For me, the allowance of the cursing (or "cursing" in this case) is all about situation and who it's being directed towards. We all get frustrated by situations sometimes and we need a way to vocalize that frustration, so "darn it" when you stub your toe or forget a homework book at school is ok. But if you're directing that "curse" at another person in a mean and hurtful manner, whether to insult or name call or bully, then it becomes a problem.

So basically "darn it" is ok, "darn you" not ok.

Anonymous wrote:13:33 here. I should add that I do curse sometimes, so it has nothing to do with not "liking" curse words.

13:00 sounds constipated to me.

I teach preschool and I usually say something to kids who say "what the heck" or "what the" (often they just say this). Mainly because I'm not sure where other parents stand on it and I don't want them learning things from preschool.

I don't call them out or anything but I might say "you mean WOW!".

Darn it is not one I hear often but I also comment on that if they are doing art or something because it is such a negative expression. Preschool kids should not be saying "darn it" when they color out of the lines.

We say "fuck" as in "ah fuck it" around our house. We don't say, "oh dad fucked me last night". Never.

I'm in the no "frig" or "crap" camp for our 13yo. However, I don't think it's unreasonable to be stricter for a younger child. 7 is pretty young for even "fake" cursing.

Anonymous wrote:Mom of 4 here and I do not agree with 13:00. Curse words or their "replacements" are not okay with me and are not allowed. I also would not use these words in front of my parents and/or elderly people.

blech

Darn it and what the heck are not curse phrases.

I agree with another poster in that I HATE it when kids says 'crap'. (for that matter, I hate it when my kids say 'hate'!!). I would rather them say, 'dislike'.

hell no!

13:33 here. I should add that I do curse sometimes, so it has nothing to do with not "liking" curse words.

Mom of 4 here and I do not agree with 13:00. Curse words or their "replacements" are not okay with me and are not allowed. I also would not use these words in front of my parents and/or elderly people.

Anonymous wrote:I agree with 13:00 all the way, and I feel like I want to start working "Rats!" into my vocabulary more!

+1

I agree with 13:00 all the way, and I feel like I want to start working "Rats!" into my vocabulary more!

"Darn it" IS the replacement for "damn it" and "what the heck" is the replacement for "what the hell." I do not allow my kids to curse nor do I curse in front of them ever, and I'm ok with these. No one but the most uptight adult will disapprove of these I think.

For future reference, lots of people say "frig" as a replacement for "fuck," as in "what the frig" or "that friggin' thing" and I do not allow that because I think it is too close to the real thing, and I think the f-word is worse than damn or hell so I don't want my kids using even a substitute for it.

I also don't allow "crap" which is a substitute for "shit." I know there might be some disagreement about this one though. For me, I think it is a notch or two worse than darn or heck. However, I know my 10 year old son says this with his friends out of my hearing, and I'm ok with that. He understands that some things are ok when, for example, playing sports with his friends, but are not ok at the dinner table or when talking to his grandparents.

My kids like to say "rats!" a lot, which might be a little old fashioned but it is a good strong word to yell when you bash your finger with a hammer or stub your toe or something.

They're not cursing. They're what people say when they want to avoid cursing.

That is not cursing...it's fine.

immigrant ESL parent here having a hard time stopping 7-YO DS saying "darn it" and "what the heck". I think they're cursing so should stop but he says they're not. who's right?

also what would be good replacements for them? tks.