Anonymous wrote:PP here - I don't really have a problem. I was just answering a question. I don't honestly give a rat's ass if I spend a couple hundred a year on credit card interest. That amounts to about the same amount I spend on internet plus cable plus landline plus iphone in a single month. I was just saying that I prefer to have a little cash stashed away in case of a layoff, and paying off my card right now would threaten that. (it'll be paid off in a few months anyway. On there right now: airfare and hotel from my xmas trip, an unexpected $700 car repair, some house-related expenses, plus this month's bar and restaurant bills because I won't use my debit card if it'll be out of my sight and I don't like carrying large amounts of cash around.)

NP here. That sort of makes sense, I guess, pp, but why can't you have a little bit of savings AND pay off your credit card? I'm sure over the course of a couple of months it could be done if you tightened your belt a little bit. There's no sense in throwing away hundreds of dollars if you don't have to.

PP here - I don't really have a problem. I was just answering a question. I don't honestly give a rat's ass if I spend a couple hundred a year on credit card interest. That amounts to about the same amount I spend on internet plus cable plus landline plus iphone in a single month. I was just saying that I prefer to have a little cash stashed away in case of a layoff, and paying off my card right now would threaten that. (it'll be paid off in a few months anyway. On there right now: airfare and hotel from my xmas trip, an unexpected $700 car repair, some house-related expenses, plus this month's bar and restaurant bills because I won't use my debit card if it'll be out of my sight and I don't like carrying large amounts of cash around.)

Anonymous wrote:12:41 here- my credit card APR is really low. I pay a couple hundred in interest over the course of the year. Problem is, if I paid off the balance tomorrow (which includes the $3000 I spent on a Xmas trip), I'd cut into my emergency savings and then I'd psychologically think I could run up the card again because I had no $ on it.

If I got laid off tomorrow, I'd have $10K in 100% liquid savings plus less-liquid mutual funds plus whatever in severance, and could drop to paying the minimum on my card for a few months. If I paid off the card, I'd have 1 or 1.5 less mortgage payment available. I was unemployed for 6 months 5 years ago - I like to keep some cash.

There's your problem, right there.

It makes NO sense to think that because you have a credit card, you must use it for credit. None whatsoever.

12:41 here- my credit card APR is really low. I pay a couple hundred in interest over the course of the year. Problem is, if I paid off the balance tomorrow (which includes the $3000 I spent on a Xmas trip), I'd cut into my emergency savings and then I'd psychologically think I could run up the card again because I had no $ on it.

If I got laid off tomorrow, I'd have $10K in 100% liquid savings plus less-liquid mutual funds plus whatever in severance, and could drop to paying the minimum on my card for a few months. If I paid off the card, I'd have 1 or 1.5 less mortgage payment available. I was unemployed for 6 months 5 years ago - I like to keep some cash.

I feel your pain, OP. With my dh, I think it had to do with some basic unhappiness about his life, an attempt at temporary stress reduction (which never gets rid of the actual source of the stress), and a reaction against his anxious, penny pinching mother. When I complained, he saw me as being just like his mother.

It got better when we moved into the District near work so he could be more involved in politics and social life here. (we had lived waaay out from the city before and were pretty isolated) Also eventually we made more money and could afford more. (I almost never say anything about clothing purchases now because we can afford them.) But he also started hanging out with with activists who had chosen to lead simple, low budget lives and I think he was embarrassed to be so engaged in buying stuff.

But there was a time when he saw a $1200 suit on sale for $300 and it just hurt him to not buy it - even though we had thousands of dollars in credit card debt and student loans to pay off. Me, I enjoy looking at stuff and not buying it. For him, I think buying it made him feel like a grown up.

Anyway, most of this is in the past, thank god.

Because paying 11.99% more for something makes it that much more wonderful.

Anonymous wrote:I'm kind of a mix. I'm good about saving - I've been investing a decent %age in my 401K since I was 22, have a Roth-IRA, own an appreciating asset in an appreciating area (my house), keep emergency savings, started my daughter's 529 in her first year and whenever I get a raise or bonus, it's mostly saved. When I have rental income coming in (spare room), I save all but $100 of it. I buy stuff on sale whenever possible.

