Anonymous wrote:It's fucking miserable. The problem with it is that you don't share moments as a family. One of you always gets the kids at the ass end of the day. You have no flexibility to do anything you may want or need to do, work late, take a class see a friend anything. You don't share experiences as a family, one of you is always telling the other what was funny or cute or difficult. You don't have another adult around who can share in the not so pleasant moments. The PP is right, you essentially become two single parents living in the same house. It's very difficult to come back from that. One parent never gets to experience Johnny's piano lesson while the other one always does. You rarely function in the community or at evening school events as a family. That is a powerful thing and sends a powerful message. Me, I'd not do it, nor would I agree to be ina relationship where this happened. I did it once so I speak from experience.
I'm 15:19, and like I said, it's not optimal for a lot of the reasons you note. It is definitely a drag sometimes, and I would love it if my husband got home at 5. But many people live with situations where both parents don't work 9-5. In many, someone works a night shift. In others, one parent works super-long hours and the other SAH. And people make it work and function in their community and give their kids a happy life. In my view, it's not worth ending my marriage for, and it's also not worth making my husband give up his career, which he finds fulfilling.