasn't academics or sports. If it was just to say that he was able to get in to a big name school, well honestly I don't think that's a very good reason and you should look elsewhere. The best school in town may not be the best for every kid. The name on the diploma may not be worth it if he doesn't reach his potential during his time there.

Then again, for some people that is the desired result. You just don't seem to fit that mold and I'd hate to see your son unhappy.

Anonymous wrote:The school wouldn't have accepted him if they weren't prepared to make it work. A long commute to school can be dibilitating however especially with the 4-5 hours of homework a big 3 school will assign.

This.... and have you thought about what is your plan for first four years after HS ? What school will help you reach THAT goal the best ? That shoudl provide you with soem clear focus.

Anonymous wrote:The school will surely give a medical release from sports, no? I'd ask them. Does the other option seem like a better fit, or is it more convenient and comfortable? Would trying for one year make sense?

regular exercise avctaully improves health of lungs, endurance, and decreases episodes of asthma flare.

You could move to be closer to the school.
He doesn't have to do sports if he doesn't want to, right? More time for academics! Generally it's not the QB who cures polio. Also there are lots of chicks in drama club.
Stop worrying. You could always go back to your relatively shitty public school.

The school wouldn't have accepted him if they weren't prepared to make it work. A long commute to school can be dibilitating however especially with the 4-5 hours of homework a big 3 school will assign.

Are you absolutely certain you are not projecting your insecurities onto your child? There are many ways for many different kinds of kids to navigate high school--even at a "big three." Plus, when sports are required, there will be options for those who don't consider themselves athletes. Not pushing the school at all--make the decision that is right for you.

Anonymous wrote:You don't say how old your DS is.

HS. Never, never thought DS would be accepted.

What made you like it enough to apply in the first place?

You don't say how old your DS is.

Why is the school not a good fit academically? Is he performing poorly in his classes? Perhaps if his health improves (maybe with an indoor sports alternative) his grades would improve.

so the school isn't:

the right fit academically
is a long commute
is sports oriented which is a problem for your son
your son has misgivings as well

The only positive in your post was that other people think it is great.

You answered your own question. Your just not able to make a decision based on what's best for your son. Pick a different school.

The school will surely give a medical release from sports, no? I'd ask them. Does the other option seem like a better fit, or is it more convenient and comfortable? Would trying for one year make sense?

Do you have other options for DS that seem like a better fit?

Yes. It is a very hard choice. Of course, someone on the waitlist will be thrilled.

My DS got into a top 3 school. We are so proud of him. And he worked hard for it for years. But there are negatives for him. The school is far -- a long commute. The fit is not good academically. He has asthma, which is getting worse, so sports are going to be a problem. He himself is not sure it is a good fit. But all around more and more friends and relatives are congratulating him and making it seem more and more important -- something he cannot turn down. I want the best for my DS (doesn't everyone?) but this seems like it has too many negatives. I feel like a bad mother that I am standing by and saying ... not so sure. Anyone else had a dilemma like this?