Personally, I would also go back for about 6 months. I think anything less than that (or not going back) would burn bridges and would leave my team in a bad position. In our company though, once you say "I don't see myself here long term", even if you try to give LOTS of notice, they tell you to kick rocks, so you better have somewhere to go when you have that conversation.

OP bumping this thread because I would like to hear from women who didn't come back from maternity leave. How did it work out for you? I am generally not in favor of doing this, but some circumstances have changed, and it would be ideal for me not to come back. I don't want to burn bridges - can I expect that burning bridges is basically exactly what happens most of the time when women do this?

OP: I'm in a very similar boat (6 years, specialized smll office, no room for advancement unless my boss dies or leaves) and I'm expecting my second. In fact, I was on the job market and then opps.

OP here. Thanks for the replies. I like the suggestion of waiting to see how I feel after delivery. Ideally it would be nice to tell my supervisor right now that the job isn't a good fit for me, but that I would like to leave some options open. If I still feel that I want to leave when I come back, I'll wait several months then give a lot of notice. I think a lot of notice would be a better way to leave on good terms.

Anonymous wrote:I'd actually hold off on talking to your supervisor, simply because you might discover that the job is a better-than-expected fit post-baby. Everyone is different, but I found that for a year after the births of each of my.kids, I had zero ambition. I went to work and did a good job, but I was just treading water in terms of my long-term goals. A boring job could be a good fit for a year or two longer than you might have thought.

I'm PP here- this is true.. jumping ship to another firm may be a worse fit post-birth. If you do wait 6 months, you may then realize boring is better for the time being (until kids are in ES).

I'd actually hold off on talking to your supervisor, simply because you might discover that the job is a better-than-expected fit post-baby. Everyone is different, but I found that for a year after the births of each of my.kids, I had zero ambition. I went to work and did a good job, but I was just treading water in terms of my long-term goals. A boring job could be a good fit for a year or two longer than you might have thought.

Agree - 6 months is what I would plan for. Also, this seems like a situation where honesty wouldn't hurt anyone. Having a conversation with your supervisor either before you go on leave or immediately after, telling him/her that you don't see yourself there long term, might be helpful to you both.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think you need to stay very long at all- I've seen many women (I'm a WM) who went back and then decided the job didn't fit with their change of family situation. Is this your first child? Also- are you staying because of medical benefits (during leave) and/or will you get paid?

I will get paid for my time off. I am not staying for the medical benefits. I would quit now, but the position requires fairly specialized skills, and I don't want to leave my supervisor or colleagues hanging. I've had a sense for some time that this wouldn't be the best fit long term, but recently I've realized that it's not working out for me right now. Balancing their needs against mine I'm wondering if bowing out after 6-9 months looks bad. I realize I won't get a definite answer on this until I speak with my boss directly, but I'd like to bounce this off others while I mull over how to handle this.

I think 6-9 months is perfectly fine. I wouldn't do much less than that. You don't want to give the impression that you stayed just for the paid leave.

Agreed.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think you need to stay very long at all- I've seen many women (I'm a WM) who went back and then decided the job didn't fit with their change of family situation. Is this your first child? Also- are you staying because of medical benefits (during leave) and/or will you get paid?

I will get paid for my time off. I am not staying for the medical benefits. I would quit now, but the position requires fairly specialized skills, and I don't want to leave my supervisor or colleagues hanging. I've had a sense for some time that this wouldn't be the best fit long term, but recently I've realized that it's not working out for me right now. Balancing their needs against mine I'm wondering if bowing out after 6-9 months looks bad. I realize I won't get a definite answer on this until I speak with my boss directly, but I'd like to bounce this off others while I mull over how to handle this.

I think 6-9 months is perfectly fine. I wouldn't do much less than that. You don't want to give the impression that you stayed just for the paid leave.

Anonymous wrote:I don't think you need to stay very long at all- I've seen many women (I'm a WM) who went back and then decided the job didn't fit with their change of family situation. Is this your first child? Also- are you staying because of medical benefits (during leave) and/or will you get paid?

I will get paid for my time off. I am not staying for the medical benefits. I would quit now, but the position requires fairly specialized skills, and I don't want to leave my supervisor or colleagues hanging. I've had a sense for some time that this wouldn't be the best fit long term, but recently I've realized that it's not working out for me right now. Balancing their needs against mine I'm wondering if bowing out after 6-9 months looks bad. I realize I won't get a definite answer on this until I speak with my boss directly, but I'd like to bounce this off others while I mull over how to handle this.

I stayed for about 5 months after my maternity leave ended. I thought that was long enough in my case.

I don't think you need to stay very long at all- I've seen many women (I'm a WM) who went back and then decided the job didn't fit with their change of family situation. Is this your first child? Also- are you staying because of medical benefits (during leave) and/or will you get paid?

I've been in my job with this supervisor for 7 years. I'm going to be taking maternity leave shortly. I've been realizing that this position isn't a good fit for me long term, and even in the short term there isn't room for advancement or more interesting work. I plan on returning to work after being out on maternity leave, but I'm not looking to stay at this company long term. What is a good amount of time to work after mat leave before resigning? I don't want to burn bridges - going out on maternity leave and simply not returning, no matter how tempting, is not something I would do. I have some personal flexibility in that I can do consulting work once I leave, so I don't have to have a position at another company locked in before resigning.