OP, I don't know if your question is answerable in the abstract, but here's a thought:

I have ADD, also, and given the choice of which child to parent, I'd choose the one with Asperberger's because I think it would play to my strengths as a parent. I have a DS with ADHD and between the two of us, we're so darn disorganized and I often feel like I'm the worst possible person to parent him. I feel like a just reinforce all his weaknesses, poor kid. I do have good emotional intelligence and social skills, and I help him in that way, but that's really my strength and would be useful with a child with Asberger's.

Anyway, OP, it doesn't really matter, because your child is who he is, and you just have to deal with that. Don't waste time with "what ifs" and wishful thinking. Just dig in and do your best.

I posted before, but am posting again b/c I really am shocked someone thinks severe ADHD could possibly be less challenging than mild Asperger's??

I think the first word "mild" "moderate" "severe" tells you a lot more about how challenging it is and where the child's level of functioning is at time of diagnosis. The good news is with interventions some kids can move along from say severe to moderate or moderate to mild or maybe even severe to mild?

When I taught I had kids with both presentations. Actually, the kids with mild asperger's were easier than some of the kids without IEPs and much less time consuming than kids with severe anything including ADHD. I liked ALL the kids, but if you are looking at which is more impairing and time consuming for the teacher-it's severe ADHD.

I have an adult brother with pretty severe ADHD. It's what would've been called ADD in the 1980s -- no hyperactivity whatsover; but -severely- impaired ability to "attend" anything at all, such as a job! College! Paying rent on time! Picking up your girlfriend at the airport, etc etc etc. High IQ though.

I have a son with just the slightest hint of Aspergers. At age 9, the perseverations have all but gone away and just the social piece and rigidity remain. High IQ.

My personal vote, based on a data set of exactly two people, is that severe ADHD is a worse condition lifelong than barely-there ASD.

Wanted to add, that according to one doctor we spoke with, the new thinking is, it's all the same spectrum and it's not that ADHD is somehow a better/easier diagnosis. Kids vary in functioning with both diagnosis.

There are plenty of people with either diagnosis who are highly impaired and plenty who aren't. The diagnosis gives you some info, but it's I wouldn't throw a big party to celebrate ADHD dx and go into mourining and sit shiva if it's ASD.

I think the whole ADHD is easier than ASD thinking goes back decades when only severely impaired kids got a dx of ASD. Many kids decades ago diagnosed with ADHD had symptoms that may have been better described with ASD.

As always, ASDs are the third rail. "No, not that, anything but that." Sigh.

Its not about ranking diagnoses, its about getting your child what he needs.

I find this post interesting because it really shows some of the bias in people's thinking. There are people who seem to think ASD-even a mild ASD is some sort of death sentence when it comes to leading a productive life. ADHD, even major, is a relief...because it's not da da da dum.....Aspergers or high functioning autism.

There are plenty of highly accomplished people with Asperger's and/or ADHD who not only have fullfilling careers, but friendships and marriages/partnerships. If a child has major ADHD and you haven't found the right treatment combo then I would assume that is much more challenging than having a child with mild Aspergers. There are people with "mild Asperger's" who probably taught you in college, do your taxes and/or work at your local library. There are probably people who were once diagnosed with major ADHD doing the same, but only if it's under control and thus, no longer major.

Please define severe ADHD. That will help us answer your question better perhaps.

I think it also depends on whether there are other comorbid issues like anxiety. Severe anxiety can be debilitating all by itself, combine it with ADHD or AS or with both ADHD and AS makes everything a whole lot worse.

I have an AS kid and it does not seem to impact him much. Has an IEP, completely mainstreamed, does well academically and has no behavior issues. Has friends and is well liked by teachers and classmates. Very smart, makes his teachers look good. I expect him to do well and hopefully attend the same ivy as his parents.

Generally speaking, mild Asperger's combined with high IQ is probably not too limiting education and career wise. Severe ADHD may be more limiting. It really depends on how mild and how severe. Since your child is your child, I think you should focus on his therapy needs and not too much on the labels. He is still him no matter what labels they got for him.

Neither is better or worse. I have one of each. Both are relatively mild when it comes to the spectrum of special needs. They just are what they are. You learn the way to parent your child and you learn the things you need to teach your child.

Thanks for the replies. I'm actually not asking the forum for a diagnosis. I'm asking:

Which is "worse", major ADHD or minor Aspergers?

Anonymous wrote:Kids with Asperger's can have ADHD at the same time.

OP knows that. I think is looking for encouragement.

OP, were on the cusp of getting a diagnosis for our preschooler too. The good thing is that we live in an area with many resources/therapists/schools, so no matter what the outcome, there will be help.

Kids with Asperger's can have ADHD at the same time.

OP, you need to get a real diagnosis and not seek a misdiagnosis from dcum.

I think my preschool son have one or the other (and yes i know he could have both.) He's getting services but no diagnosis yet.

Until we can get a diagnosis I keep rooting for ADHD, since I myself have ADD and am pretty happy and feel like I could teach him to navigate life with ADD. But his ADD (if that's what it is) looks different from mine. Could be that it's the H, which I don't have. Could be that isn't not ADHD, though we have had some professionals unoffically suggest it may be.

But as I read more abot both ADHD and Aspergers I'm developing a theory that it almost doesn't matter because severe ADHD can be as "bad" as mild Aspergers. In the world of spectrums do these cross in terms of what's "harder"? Is it just that Aspergers is more of an unknown to me?

Thanks for any insight.