Anonymous wrote:OP here, We are both in our 30's

I just feel it's really inconsiderate for him not to tell me. He always promises he'll call to let me know in the future, but it never happens. Personally, I think he just gets so drunk, he passes out before even thinking of calling me.

I don't know if it is what you think or a girlfriend but it isn't good.

Married 8 years, together for 12. It's never happened, ever.

ds is 3.5 months old. DH has spent the night at his friend's house twice. ( friend's birthday party and his best friend who lives in mew york was staying at another friend's house) Both times he okayed it with me and i insisted one time because i knew he would be drinking more than he expected. He has met up with friends other times but will only have 2 beers spanned out over several hours.

I have also spent one night at a girlfriend's house (2 of my girlfriends share a bday and always throw a big party) and again, this was also something we agreed on beforehand.


I would be livid with your situation

OP here, We are both in our 30's

I just feel it's really inconsiderate for him not to tell me. He always promises he'll call to let me know in the future, but it never happens. Personally, I think he just gets so drunk, he passes out before even thinking of calling me.

Why is your DH drinking to such excess so frequently?

Never, in 21 years of marriage. Never ever. DH's version of a "night out" entails playing poker with our neighbor-friends' DHs and coming home at 11.

OP, that is a Problem with a capital P.

Sorry OP - piling on- I think its weird that he does this. Once, MAYBE twice I could see, but monthly? This is weird.

My DH has never done this.

Never happens to me either. I think it is something you should draw a hard line on with him. I would be very suspicious.

How old is he? Sounds like college boyfriend behaviour, not grown married man with child behaviour.

My husband has never done this, nor have I. It's odd.

14 years. Never happened.

+1
My husband in 10 plus years of marriage has never once done anything like that. He would never pull something like that. I would be livid.

um, never. that's insane.

Not ok. If he plans to get so drunk that he cannot come home, he needs to plan ahead of time to stay at a friend's house. The days of college and crashing on a random person's floor are over.

My husband has absolutely never in our 26 years of marriage done anything like that. Yes it would bother me. No you aren't over-reacting.

This is something that is really aggravating to me. This happens about once a month. DH will go out, and tell me he will be home around a certain time. (I'm home with our baby). But, he never comes home. I end up worrying that he's been in an accident, or something, and not being able to sleep for the worry, he doesn't answer his phone. 100% of the time, the next day he'll apologize and say he accidently fell asleep (because he'd been drinking) at so-and-so's house. Now, I know he IS actually where he says he is (unless his friends are covering for him, which I don't really think they would do). I'm really getting sick of it. Especially, since I'm 100% okay with him staying overnight at friends houses, especially if he's been drinking, as I don't want him trying to drive home. All I want is for him to notify me, so I won't worry. He treats it so nonchalantly, like I'm making a big deal about it when it isn't a big deal.

Would this bother you too? Am I being too controlling by wanting to know he's safe where he is? Am I blowing this issue out of porportion?