But I do like to spend. I like going out to eat. When I buy a car every 10-12 years or so, I don't buy the cheapest one. I don't buy cheap trendy clothes, but stuff that will last and look good. I care about how my furniture in my house looks. (though I keep it for years and take good care of it.) I have a Bose home theater system because it makes my music sound really good. I will carry a small credit card balance but mainly because of a big purchase that i'll pay off over a few months. (like a xmas trip, or a big car repair or expenses that resulted from storm damage.)

Why carry a credit card balance, of any size, when you have emergency savings?

I'm kind of a mix. I'm good about saving - I've been investing a decent %age in my 401K since I was 22, have a Roth-IRA, own an appreciating asset in an appreciating area (my house), keep emergency savings, started my daughter's 529 in her first year and whenever I get a raise or bonus, it's mostly saved. When I have rental income coming in (spare room), I save all but $100 of it. I buy stuff on sale whenever possible.

But I do like to spend. I like going out to eat. When I buy a car every 10-12 years or so, I don't buy the cheapest one. I don't buy cheap trendy clothes, but stuff that will last and look good. I care about how my furniture in my house looks. (though I keep it for years and take good care of it.) I have a Bose home theater system because it makes my music sound really good. I will carry a small credit card balance but mainly because of a big purchase that i'll pay off over a few months. (like a xmas trip, or a big car repair or expenses that resulted from storm damage.)

Even if I had extra money - I think I would still be a saver. I just can't get comfortable with spending.

Anonymous wrote:There's a difference between spender and debtor. It sounds like your husband doesn't see the wisdom in staying out of debt. I love to spend, but that is after all saving/ investing obligations have been met, and there is no danger of debt. Spending while owing sounds to me like a really uncomfortable way to live!

Good distinction... I've never carried a credit card balance my entire life, except once when I forgot to pay the bill.

There's a difference between spender and debtor. It sounds like your husband doesn't see the wisdom in staying out of debt. I love to spend, but that is after all saving/ investing obligations have been met, and there is no danger of debt. Spending while owing sounds to me like a really uncomfortable way to live!

Well, I'm a spender on some things. Business class when I go on vacation (unless its just absurdly priced), I will spend $150 on dinner once a week without blinking, but I also don't have cable ( such a waste when Hulu is $8) and I drive a Honda...

This has been an evolution. I used to be a spender - never to the point of buying dinner on credit without absolute intention of paying it off, but I used to buy a lot of gadgets, expensive toys, leased a BMW at 23 (granted I had a six figure income but still), I never cared about what something cost - but I also didn't go into debt for it. It was more like if I had a dollar to spend, I spent it. Eventually, and it took me a few years, I realized that saving was better.

I started viewing every dollar saved as a dollar spent - but spent better. Honestly, I've probably become to much of a saver (~60k a year) at the expense of some comforts.... I continue to work on finding balance.

I think the important thing (and as I said, I'm still working on this) is being reasonable. A few things my wife buys drive me batshit with fury (do both kids need their own copy of the fuckin caterpillar book ???? Argh!!!) and some things I spend money on drive her absolutely assraping pissed (stupid iPhone apps I play with once).

Good luck....

I can't. My DH is the same way. He would spend every penny that came in the door and then some if I didn't keep us on a budget. It drives me crazy.

I do like to spend money because I like stuff and I like new stuff. Logically, I realize that there is a trade off between financial stability and cool stuff. I also don't ever spend money I don't have.

I'm a saver and for the life of me cannot understand the spender mentality. DH is a spender and we've spent the better part of the weekend arguing about money. My philosophy is if you don't have it, you don't have it. You don't get to buy xyz. His philosophy is that we don't have it only for a short while and when it gets better we will pay off the cc.

Yes it will get better. I know this because child support stops in about 1.5yrs so there is a defined time for "better". I'm just having a hard time accepting going into debt now for stupid stuff like going out to dinner. If the house needed a new roof, then sure, I get it.

Can someone explain the spender mentality to me?