I didn't want a shower and the whole idea made me anxious. However two close friends talked me into it and threw a simple shower at home and I was very grateful to them.

^^ This is a totally adorable idea!

Anonymous wrote:We had a "book party" for one of my friends where everyone brought a copy of their favorite children's book and when the mom-to-be opened the book the giver was able to tell a story about why it was their favorite or share a memory of reading it as a kid. It was a very nice party because it didn't feel like it was about gifts, but about everyone sharing a piece of their childhood with the new mom.

I LOVE this idea!!

We had a "book party" for one of my friends where everyone brought a copy of their favorite children's book and when the mom-to-be opened the book the giver was able to tell a story about why it was their favorite or share a memory of reading it as a kid. It was a very nice party because it didn't feel like it was about gifts, but about everyone sharing a piece of their childhood with the new mom.

I'm another who didn't want a shower. I will admit, my last month I was a little sad no one did anything. (hormones!) I agree, do something. Maybe, ask her. Give her 2 or 3 choices: the just girlfriends getting toes done. Or the couples night out. Does she know what she is having? If she doesn't want you all spending a ton of money of the expensive gear...everyone loves a cute outfit. Waiting till the baby comes? Do something before hand! A goodluck, we care about you. After baby comes, do a sip and see too!!! My girlfriends, are doing this for me and it feels less pressure then a big shower ...and a great way for everyone to see the baby

Why not plan a nice adults-only dinner party for her? Doesn't have to be just girlfriends, but get couples to leave kids behind. I feel that once you have a baby, adult company is something you definitely miss.

OP, your friend sounds like me. I don't want a shower, part of it is that I don't want that attention all on me, but the other secret part is that I'm afraid it will jinx something with the baby. I know im being silly, so no one knows that concern. Similar to 18:36 post, I agreed to go to a really nice dinner with my close girlfriends where we can just all be together and relax. I told my closest friends that if they absolutely want to get me something to bring it by when they meet the baby.

How about an adults only evening party with heavy appetizers, cocktails, and super desserts. Maybe she doesn't want to open gifts in front if a crowd? You can avoid that by simply having a gift table. Or, pick a theme like everyone brings a nice book and sleeper or bath towels, etc (bedtime routine theme). But definitely do a little something. I think co-Ed parties are always more fun!

How about a night out before baby arrives--book a private room in restaurant or something like that--everyone pays for themselves and chips in for the mom-to-be's meal. Let people know that it's no gifts.

One thing I liked that I received at my shower was a small photo album that had, instead of photos, cards on which the guests had written their thoughts/advice on parenting.

Lots of great ideas here!!

You could also have friends agree to come to the house (once she is ready for visitors) and help out with chores, laundry, errands, post office runs, grocery store trips, etc.

You could give a group gift for babysitting services, yard work, or a house cleaning if she doesnt already have that lined up in her household budget.

People could all write notes of encouragement, prayers, or blessings for mom dad and baby, and you could gift it to her in a nice box too with different envelopes to open once baby is born.

I do think its nice to still do something for her while respecting her wishes for no shower. Let us know what you decide on!

Maybe get some money together from friends and have meals delivered. You could get omaha steaks or dine wise or something to make her life easier after the baby comes.

It sounds like she feels uncomfortable with financial support (i.e. gifts) but you and her other friends would like to provide loving support (meals, personal book for baby, an afternoon with the girls, etc).

I've heard of people giving moms to be (usually for 2nd or more babies) a "shower" instead of bringing gifts, they bring meals that the mom can freeze so in those hectic days after the birth, she has a stash of ready meals to thaw and heat.

I've posted on some "crunchy mama" type forums (lots of cloth diapering, baby wearing, extended nursing types) and I know a lot of those mamas had "blessingways." They especially took part in the "beads". http://www.naturalbirthandbabycare.com/blessingway.html

If she is adamant about not wanting gifts, maybe you can plan a nice outting for her and some girlfriends? A trip to get a mani/pedi followed by a nice lunch? That way, if people brings gifts at their own discretion, it'll be more personal? Or a group gift card to a baby store she might not otherwise shop at?

Or how about arranging meal delivery for after the baby is born? have people sign up for certain nights and either deliver freezer meals (homemade, ready to go in the oven) or fresh food?

She really might not want gifts (I'm Jewish, Jews don't have baby showers, so it's not unheard of to me). Maybe an afternoon of pampering and a lovely lunch with girlfriends might fit the bill?

I need some suggestions and creative ideas. I have a very close friend who is adamant that she does NOT want a baby shower. She is someone who is extremely generous and always hosting events and doing things for other people, but very uncomfortable with anyone doing anything for her. Her and her husband make excellent money, more than most of our circle of friends so she feels guilty if people get her gifts. However she is 7 months pregnant after many years of heartache and it seems that not marking this event in some way is just wrong.

I was thinking of just getting her a group gift and dropping it off - maybe something practical like a few brands of diapers to try and wipes, with some receiving blankets, washclothes and other things that every baby uses.

Anyone else had a creative way to mark the event other than a baby shower or get gifts given in a different way?