I was in a similar boat, I made about 90% of our HHI and I had planned on going back to work after my leave and did so on a part-time basis for about a month until I realized I wanted to be with my kids. It is not going to be easy. We've changed everything about our lifestyle from our vacations to how we eat to where we buy clothes, etc.... And even so we barely break even at the end of the month. I'm lucky enough to be able to take on freelance jobs every now and then to help but I stress every day over money. That said, staying home with my kids is priceless....I'm a lousy, new stay at home mom but it's worth it all. They grow up so fast.

As PP's have said, factor in husbands job security, cash savings, and how 'in-demand' your job is/how easy it would be to go back if need be. Good luck!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you're going to be one of those women who take advantage of maternity leave benefits financially and then quit within two weeks of going back?

Groan.

Your REAL question should be whether this is ethical behavior. The answer is no.

I left my job after my maternity leave. No ethical qualms whatsoever.

Did you know you were probably leaving all along? If so, that is 100% unethical IMO.

Why is it unethical?

You make nearly 50% of your HHI. Absolutely do not quit.

Anonymous wrote:Unethical? whatever, it is legal and she should take it.

For most people, the "leave" isn't much money anyway, it's time off while they care for an infant and their body recovers from childbirth.

If you just get FMLA, you get short term disability (which you've paid into and honestly earned) and then you get 6 weeks of additional unpaid leave. MAYBE the company pays their portion of the benefits for you but mine did not.

If you have even the slightest inkling that you may want to go back to work, I would take the leave that you've earned after working for at least 1 year for a company.

Seriously. Leave in the U.S. is hardly a princely sum. I got 2/3 of my salary for 6 weeks. And yes, I returned to work after, though part time. I worked 3 days/week for three years, which I felt was the ideal balance of staying in the game while serving as my child's primary caregiver the majority of the time. Not everyone has that option, but it's great if you do.

Unethical? whatever, it is legal and she should take it.

For most people, the "leave" isn't much money anyway, it's time off while they care for an infant and their body recovers from childbirth.

If you just get FMLA, you get short term disability (which you've paid into and honestly earned) and then you get 6 weeks of additional unpaid leave. MAYBE the company pays their portion of the benefits for you but mine did not.

If you have even the slightest inkling that you may want to go back to work, I would take the leave that you've earned after working for at least 1 year for a company.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you're going to be one of those women who take advantage of maternity leave benefits financially and then quit within two weeks of going back?

Groan.

Your REAL question should be whether this is ethical behavior. The answer is no.

I left my job after my maternity leave. No ethical qualms whatsoever.

Did you know you were probably leaving all along? If so, that is 100% unethical IMO.

Anonymous wrote:So you're going to be one of those women who take advantage of maternity leave benefits financially and then quit within two weeks of going back?

Groan.

Your REAL question should be whether this is ethical behavior. The answer is no.

I'm pretty sure this wasn't part of her original question.

Anonymous wrote:So you're going to be one of those women who take advantage of maternity leave benefits financially and then quit within two weeks of going back?

Groan.

Your REAL question should be whether this is ethical behavior. The answer is no.

I left my job after my maternity leave. No ethical qualms whatsoever.

So you're going to be one of those women who take advantage of maternity leave benefits financially and then quit within two weeks of going back?

Groan.

Your REAL question should be whether this is ethical behavior. The answer is no.

I 100% agree with the PP who suggested considering DH's job stability, your own ability to get back to work if you need/want to (have you done a job search recently? It can be tough, and tougher still if you have a few years gap).

Mostly, consider the long-term impact of staying home more than the short-term--career mobility, long-term savings, retirement, financial stability.

Think about how likely it will really be that you'll want to go back to work with a 1 or 2 year old baby, and when you'll probably be wanting to try for baby #2.

I generally recommend planning to going back to work for at least 6 months at least for your 1st child, but agree with the PP to ask for an extended maternity leave. Basically, you can always quit, but it might be hard to get back to work.

1) How much do you have saved for emergencies? (3-6 months of expesnies is recommended)
2) How much have you saved for retirement and how much do you plan to?
3) Do you plan to save for college?
4) How easy is it for your type of job to leave and return after a period of dormancy?
5) How many hours are you and your DH away from the house ?
6) Is there any possiblity of reduced hours or part time?
7) How flexible is your and your DH's current job? Could you stagger your hours for a while, if you are worried about leaving the bay for long periods of time.
8) Could your DH take paternity leave?

I usually suggest people live on one person's net salary (less 401k deductions, taxes, healthcare deduction....) for six months banking the rest (except for childcare). That way they can see if they can actually stick to it and they have a nice nest egg for emergencies.


Note that nannies cost about 2.5 times what good daycares cost after you add in everything. Plus, your food budget will only increase from here on out - sometimes exponentially .

If is more about extending your maternity leave a few more months - see if you can do that - maybe work into it be going back part time at first.

Some places you can save:

- We ditched our landline ($50 a month for 2 calls)
- We ditched cable and switched to hulu + netflix for a fraction of the cost (~$120 a month saved)
- Consider saving up enough to pay off the car ($332)
- Consider a high deductible plan on the car (i.e. if you have the money save) - maybe saves $50 a month
- Gym and cleaning lady can go ($240 a month)

Do that and you've cleared up about $800 a month.

Yes, we are in the DC metro area. Yes, have looked into daycare for an infant, it is about $1400/month. However we would want to go the nanny route vs daycare for the first year. I currently make a little under $90k. We are currently on my husband's health insurance, which is about $100/month. Have not factored in retirement or college savings, which is a good point since I currently put about 12% of my salary into retirement.

Are you in the dc metro area? Have you looked into how much daycare might cost for an infant? How much do you make? Would you all be on your husbands health insurance? How much extra is that? Have you factored in retirement savings? College savings?

I am not the woman with $56k in credit card debt, but she is the one who gave me the idea to post this. I just had my first child and would love to stay home after maternity leave, but fear that we don't make enough money to not go into debt and/or hate each other by doing so. My husband makes approx $100k/year, and our monthly bills (these are all non-child related, as we are new parents we haven't quite gotten a handle on where those will end up) are as follows:

"Set" expenses:

Mortgage 1165
HOA dues 70
Car payment 332
Car insurance 140
Student loan 433
Groceries 525
Gas for car 300
Phone/tv/net 350
Other utilities 370
Pet costs 140
Drycleaning 40
Gym 120
Cleaning lady 120
Other misc. expenses 200
Savings 400
Home-equity loan 400 (we owe about $5k for some home repairs)

This doesn't include the amount that we have each month for dinners out, lunches at work, our own "whatever we want to spend money on" funds, etc. Those obviously would be reeled in as right now we can pretty much spend whatever we want on whatever we want (within reason).

We don't have any credit card debt other than the home equity loan. Our current car is almost all paid off, however we envision the need to buy a new one soon but plan to keep it within the same monthly payments as our current car.

Would love input from others as to whether this is "do-able" or not...