Anonymous
02/15/2013 19:41
Subject: Raising a child without a father
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:What can I do to make the ending a happy one?
Do not let your child meet any dates, boyfriends or otherwise until you are ready to make a serious commitment to each other. That includes sleepovers. If you want to go out and sleep with a guy, have your kid spend the night with a friend or grandparent. The last thing any kid needs is a revolving door of mom's "guy friends" she's trying to have a relationship with.
Be really selective about whom you date. And sleep with. Right now you don't have a good track record. Go slow and require guys to treat you well.
Use birth control until you're married again and ready to have another kid. Raising one kid alone is hard enough.
Do not spoil your kid with material things thinking it will make up for the fact that the father is a loser jackass who doesn't take responsibility.
What? How do you know the circumstances about why there is no dad in the picture?
Please read post 19:24.
Anonymous
02/15/2013 18:53
Subject: Raising a child without a father
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:What can I do to make the ending a happy one?
Do not let your child meet any dates, boyfriends or otherwise until you are ready to make a serious commitment to each other. That includes sleepovers. If you want to go out and sleep with a guy, have your kid spend the night with a friend or grandparent. The last thing any kid needs is a revolving door of mom's "guy friends" she's trying to have a relationship with.
Be really selective about whom you date. And sleep with. Right now you don't have a good track record. Go slow and require guys to treat you well.
Use birth control until you're married again and ready to have another kid. Raising one kid alone is hard enough.
Do not spoil your kid with material things thinking it will make up for the fact that the father is a loser jackass who doesn't take responsibility.
What? How do you know the circumstances about why there is no dad in the picture?
Anonymous
02/15/2013 10:15
Subject: Raising a child without a father
Don't ever let your daughter see you being dis-respected by a man, and if they do, let them have a good tongue-lashing about how a man should treat a woman.
And don't blame yourself for him leaving. You took a chance and he fell short and ran. Kids can sense if you blame yourself, and can internalize that too in unhealthy ways (I caused my mom's breakup, etc.).
And don't blame yourself for him leaving. You took a chance and he fell short and ran. Kids can sense if you blame yourself, and can internalize that too in unhealthy ways (I caused my mom's breakup, etc.).
Anonymous
02/15/2013 10:05
Subject: Raising a child without a father
Here's the thing OP. Whenever there's an issue, something at school, something social, you will wonder if things would be different if her father was around. I go through that with divorce. Dad's around, but it's complicated. So, please know that you will never never. She may have had the same issue. And she may get to know her dad ... I know a divorced dad who moved abroad and didn't see his child all that much and know that she is in her 20s they are very close, she visits him in Europe all the time for weeks at a time. But if that's not the case, think of all the widows who do great by their children. Do be careful about dating ... Best to you ...
Anonymous
02/15/2013 07:19
Subject: Raising a child without a father
Anonymous wrote:What can I do to make the ending a happy one?
Do not let your child meet any dates, boyfriends or otherwise until you are ready to make a serious commitment to each other. That includes sleepovers. If you want to go out and sleep with a guy, have your kid spend the night with a friend or grandparent. The last thing any kid needs is a revolving door of mom's "guy friends" she's trying to have a relationship with.
Be really selective about whom you date. And sleep with. Right now you don't have a good track record. Go slow and require guys to treat you well.
Use birth control until you're married again and ready to have another kid. Raising one kid alone is hard enough.
Do not spoil your kid with material things thinking it will make up for the fact that the father is a loser jackass who doesn't take responsibility.
Anonymous
02/15/2013 06:44
Subject: Re:Raising a child without a father
PP- It is much easier said than done. If she has no idea where he is, it can be a complicated process to find him and then get him into court.
Anonymous
02/14/2013 23:38
Subject: Raising a child without a father
Anonymous wrote:He split when I was pregnant and I don't think I will ever see him again.
You should not let him get away without some kind of child support.
Anonymous
02/14/2013 21:39
Subject: Re:Raising a child without a father
I grew up without a dad. He moved a state away when I was in middle school after leaving my mom when I was 5. It was hard when I was a teenager b/c I was just so pissed off at him. He lived one state away and couldn't be bothered to visit much or have me visit him. I felt more self conscious too about not having a dad for the Father/Daughter stuff. My mom did beg him to show up for a FD Dance and he did once. I think it will be easier for your daughter OP w/o having her dad in her life at all. My dad was so close but yet couldn't be bothered. That hurt a lot. She will think it has something to do with her (that's normal) but just keep repeating the same mantra. If you want to say, "Your dad wasn't ready to be a parent" then stick to it.
Anonymous
02/14/2013 19:24
Subject: Raising a child without a father
He split when I was pregnant and I don't think I will ever see him again.
Anonymous
02/14/2013 15:20
Subject: Raising a child without a father
Model healthy relationships
Have male role models in her life
Expose her to happy marriages where she can see a man and a woman treating each other with respect.
As to the resentment and feeling an emptiness, it also depends on why she doesn't have a father....death? abandoned her? one night stand/don't know who he is? donor sperm?
Have male role models in her life
Expose her to happy marriages where she can see a man and a woman treating each other with respect.
As to the resentment and feeling an emptiness, it also depends on why she doesn't have a father....death? abandoned her? one night stand/don't know who he is? donor sperm?
Anonymous
02/14/2013 14:54
Subject: Raising a child without a father
Not saying this applies to you, but this is what I feel is important:
Don't have dysfunctional romantic relationships yourself. Keep your romantic relationships away from your kid until they are very serious. It's better for your child to see you alone, without a man, then to see you act out unhealthy patterns. Kids internalize what they see and tend to repeat it as an adult.
Agree with good, positive male role models.
I came from a very dysfunctional household. I focus a lot of my parenting on fostering resilience in my child. Problem solving and resilience help lead to a true, enduring self-esteem. Unlike just telling a kid he or she is great, good job, what have you. I think self esteem is critical for everyone, but even moreso for a girl with a bad role model father, or an absent father. There are myriad reasons the father may be absent, but the one the kid will take to heart is a feeling of not being good enough to earn his love. Don't let her go out there thinking she has to earn men's love.
It's tough, but it can be done. GL.
Don't have dysfunctional romantic relationships yourself. Keep your romantic relationships away from your kid until they are very serious. It's better for your child to see you alone, without a man, then to see you act out unhealthy patterns. Kids internalize what they see and tend to repeat it as an adult.
Agree with good, positive male role models.
I came from a very dysfunctional household. I focus a lot of my parenting on fostering resilience in my child. Problem solving and resilience help lead to a true, enduring self-esteem. Unlike just telling a kid he or she is great, good job, what have you. I think self esteem is critical for everyone, but even moreso for a girl with a bad role model father, or an absent father. There are myriad reasons the father may be absent, but the one the kid will take to heart is a feeling of not being good enough to earn his love. Don't let her go out there thinking she has to earn men's love.
It's tough, but it can be done. GL.
Anonymous
02/14/2013 10:12
Subject: Raising a child without a father
Girl
Anonymous
02/14/2013 08:07
Subject: Raising a child without a father
Is the child a boy or a girl?
Anonymous
02/14/2013 06:50
Subject: Re:Raising a child without a father
have male role models.
Will your child have a Grandpa, Uncles, close family friends that are male?
Children need role models of both sexes, It doesnt have to be a Mother or father.
Will your child have a Grandpa, Uncles, close family friends that are male?
Children need role models of both sexes, It doesnt have to be a Mother or father.
Anonymous
02/14/2013 02:34
Subject: Raising a child without a father
What can I do to make the ending a happy one?