I work closely with many people who have young kids at home, many who have older kids at home/at college, and some who do not have kids/spouses/significant outside interests.
I was always an overachiever and was afraid of the repercussions of simply "achieving." However:
-I have found that I am WAY MORE productive now. I used to stay a few mins or hours "b/c I really want to get this done." Well, now I do not have that option. I have to suck it up and get it done, or leave it undone and let it go. I am very good at multitasking and prioritizing as I think most working parents are
-Whenever I feel like my kid/family responsibilities are "holding me back" I take a look at my unattached colleagues (and I mean unattached as in, they have no significant outside commitments. Serious hobbies count as commitments to me). They lead quite empty lives and live for work, not the other way around. I remind myself that I COULD HAVE chosen that lifestyle, but what does it get you? Some praise at work? A raise? These people are not going to chisel "GOOD BOSS" on my tombstone.

I'm writing from the perspective of one of the people who probably took over your projects. I have done this during my career a few times for skilled women who have stepped back to care for family, etc. Even though those women stepped back, they continued to be respected in the workplace, and younger women like me look up to them, even if we're interacting more as peers instead of subordinates. What I'm trying to say is that you may command more value than you are giving yourself, by value of just your reputation and past work. It's OK to coast a little -- I'm sure you'll be back at it soon enough.

I'm sort of in your shoes although I wouldnt say I was a huge overachiever pre kids. But i was moving up the ranks. Now I'm a worker bee and sometimes its nice to sit back and revel in the headaches that aren't mine, and the freedom I have. Just another perspective.

I was a real overachiever at work before having my kids. In fact, I was still an overachiever after having my first child, but after the birth oft daughter things have changed. I went to a part time schedule and stopped billing so many hours. I still did good work, but of course other people took over my old projects and my bosses loved them. I am am still getting good reviews, but I feel like a shadow of my bold self at work. I know that I asked to be part time and that I am blessed to have a family, but I feel left out and like A shadow of my former self at work. I don't want to go back to full time plus, but I want to feel important again and truly valued.

Anyone have any advice? Wait it out for a few years until then kids get older? Take new steps to make myself more relevant at work and not just viewed as a part time person? I would particularly value the opinions of women or men
who had been through this before.